


Mountains, Hills and Dusty Window Sills

by bookcases



Series: The Ida Atlas Elizabeth Holmes Collection [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Sherlock Holmes, F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27842317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookcases/pseuds/bookcases
Summary: In Scotland, the journey continues as Atlas seeks to discover more about her papa's past and find out more about his family and why there are so many clouded truths surrounding them.Follow Atlas Watson-Holmes and her new companion Sammy Walters as they journey through the mountains and let their dreams grow.WARNING: BAD LANGAUGE THROUGHOUT
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson & Rosamund Mary "Rosie" Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: The Ida Atlas Elizabeth Holmes Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776367





	1. An Obvious Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME BACK!!!!
> 
> If you are new to this story it is sort of advised that you read the two books prior however you may be able to get away with it. 
> 
> My timings are a little all over the place but I hope you enjoy!

"RIGHT, you lot," John said eyeing up Sammy who was standing with his guitar slung around his neck, Atlas who was sitting on the piano stool with her cello and Sherlock who was stood holding his violin under his chin and righty tighty-ing his bow whilst Rosie watched. "Our storage space on this trip is limited...however...each of you can take _one_ instrument and one instrument only." 

"Is my guitar too big?" Sammy asked and John shook his head with a smile.

"Figured you would want to take it, but Atlas sweetheart, your cello is and I'm afraid the piano, _really_ is." John said with a smile as Atlas nodded with a smile. "It's a squeeze to fit it in the Yeti." John smirked at that, thinking about when they had traded out the Skoda Fabia. The fabia had just become too small for five and a dog and so the change was in order, even if John still bared a grudge over missing his nippy little Fabia.

"We don't go for four days, John," Sherlock moaned as he put down his fiddle. 

"Yes, but, well, I want to be prepared," John said before he left the music landing and disappeared into his bedroom. And Atlas gave Sherlock a look as if to say _'Go on'_ and watched as he got to his feet and followed on to John's tail. 

"John?" Sherlock asked as he leaned against their doorframe and watched his husband as he fussed about the bedroom. He looked up to Sherlock before he opened up their chest of drawers in a flurry of madness. "John? What's worrying you?" 

"Them, Sherlock," John said as he pulled out a fleece and held it up to his stomach. "Do you think it'll fit me?" Sherlock just looked at him like a rabbit caught in some headlights. "No, probably not, I should probably start running again...or-or maybe cycling? Yeah...maybe that...anyway..."

"Slow down," Sherlock said coming over and holding John's wrist as it reached into the drawer. "What's wrong?" John looked at him but just pulled his wrist out of Sherlock's grip.

"What if they...? I don't know," John said as he walked to the bed and sat down.

"John?" Sherlock asked before he kneeled by John and rested his chin on his knee like he had done before. John just looked at him with a simple expression.

"You know," John said quickly and that was when Sherlock pulled away and looked at him sharply. 

"I don't know," Sherlock replied and replaced his chin.

"Oh, Sherlock," John sighed as he looked at him. "What if they...? I'm trying to think how to put it." Sherlock just watched his facial expressions with utter confusion.

"John, I can't read your face," Sherlock said as he pulled away and got to his feet, bouncing a little. 

"Christ, Sherlock," John said with a sudden frustrated, hot fury. "Why do you have to make everything more difficult than it has to be?"

"I don't know," Sherlock sighed as he looked away from John and John really should've taken that as a sign to stop the trajectory he was on. But he blew up, he knew he shouldn't, if anything he was angry for himself and the relationships he had made - or rather, _not_ made - within his family.

"Bloody hell," John said as he got to his feet. "Why do I bother?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sherlock asked quietly, looking at him with a saddness in his eyes.

"Talk to you!" John shouted. "You always ask more questions than there needs to be and Sherlock, christ, it gets tiring."

"I can't help it, I just don't understand," Sherlock said back.

"This is what I mean, Sherlock, you can deduce a body but you can't tell what the hell I'm trying to tell you!" John shouted at Sherlock.

"Yeah, well maybe there's a reason," Sherlock said, raising his voice a little bit. 

"Oh really? Pray tell, do enlighten me," John said raising an eyebrow in mockery. 

"Because...I...am...autistic," Sherlock said quietly, looking John in the eyes. "I have asperger's. I'm autistic, there, are you happy? Was that satisfactory?" John opened his mouth to speak but shut it again. "Good." Sherlock brushed past his husband and left the older man with a salty taste in his mouth.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN Sherlock hopped into the front seat of the land rover, prepared to drive and drive and drive he was surprised to see Atlas sitting in the passenger seat. 

"So, you finally told him then?" Atlas asked, eyeing him up. "Heard your little domestic."

"Yes," Sherlock sighed as he sat back in the seat. "It's just social situations and...well...instructions." 

"I know, dad," Atlas whispered, looking at him with a nod. "I know." And then she noticed the frown on his features, deep lines of thought that Atlas found concerning and strange. "Are you alright?"

"What if he wants to divorce me?" Sherlock asked as he looked at her. "I haven't told him before and then we got married...what's he going to think of me? That's the sort of thing you tell someone...right?" 

"Yes, normally," Atlas started before she looked at him. "But that doesn't mean anything, dad. The reason you haven't told anyone about your autism is because, at the end of the day, the label doesn't matter that much. Your you first and foremost and then you are a list of other wonderful things aswell." 

"Ughhh," Sherlock sighed as he looked at her again. 

"Do you want to go for a walk? I put my walking boots on and yours are in the boot. We could drive for an hour and go up that hill thing," Atlas offered and Sherlock smiled and then, with a quick nod, he started up the car and they drove off. "The dogs in the boot too."  
Sherlock smiled at that as they hit the road. 

"Just don't worry about that." Atlas said after a brief interlude spanning a few minutes. "He wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you."

"Do we have any food?" Sherlock asked as they hit the motorway and Atlas rolled her eyes.

"I packed up my rucksack," Atlas smiled as she looked into the backseat. "Food and waterproofs are in there too." 

"You knew I was hopping into the car," Sherlock remarked and Atlas nodded with a smile. 

"Predictable," Atlas huffed before she looked at him. "Dad, don't let the fact your autistic get you down. I love you and Rosie loves you and Rebeard loves you but most importantly John loved you no matter what. Okay?" 

"Yeah, I know love," Sherlock said as he looked at her momentarily. Atlas however, didn't reply and instead her gaze and attention was focused on her phone.

**Blue Eyes: _Me and dad are going walking._**

**Papa: _Alright, did he say anything?_**

**Blue Eyes: _It's complicated papa, you know it is. I'm helping him detox and I suggest you think about doing the same._**

**Papa: _I upset him, didn't I?_**

**Blue Eyes: _He tries, papa, just, promise you won't forget again? He tries so hard to understand._**

**Papa: _I know._ **

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

PULLING into the carpark, Atlas and Sherlock were both glad to see that it was quiet with only two other vehicles. He pulled into a spot and, hopping out, collected his boots. Atlas already had hers on, so pulling on a fleece, she collected her rucksack and let the dog out the boot who immediately went to Sherlock.

"No, Redbeard, your not helping," Sherlock said as the dog nuzzled at the boot laces. "Yes, I love you too, thank you." The dog licked his face next and he giggled. "Atlas, control your animal."

"Red," Atlas said, tapping her thigh and heading towards the map. Sherlock watched her go before getting up, putting on a fleece and joining her. 

"Long or short?" Sherlock asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. He rubbed with his thumb and she looked at him.

"The long one is only seven miles," Atlas said rolling her eyes. "Can we do that one? It goes up that hill and walks along the ridge, it'll be quieter, passes the viewpoint and goes elsewhere." 

"Yeah," Sherlock said with a smile. "I was hoping you'd say that." 

"Good," Atlas smiled before they collected one of the maps and set out on on that trail. The first part of the trail was a little muddy and they found themselves wading a little bit whilst Rebeard bounded through the mud quite happily. Jumping onto the bank, the dog lead was looped around Atlas' neck and she helped her dad up. Together they walked along the bank and avoided the mud whilst Redbeard ran through it all, chasing a crow which was pecking at a squished grey squirrel. Jumping off the bank they continued along the path until offered a fork, of which they turned left and continued along a rock path. 

"So," Sherlock started before Atlas shot him a look. 

"Are you trying to start a conversation?" Atlas asked with a smirk as they started to climb.

"Maybe. You know, I can take the rucksack if you need me to?" Sherlock offered and Atlas laughed. 

"It's a womens fit," Atlas said before Sherlock offered an outstretched hand. "Alright, thank you, it's quite heavy because there's loads of water." 

"Well, gotta stay hydrated," Sherlock smiled as he took it and fastened the buckles. 

"Thank you," Atlas smiled before she started running up the hill a little after the dog who had a stick in his mouth. 

"Your nuts," Sherlock laughed when she stood halfway up the hill waiting for him. When he reached her they fell into step and continued walking up the hill. 

It took a while to get up to the top of the hill and when he got there, he smiled. The view over the city was amazing and for a moment he felt like he was up the Salisbury Crags north of the border. Walking along the top they neared a bench and took a seat taking off the rucksack and pulling out some water, of which they had already consumed some of.

"Lunch?" Atlas asked as she collapsed into the chair, slumping.

"Yeah," Sherlock said taking out the box of salmon sandwiches with a smile. Munching on the sandwiches they looked over to the view, the dog lying on their feet. 

"Just so you know, I do love you dad. I'm grateful to you and of course papa too, for sitting with me in the hospital. You didn't have to and you should really have gone home and I feel _selfish_ for asking you to do all that," Atlas said around a mouthful of salmon sandwich. 

"Hey," Sherlock interrupted. "Don't say that. What else would I have done? I've lost you before and I nearly lost you and I keep getting close to it over and over and over so if I was going to lose you forever, I wasn't going to let you go alone." He looked at her when he finished his sandwich half and Atlas smiled weakly. "You were not selfish to want your dads and John won't think you are either." He put his hands either side of her face. "Okay?" 

"Okay," Atlas said, nodding. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sherlock smiled.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

AS the sun started to set on the horizon, Atlas and Sherlock weren't back at the car. 

"We're lost dad," Atlas whispered as they looked back. "I think we need to head back up the path, up the hill I mean."

"You ok?" Sherlock asked as he looked at the sun lighting up the features in her face. 

"Umm..." Atlas whispered looking at him. "Yeah, I'm just tired dad." 

"Okay," Sherlock said quietly. "Tell me if you feel anything, okay?" 

"Yeah," Atlas said before she looked around. "We're smarter than reclimbing the hill."

"Yes, we are," Sherlock smiled before he pulled out the map. He looked at it in the light before he started walking and Atlas just followed on. "Come on." 

"I'm coming," Atlas giggled before they made their way back.

It was dark when they got back to the car and whilst Sherlock was putting various things in the car, Atlas noticed something. She walked over to one of the wheels and sighed when she noticed it was flat. 

"We're not going anywhere unless the spare tyre is on the boot and it's not because we had a flat two weeks ago." Atlas sighed as she looked at her dad. "We've got a flat." 

"Shit," Sherlock swore as he looked at the tyre as Atlas began to pin in the number sequence for John's mobile.

"Papa," Atlas said and she sounded like she was going to cry. 

"Hello sweetheart, what's wrong?" John asked urgently into the phone.

"Me and dad went on a walk and we got lost and we just got back and our tyres flat and we need picking up a-" Atlas said quietly. 

"Okay, slow down," John said quickly. "We'll bring a change of shoes for you both and I'll take your meds alright? And we'll go to Angelo's for tea. Do you need a change of clothes?" 

"No," Atlas said. "Papa?" 

"Yeah?" John asked quietly.

"Dad's autism doesn't define him," Atlas said quietly, meeting her dads eyes.

"I know it doesn't. Where abouts are you?" John asked.

"The car park at Frobishers," Atlas replied before they exchanged a goodbye and he hung up. 

"Atlas," Sherlock said and Atlas popped her head around the corner. "Hop in." He said tapping the boot. 

"Why?" Atlas asked. 

"Because you look pale and it's turning cold," Sherlock said as she hopped in, next to the dog and leaned against him. 

"What about you?" Atlas asked looking at him. "We could always turn the car on." 

"Nah," Sherlock said as he disappeared and collected his Bellstaff from the backseat, swinging it onto his shoulders. "This is alright, it's my trusty coat."

"Of which you have three others at home," Atlas giggled before Sherlock pulled her to his chest in a sweet embrace. "Papa's bringing my medication and then we're going to Angelo's." 

"Okay," Sherlock said as he rested his cheek against her.

Sherlock and Atlas filled the hour and fifteen minutes of time with mind games, chats and talks among so many other things. The dog had long since begun to snooze in the boot when John pulled up into the car park, when he stopped, out hopped himself, Rosie and Sammy. Redbeard perked up and ran to Rosie before Atlas frowned, disgruntled and looked over to John.

"Papa," Atlas whispered as she hopped out and made her way over to him, slipping her arms around his shoulders. 

"Alright sweetheart?" John said. "God, your freezing. Sammy has your meds." Atlas detached herself and walked over to him, hugging him tightly. 

John walked over to Sherlock and reached a hand up to touch his cheek but the sharp snap of his head away, from John's hand asserted the mood. They weren't _OK._

The kids all hopped into the car with Sammy in the middle as John opened the boot, the dog jumping in and put the rucksack beside him.

"Angelo didn't have any seating so we're going to Risto's," John said as he turned away from the city and started to drive. All the while looking to Sherlock who was looking out the window at the starry sky. 

"Risto's!" Rosie squealed, as she held Jeff up in the air and Sherlock turned around to smile at her. 

"What's Risto's?" Sammy asked as he looked to Atlas who smiled at him.

"A nice little restaurant with a buffet that we really like, we don't go very much. Normally on the way home from Grandma's and Grandad's " Atlas informed whilst Rosie nodded enthusiastically at Atlas' statement. 

"Cool," Sammy said with a smile. "Oh, yeah, Sherlock?"

"Yup?" Sherlock asked turning around to look at him.

"The estate agents rang and they made an appointment in the next few days," Sammy said quietly. "And so did the coroner...they can't hold the bodies much longer. My mum's will says cremation but I don't know what to do with Georgia." 

"We'll talk about it tommorow, yeah? I promise." Sherlock said with a smile. 

"Okay," Sammy nodded with a small smile whilst Atlas just rested her head against his shoulder. 

"Your our family, don't feel like you have to do it on your own," Atlas said with a smile. "I promise."

"We all do," John smiled as he looked at him in the rear mirror. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"I'LL...ummm...yeah...I'll take Rosie to school. Sammy?" Sherlock said over the island, Sammy spinning to look at him. "Ready to go?" 

"Yip, yep, yop," Sammy said before he vaulted over the sofa and came over to the island. Sherlock looked sort of haphazardly at John who did not meet his eyes and last night...oh, last night.

Sherlock had tried to put his arms around John but he'd pulled out of his grasp and so, they went to sleep with their backs to one another. It was cold without John's fluffy socks against his or his body. And it hurt, to think he'd upset his husband, one of the most important people in his life. And he didn't mean to. He really, didn't mean to. 

Now, he just nodded quietly to John, his eyes downcast. He reached out a hand to Rosie who took it as they followed Sammy out.

"Check on Atlas...will you?" Sherlock asked, but John only nodded and soon he was out the door. 

Once he was gone John put a hand over his eyes and gripped the edge of the island before he regained his composure and began to climb the stairs, Atlas' medicine in hand and a small glass of water. The early lark was normally up before the worms as he knocked lightly. Entering he saw Atlas, supposedly sleeping with the duvet all tucked up next to her chest. He could see Whisper clutched near her nose and he frowned.

"Are you awake sweetheart?" John said as he walked over to her bed and put the painkillers, medicine and water onto the sidetable. 

"Yeah," She mumbled as she wriggled a little. Sitting down on her bed, John's hand went to her shoulder. 

"Are you alright, love?" John asked as Atlas nodded sitting up. "Just starting to wonder if you'd died." 

Atlas giggled before she sat up, rolling her shoulder. 

"Yeah, no, your not feeling alright this morning are you?" John asked as he rubbed her shoulder and Atlas shook her head. 

"What's up?" He asked with a little smile, gentle as she continued to roll her shoulder and her wrists.

"My heads sore and I feel a little dizzy," Atlas muttered before John tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"You probably need a bit of food but you definately need some medicine and some water." John said with a little smile. "Are you in pain?" 

"A little," Atlas said wincing as she sat up to take the glass of water. 

"The seizure medication should help and then you also need to take your tremor medicine too," John smiled as Atlas frowned at them. 

"I know," Atlas sighed as she took them both and frowned. "They all help each other but the seizure medication didn't help the tremors." She paused. "It's funny how long it takes for people to be diagnosed. I was diagnosed quickly in comparison to a lot of cases."

John nodded as he looks at her. "I need to ask you a question and I need you to answer it honestly." Atlas nodded. "How long did you have the pain?" 

"A long time," Atlas said quietly. "The doctors all just said it was growing pains. And then it got worse but I didn't think it was important because of how often it varied and changed. Never in the same spot." She looked like she was about to cry.

"I'd have made the same diagnosis," John smiled as Atlas nodded quietly.

"I know," Atlas nodded, blinking and looking at her knees. "It's just hard." And then she looked away as one tear escaped her left eye.

"Oh, love," John said as he opened his arms and Atlas leaned against him. "Your allowed to be upset about it. There's a lot that comes with FND and more symptoms you might get. But no matter what happens sweetheart, I am here for you and your dad will be here for you. Alright?" Atlas nodded before she sobbed. "Okay, oh, love." 

"Papa," Atlas sobbed as she gripped at his upper arm and shut her eyes against his chest. 

"I'm here," John said before kissing her hair as she cried. 

"I'm sorry," Atlas said in a voice that sounded desperate and heartbroken. Her tears flowing freely and snot building up on his shirt. "You didn't sign up for this."

"I signed up to be your dad," John said pulling away and looking at her, with his hands either side of her face. "Which means I signed up for this." He looked at her face which was screwed up and so...so afraid. Stroking several strands of hair behind her ear he gave a kind smile. 

"But you didn't sign up to some kid whose ill, who has more health issues than you can count on one hand. You can always cop out if you ever want to." Atlas said, her voice suddenly even, measured. 

"That's not how adoption works," John said quietly. "Are you afraid I'm going to leave?"

Atlas shrugged her shoulders at that. "They normally do." 

"I'm not they," John said quietly. "I'm not leaving, for a start, I love your dad too much for that."

"You need to make it up to him," Atlas whispered against him.

"I know I do," John said back. "And I'm hoping, that if your feeling better, you would like to come with me to the jewellers." 

"Why?" Atlas asked. 

"Because me and your dad never got proper rings," John paused. "We just got _make do_ rings." 

"So?" Atlas asked quietly.

"I got some new gold ones...which have engravings on the insides." John smiled as she looked at him. "They say 'Dinner?'"

"'Starving,'" Atlas finished with a giggle. 

"Yeah," John sighed. "I got them months ago and Sherlock never found out but conveniently they need picking up today."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"CAN we take Redbeard for a walk while we're out?" Atlas asked as she looked up at her papa with a smile. 

"No." John said with a smile. "We only have one car and your dad is doing the school run this morning. We're going to have to catch the bus. Slide the back door open a little though." Atlas did so before she pulled on her yellow high tops and put on her dark blue coat - the last one got wrecked with acid - which resembled Sherlock's. 

"Oh yeah," Atlas said with a laugh. "I forgot about having one car. Is AA recovering it?"

"Yep, they're going to take it to the garage where the tyre will be swapped and we should be able to pick it up soon," John grinned before they left, locking the front door. 

**At: _Me and papa are out. We locked the door and the back door is open for Red._**

**Dad: _Okay._ **

She didn't push it by sending another message and instead followed her father out the gate and started to walk along the pavement.

"I am excited you know," Atlas said after some time of walking. "To go to Scotland. And strangely, I'm excited to meet your family."

"Nothing strange about that, love," John said as he walked next to her. 

"And I'm excited that Sammy is a part of our family now and I'm really grateful to you and dad," Atlas smiled. " _And_ we now have a cat. Speaking of Mou, is she going to hang out in the house?" 

"Eurus is going to house sit," John said and Atlas giggled.

"She'll be good. Aunty Eurus likes animals." 

"Yup," John laughed. "Especially feline." 

"Definately," Atlas said as they finally got to the bus stop they required. "Papa?" She asked once they'd stopped. "When do me and Sam have to go back to school?" 

"When your ready to," John said looking at the times on the poster in the shelter. 

"But what if I don't... _want_ to go back?" Atlas asked, trying to hint at her serious desire to not go back. 

"We'll cross that bridge when we happen across it," John said but when he saw Atlas' features sag and her eyes glaze over he realised that that wasn't the right answer. "Hey." Atlas looked up at him warily. "If you don't want to go then we won't push you, you can work with your dad or start with your music or whatever. Okay?"

"I just feel really like...anxious," Atlas said.

"I know," John smiled as the bus pulled up and they hopped aboard. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THE rings were, in the simplest expression possible, beautiful. And with a smile John paid for them and they left the jewellers. Outside, John's phone went off and he answered.

"Hello?" John asked into the mobile with a grin.

"Lunch date big bro?" The voice on the other side of the line asked.

"That would be nice, with mum aswell?" He asked shortly.

"Yup, we're flying to Aberdeen tonight from Heathrow so we're hoping to have a moment to see you before we go," Harry said.

"Alright, Atlas is with me though, so I hope that's alright?" John asked as Atlas eyed him up questioning who the caller was.

"Of course it's alright, we're going to that Zizzi's next to that shopping centre that's near the London library , will you meet us there?" Harry said.

"Great description but luckily Atlas will know where you mean, yeah, we'll see you there," John said smiling as he looked at Atlas who was bouncing on her toes.

"We're going to meet Harry and Jo for some lunch at Zizzi's because they are flying to ABZ tonight," Atlas informed with a small smile and John nodded.

"Yep," John said before they started the twenty minute walk to the Zizzi's they were meeting at. 

When they finally arrived they could see Harry and Jo in a little booth off to one side and they joined them. Atlas slipped into the seat next to the wall and John slipped in next to her. 

"Pass me your coat, papa," Atlas said to John as she held out a hand to him and he handed her his coat. She tucked it down to her right and he smiled at his mum.

"How have you been?" John asked with a smile. 

"Good," Jo answered, her hair scooped back. "We've been packing and getting ready. How are you, Atlas? You look a little better."

"I went back into hospital two weeks after getting out," Atlas answered plainly. "But yeah, I feel better now."

"You weren't great this morning," John said as he put a hand to her back and Atlas gave an awkward smile that confirmed his statement.

"'Spose not," Atlas said as she looked at John with a weak smile before looking back to the menu that was infront of her. 

"May I ask, what was wrong?" Harry asked as her eyes met Atlas.

"Just some days I have some pain and then I had a headache and I was dizzy too," Atlas said looking at the menu. "But I feel better now." 

"That's good," Harry smiled before Atlas nodded. 

"Not helped that the red army hath arrived," Atlas giggled as she looked at the menu.

"That was pretty good," John laughed and Atlas nodded before she looked up at him. She nodded before she smiled again.

Not long after, the server came up and they ordered their drinks and some halloumi fries to share between them all.

"So long as you don't tell your dad, I will thoroughly enjoy the chicken on my pizza," John said looking at Atlas who giggled. 

"I won't tell him pa, I promise," Atlas said with a grin before she looked over to Jo and Harry.

"How are you Jo?" Atlas asked as she sipped some of her lemonade that had just been put on the table. 

"Very good, thank you for asking. I heard you have a cat now?" Jo asked with a smile.

"Yup," Atlas smiled. "Sammy had a cat called Mou so she's living with us and Aunty Eurus is looking after her while we're away."

"I told your papa's Aunt Isla that there would be five of you plus Redbeard," Jo said before she looked to John. "I hope I was correct with that."

"Yeah," John said with a smile. "Rosie wouldn't go without Redbeard." 

The halloumi fries were delivered  
to the table a moment later.

"Who is she?" Atlas asked as she collected a halloumi fry and smiled at Harry. 

"God your quick," Harry said wide eyed.

"I know I am," Atlas smiled.

"She's the same as the first," Harry smiled.

"Your back with Clara?" John asked in medium surprise at Harry. 

"Yep," Harry said with a smile.

"That's good," John said with an ear to ear grin. "She's good for you."

"I know," Harry smiled. "I know."

"So, Atlas," Harry smiled. "Have you got _your_ eyes on anyone special?"

"No," Atlas replied quickly. "I don't like anyone. I don't even know if I were to like them, who they'd be. I think I'm bisexual but I don't know if I am. And I know that I've never liked anyone like that. My dad's the same. He's gay and has only ever loved someone who he made a strong emotional bond with and he's sitting right next to me." 

"What about your mum?" Harry asked.

"Out of the picture, dad didn't love her. Not really. Not the way he wanted to and she was...abusive so that ended when she went away when I was four." Atlas said looking at the menu and she felt John's hand go back to her back, rubbing gently. 

"Sorry, I didn't realise," Harry said with an apologetic smile.

"S'alright, hardly anyone knows," Atlas answered looking at her before she looked over to John. "And besides, the past doesn't really matter, my _mum_ doesn't really matter to me because I have two dads, a cat, two siblings and a dog." She was smiling now. "And stop looking like your going to regret having pizza papa, your not fat. Your nice and your comfortable and I like you just as you are."

"That doesn't change much, love, I was going to start running." John said before Atlas looked at him as if to say _'seriously?'_

"To work?" His mother asked with a smile.

"No," John sighed before he looked to Atlas again who's eyes drifted away. 

"He lost his job," Atlas mumbled. "Because he was with me."

"But you worked at a doctors practice, how could they not understand that?" Harry asked urgently, John shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't know," John said before there was a thoughtful pause. "But I do know that I don't regret a moment spent with Atlas."

"Of course you don't," Jo smiled before Atlas moved to lean against him, his arm going up and around her shoulders. He kissed her hair before smiling at his mum who was smiling back. "Who would regret that?"

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

SHERLOCK and John didn't speak until that evening when they were in their room. The younger man was sat sorting the bookcase into alphabetical order after pulling them all out - even though they already _were_ in alphabetical order. He was in his pyjamas his robe over his shoulders and was pursuing this in an attempt to calm himself down, prepare for another cold night.

"Sherlock, love," John said quietly Sherlock not looking at him. Getting onto his knees next to Sherlock he handed him the next one that was in the series and Sherlock took it wordlessly. And then, the next and the next until they had finished putting them in the right order. 

"Sherlock," John said when the man didn't look at him. "I got something." John held out his hand with the two rings inside his palm. Opening it like a flower to him. "Mine says...'Starving.'" He paused. "And yours says-"

"'Dinner?'" Sherlock said looking at John before he suddenly kissed him, with tears. He sobbed into the kiss before he pulled away and got to his feet, arms crossing across his stomach protectively.

"I don't mean to," Sherlock said as the arms across his stomach tightened, tears in his eyes. John got to his feet to stand opposite him. "I really don't mean to." He pauses, his face withdrawn. "It's just hard...But you have to know, it's not only you who doesn't know. Obviously Mycroft and Eurus know and so do my parents and Atlas does, though she's always known." He paused and looked at John before looking away sharply. "I would have told you but people always judge me and then I never wanted to get into the habit of using it as an excuse, not that people do but I just..." Sherlock sighed, looked around the room and the arms around his waist tightens. "People always think it's a bad thing and it's not. And it's a spectrum so it's never the same in everyone as well...you probably already know." He removed his arms and twiddled the new ring on his finger and looked at it. "For me...it's yeah...just instructions...yeah...sorry...  
and...uh...social..." He waved his arms and hands around in the air. "Situations." He stopped. "Your getting mad, aren't you?" Sherlock finally looked up and saw that the older man had tears in his eyes. "No, what did I do? Sorry, you - you," Sherlock pulled the ring off his finger. "Can have it back? John, I don't..." But when John's hand touched his cheek, Sherlock stopped speaking and looked at John. "I'm sorry." 

"Oh, Sherlock," John said with a smile. "I don't care if your autistic, deaf or blind you are and will always be the love of my life. Would I still be standing here if I cared?" 

"John," Sherlock whispered, looking at him.

"I'm here Sherlock," John whispered as he rested his forehead against his. "Just, breathe. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, love." 

"John," Sherlock whispered as John's hand crawled around the back of the young man's neck. He rubbed with his thumb and smiled at him. "I love you." 

"I know you do and I love you too," John smiled as Sherlock nodded. 

"It's always been you," Sherlock smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the best but I felt the need to clear up whether my Sherlock was autistic or not.
> 
> Hope this was alright and I hope to see you next chapter!


	2. Glee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, unbetaed.

THE HISSING of a voice in the dark stirred John suddenly and he woke up razor sharp and ready. Only to see a dimly lit blonde haired, green eyed boy staring at him. 

"Sammy?" John asked suddenly, the boy's head still peering over him.

"I didn't know if I should wake you or Sherlock but Atlas' is acting weird, like really weird," Sammy said urgently as John threw off the blankets, waking a one Sherlock Holmes who grumbled to his feet and followed a minute later.

Entering Atlas' room, John saw Atlas sleeping but mumbling in her sleep. Her arms and legs kept moving and he could see the strain on her face.

"Is it a nightmare?" Sammy whispered as he watched Atlas' head tossing from right to left.

"Afraid so," John sighed as he looked at Sammy, wrapped an arm around his tall shoulders and pulled him into his side. "We can't wake her up but I do think we should wait and see if she wakes up, cause if she does she'll need us. Okay?" 

Sammy nodded. "It's the PTSD, isn't it?" 

"Yes," John said before Sammy angled his head to lean against John's shoulder. "Alright, kid?" 

"Just hard to watch," Sammy sniffed as Atlas tossed and turned in her bed. 

"You can go back to bed if you want," John offered but Sammy was quick to shake his head. 

It was the blood curdling scream that made John look back to Atlas who was sitting bolt upright in bed breathing too fast, eyes wide, pupils blown, chest tight and her left leg bouncing under the duvet. Her mouth was forming a speed of incoherent mumbling that was evidently an ongoing part of whatever was going on in her mind. 

"Atlas, are you awake?" John asked before he walked to her when she nodded as her chest gave way to a huge sob. "Sweetheart."

"It was so real and I didn't know, I'm-" Atlas sobbed as John rubbed her arms. Sammy sitting on the floor near her bed, reaching out to take one of her hands. 

Sherlock came into the room and sat down near Atlas, holding her to his chest. "Your alright, your alright, your okay." He paused. "Sweetheart, just breathe. Oh, love. I'm here, I'm here. I know. I know. I'm here." Her body was shaking, her chest heaving to keep up with the sobs fighting their way out of her mouth. "I've got you." 

"Come on, Sam," John said getting to his feet with a smile. "Back to bed." Sammy looked to Atlas then up at John with a smile. Pulling him to his feet John followed him out the door. "Try to go back to sleep." 

"I will," Sammy whispered before looking at John. "Thank you."

"What for?" John asked.

"Looking after me and helping me figure out what to do with my mum and Georgia. I think spreading them in Loch Ness is fitting considering it was one of the best holidays we had. Dad'll go with them." 

"Oh kid," John said with his eyebrows furrowed. "If you need anything you can talk to me or Sherlock, alright?"

"Yeah, I know," Sammy smiled at him before he put his arms around John and hugged him wordlessly. Tears spilling over his eyes as he let out a deep breath. "I miss them."

"I know you do," John whispered. "Me and Sherlock are here and will always be here, for you and anything you need to speak to us about." He paused with a smirk. "From, I don't know, sex to where your going to study." Sammy laughed at that. 

"You do know I'm gay right?" Sammy checked pulling away and looking at him.

"'Course I do," John smiled as he rubbed his arms. "So it seems, is your little sister." Sammy's eyes lit up with his smiling face. 

"Yeah, she's bi I think," Sammy said with a smile. "Can me and Atlas take Rosie to see the ducks tommorow?" 

"I don't see why not," John said. "She'll need a little cheering up. Now you, need sleep. Your a teenager." 

"Thank you," Sammy smiled again before he went back to bed.

John made his way downstairs, collected Atlas' favourite water bottle, spotted her toy (even though she was a teenager, he knew that things like that would always and could always calm a child experiencing a PTSD episode post nightmare) Whisper and ascended the stairs. When he entered her room again, Sherlock was still sat holding her to his chest, trying to calm her down but she wasn't out of the woods yet as the leg tremor also continued. Kneeling on the floor he offered Whisper who she took, despite feeling childish, and offered her his hand which she took eagerly and held tightly, pulling it near her chest. 

"Your alright," Sherlock whispered again and Atlas stuttered a nod. "Papa's here too now. He's going to look after you too. Not just me. It's not just me. And your papa was in the army, which means he can fight her off." 

_Her?_ John had thought, until he came to the horrifying conclusion that Atlas had had a nightmare about her mother. 

"He'll protect you. We both will," Sherlock whispered quietly, John meeting his eyes with a gentle nod. "Mary-Anne, she passed away. Papa is all we need now. All we ever will need. And remember Rosie and Sammy, Redbeard and Mou." He spoke to her as if a child but her breath rate was slowing and she seemed to be calming a little. 

"I'm here," John said after some time. "I promise." 

"I used to hide under the kitchen table," Atlas said quietly, still struggling breaths in and out. "I knew she could see me but at least it would be a little longer before she would. I dreamt about one time...this one time that I had a seizure...absence...and I dropped a vase and smash..." She squeezed John's hand as she wheezed a little. "Tiny pieces and I hid under the table. She wouldn't find me there. But she did...but this time..." She stopped and looked at John then down to her lap. "It was always worse when she hit dad. When she hit me it was just a little slap here or a little slap there...it didn't matter...unless she was really angry but with Dad because he was an adult..."

"Atlas," Sherlock sighed and Atlas shook her head.

"My trauma," She whispered. "It helps for me to speak about it, order my thoughts." A pause. "Anyway, she hit dad...a lot...but punched him and kicked him and burned him with the butt's of cigarettes and then when she was finished and she went out to hook up with a another lonely man whose wife was out of town, dad would crawl underneath the table or find me under the stairs. And he'd cry. We'd both cry. And dad would kiss me and make me feel better but I couldn't make dad feel better, I couldn't-" She sobbed then.

"I know," Sherlock whispered letting out his own little cries into her hair and John sat stock still and shocked. He knew Atlas' mother abused them, that much had been clear for a while now, but he never knew it was as physical as that. Split eyebrows and cut lips. Black eyes and burn marks. Bruises and a broken tooth.

"Oh, love," John said as he sat on the bed. "I'm here to protect not only you, but your dad. You two are some of the most important people in my life so I'm going to protect you. I'm not leaving, I'm not going to hurt you and I'm going to protect you." 

Atlas nodded sharply before detaching from Sherlock and lying down on the bed. With a gentle smile Sherlock got to his feet, pulled the chair beside the bed closer and sat down. He stroked the offending hair out of her eyes and she gave a little smile before she closed her eyes and tried to sleep again. But her mind was filled with the images of her nightmare. 

And that's when Sherlock began to sing, softly and shyly:

_I walk the maze of moments  
But everywhere I turn to  
Begins a new beginning   
But never finds a finish  
I walk to the horizon  
And there I find another  
It all seems so surprising   
And then I find that I know _

John looked over to Sherlock with a small smile. He recognised the music but when Sherlock was singing it it sounded less like the original jumpy rhythm and instead sounded, raw, gentle and kind.

_You go there you're gone forever  
I go there I'll lose my way  
If we stay here we're not together  
Anywhere is _

John looked at Sherlock in wonder as her breaths evened out and her chest began to fall into a steady rhythm.

_The moon upon the ocean  
Is swept around in motion  
But without ever knowing  
The reason for its flowing  
In motion on the ocean  
The moon still keeps on moving  
The waves still keep on waving  
And I still keep on going _

Sherlock's hand was still running through her hair as he sang.

_You go there you're gone forever  
I go there I'll lose my way  
If we stay here we're not together  
Anywhere is _

Sherlock stopped with a gentle smile. "Enya," he said. "Works well, used to get Atlas off to sleep all the time when she was little. It works for Rosie too, most kids." 

John gave him a little smile and moved to leave the room but a hand on his knee stopped him.

"Can we stay? Just another five minutes?" Sherlock asked, looking at the clock which was blinking 3:17am. The urgency in his eyes must've pulled John back because he sat back down and rested a hand on Sherlock's knee. "I don't want to leave yet, the last time she was panicked and we left her alone...well...you know..." His fingers pulled back the head of dark curls that were so like her own.

"She had a heart attack," John said as he leaned against Sherlock. "Christ, it's weird to say those words aloud in referral to a sixteen year old girl." Sherlock mumbled something in agreement. He watched as her chest rose and fell slowly and Sherlock looked like he was going to cry.

"She just...just...she looks so small to be sixteen. She's so little." Sherlock said, looking to John quietly. 

"That's because she's your baby, Sherlock," John said with a smile, rubbing his shoulder. "She'll always be our baby, our little girl. And I've always thought that children look small whilst they sleep. Vulnerable and I think for Atlas, her guard is up so much of the time, even when she was being cradled against you. No, I think the true moment of vulnerability, in anyone, is in sleep."

"Careful there, John, your starting sound like me," Sherlock smiled before he kissed his husband lightly and affectionately. 

"This is the life I never thought I'd be able to achieve," John said as he looked up at his husband with a gentle smile. 

"I didn't think I'd ever love someone that way, you taught me the opposite, you taught me I can," Sherlock smiled. "You taught me to be everything I am." 

"You taught me too, and so did Rosie and Atlas and Sammy has taught me so much aswell," John said with a bright smile. "Now, I think our lovely eldest daughter will be alright. Shall we head to bed, love?" 

Sherlock heaved a sigh, retracted his hand and got to his feet. Slowly, he leaned down and pecked a kiss on her forehead before resting his nose against it and slowly getting to his feet. Moving away he watched as John did the same before joining him, flicking the switch and shutting the door.

"Will they get better, John?" Sherlock asked as he flopped himself onto the bed and looked at John who was climbing underneath. 

"What?" John asked. "The nightmares?" Sherlock nodded. "It depends how well the therapy works." 

"Oh," Sherlock frowned. 

"Hey, love, remember none of this will ever be your fault," John said hopping onto the bed. "We both know how deep rooted the trauma is for her, she'll likely have it for a while. And she has recent trauma too. The poison won't have helped." Slipping under the covers, Sherlock followed, resting his head on John's chest, sniffing. "Alright, love." 

And soon they both found themselves asleep.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THE following morning, John whistled his way around the house, out his room and then stopped. Coming from the music landing, the sounds of two cellists and two violinists playing an original quartet creation of 'Scilienne'. Sammy appeared behind him, messy haired and yawning before Rosie did too. Together, the three of them walked to the music landing to see, running clockwise, Eurus, Atlas, Sherlock and Mycroft, the latter man's back to the trio, cello in hand. 

The piece of music was stunning and beautiful in ways John couldn't explain as Atlas' fingers touched the base of the cellos neck, fingers tremoring to create a vibrato. 

When it finished it was to eager applause. 

"You've come along, Ida," Mycroft smiled. "Now, I feel as though we should initiate an official lesson, before you proceed to have a violin one with your father and Eurus." 

Atlas nodded. 

"But not before breakfast," Mycroft smiled before the four of them got to their feet. Swooping up Rosie she giggled. "Now, Rosamund, me and Aunty Eurus brought croissants with us from the bakery. Would you care for one?" 

"Yes please Uncle Myc," Rosie giggled as he made his way down the stairs and the rest followed excluding Eurus and Sammy. 

"I paint," Eurus said after they looked at each other for some time.

"I know, uh, Atlas told me," Sammy grinned. 

"I painted something for you," Eurus said before she went to the side of the sofa and pulled out a square shaped painting wrapped in brown paper. 

"Oh, uhh, thank you," Sammy smiled before he took a seat on the sofa and tore the paper from the picture. Inside, was a painting of his mum and his sister and his dad on a picnic blanket in a garden of luscious green grass with wild flowers and bees and the blanket was covered in cakes. The sky was as blue as the flowers in the scene. He felt himself swallow around a lump in his throat as he watched tears fall on to the picture. "Thank you, Eurus."

"You don't ever have to forget them. But we're your family now and we will always be here for you and we will _always_ love you." Eurus smiled before she looked up and met eyes with Atlas who had come back up the set of stairs. She was shuffling foot to foot. 

"How'd you get the photos?" Sammy asked silently.

"Someone sent them to me," Eurus smirked. "I do take comissions you know."

Sammy spotted Atlas then and looking up he got to his feet and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"I love you, Sam," Atlas smiled. 

"I love you too," Sammy whispered before John could be heard calling from downstairs.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

XERXES appeared at the doorstep that afternoon with May. Beckoned in, he entered before Sherlock pointed up the stairs and they went, finding Atlas' room where Sammy and her were sitting on the bed. He knocked before entering with a smile, Atlas' eyes lighting up before she slung her arms around Xerxes' shoulders. 

"How are you?" He signed with a smile.

"Very well," Atlas grinned.

"We hope the impromptu visit isn't unwelcome," May said and signed whilst Atlas shook her head. 

"Of course not," Atlas signed and said in return. "Of course not." 

"I missed you guys," Atlas signed before there was another knock at the door and all their heads turned. It was John.

"Do you all want some food? Cookies? Rosie?" John signed.

"Needs a little bit of work, papa," Atlas said and signed before John rolled his eyes.

"What did I say?" He signed.

"I'll teach you," Atlas said and signed. "But thank you, can May and Xerxes stay for tea?"

"If it's alright with their parents?" John haphazardly signed.

"Should be," May said. 

"Yeah, I'll speak to my mum, thank you," Xerxes signed before John nodded and left. "Your dad's didn't have to learn sign language for me."

"They like to make everyone feel included, papa still needs some work but my dad already knew sign language," Atlas smiled as she signed, Xerxes returning the smile. "Always has."

"And you learnt it from your aunt," Xerxes signed to Sammy who nodded. "And you learnt it from Sammy like Atlas, but Atlas could watch three YouTube videos and know how to speak it." He looked at her. "You polyglot." 

Atlas giggled before she looked around them all. "Anyone want to watch those next few episodes of Glee?" She signed and spoke with a smile. 

"Yeah," Sammy signed with a grin. "In here on your laptop though, Rosie's about and she's too little." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

ROSIE appeared a few minutes later with a smile and a plate full of cookies. 

"Papa said to bring them, sorry Xerxes, I can't sign," Rosie said as Sammy translated. 

"Don't worry, I'm sure your sister and brother will teach you," Xerxes signed, Sammy speaking as the dark haired boy signed. 

Rosie nodded. "Daddy says you need to take Red out." 

"Okay," Atlas signed and spoke with a smile. "We'll eat, finish this episode then head out. Do you want to come?" 

Rosie nodded. "Am I allowed?" 

"Of course you can come with us, Rosie," May smiled at her. Atlas pulling Rosie into her side as the young girl nodded.

"In fact, do you want to sit with us?" Xerxes signed, Sammy speaking. "We can stop watching Glee and just chat." 

"Okay," Rosie squeaked with a nod for Xerxes, before she hopped into Atlas' lap, leaning against her. 

"So Rosie," May signed and spoke. "What's your favourite animal?" 

Rosie however, got to her feet and whispered in Sammy's ear. "How do you say whale?" Rosie asked in his ear, her hands cupped over it. Sammy showed her, before the little girl did it to Xerxes which she then received a round of applause, or rather hands shaking in the air. She bowed before plopping down in Sammy's lap, munching on a home made cookie.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"Right, you lot," John said as they came down the stairs, Sammy signing to Xerxes. "Thanks Sam, looks like we're being joined by Jo, Harry, Eurus, Mycroft, Grandad and Grandma for tea tonight."

"Grandma!" Rosie squealed excitedly. 

"Yes, grandma is coming," John smiled as he looked over to Sherlock who was wiping down the counter. "Now, May, Xerxes. Considering we're all heading off to Scotland soon, would you two like to stay over tonight?" 

"Can we?" Xerxes signed enthusiastically. "I'll have to check with my mum but it's supposed to be a full house tonight so I don't think she'll mind." Sammy repeated what he'd said out loud.

"Of course," Sherlock signed. "Your both welcome any time, except when we're away, obviously. Now, outside you go, one of your parents can drop off your belongings later this evening."

"Thank you," They all signed before they left.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

ROSIE gripped at Atlas' hand as they made their way along the pavement.

"Alright, Ro?" Atlas asked as Rosie nodded and they headed for the park. 

Xerxes tapped Rosie's shoulder. "Your very pretty, Rosie. And is this Jeff, who you keep mentioning?" 

"Sam?" Rosie asked, looking at the boy. "What did he say?" Sammy translated everything. 

"Thank you," Rosie said and signed before Xerxes gave her a thumbs up. Soon enough they reached the park and Rosie ran to one of the football posts with Redbeard.

"Can I steal you sister?" May signed and Atlas and Sammy both giggled. 

"I love her too much to give her up," Atlas signed. 

"I do too," Sammy signed aswell. "I love her so much it makes my heart ache and I love our parents."

"Your parents?" May asked.

"Yes," Sammy signed. " _Our_ parents." 

Xerxes slung an arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug before everyone joined it and they had a group hug. 

"At! At! At!" Rosie screamed, running back with the dog. "I saw a bumblybee again and a wabbit!"

"Wow!" Atlas signed and spoke as Rosie nodded with a giggle and reached out her hand to Atlas as she took it. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

XERXES mother was blue eyed, dark skinned and dark haired as she was beckoned on. 

"Sign?" Sherlock asked as the lady came in. 

"No, Xerxes is the only one whose deaf," His mother smiled. "Lucy." 

"Sherlock," He smiled at her offering a hand which she took. "And this is my husband."

"John," John said producing a hand which she took with a smile. "Would you like some tea? The kids are all out walking the dog and they took our youngest, Rosie, out with them too." 

"Ah yes," Lucy smiled. "Xerxes had mentioned something about Atlas having a younger sister, can I sit?"

"Please," Sherlock said offering a seat for her at the table. "Tea? Coffee?"

"Do you have any herbal tea?" Lucy asked with a grin and Sherlock nodded. 

"We do but not a great variety, but we do have fresh mint in the garden if you'd like some fresh mint tea?" Sherlock smiled.

"That would be very nice, thank you," Lucy smiled before Sherlock disappeared outside and John was left smiling at her. 

"What do you work as?" He asked as he came to sit at the table opposite her. 

"I'm a speech therapist," She smiled and John smiled back. "I work mainly with young children who have just developed a little stutter or struggle with f's and th's."

"That's nice," John smiled as Sherlock came in with the mint and dropped it into two mugs and brought them to the table. "Thank you, love." 

"Thank you," Lucy smiled as she clamped her hands around the mug. "How is Atlas?" 

"Well," John smiled. "Getting better. It's learning how to deal with it all that I think she's finding difficult." 

"It is FND right?" Lucy smiled quietly. 

"It is," Sherlock nodded as he sipped at his cup of milky tea. 

"If she ever has any speech problems, I'll be happy to take her on, if I can." Lucy said with a light in her blue eyes.

"Thank you," Sherlock smiled. 

"And Sammy?" Lucy asked with a frown.

"Is surprisingly alright," Sherlock said as he looked to John. "We're just trying to do our best but he was a part of our family before his sister's diagnosis." 

"It must be hard on him," Lucy smiled and Sherlock just nodded. "But you seem to be doing right by him and he seemed to be happy in that video Xerxes sent me of him playing the trumpet." 

"Oh yes, I wanted to ask you something," Sherlock smiled. "Xerxes, is he completely deaf or?"

"99%." Lucy smiled. "He plays the double bass as its the only register he can hear and because he can feel the vibrations. Your kids and May put his love back into it. There's a video of them all, I don't know if you've seen it, when they were planning to make a YouTube channel for their music."

"What does May play?" John asked.

"Drums and a bit of bass but I believe she tends to be the main lyricist. I don't think May and Xerxes are in music for the long run but I think you two have some very talented musicians on your hands." Lucy smiled as Sherlock nodded, looked at John and linked with his hand. "Anyway," She produced her phone, found the video and hit play. There they could see May, standing with her mint green bass guitar, Sammy with an electro-acoustic guitar and Atlas sat by the piano. And over, near the side of the room they could see Xerxes, his hands placed on the amp as they began to play. The video stopped shortly after as May realised she'd played the wrong chord sequence and it ended in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. 

Sherlock smiled before picking up John's tea, sipping it with a nose scrunch, peering at it with his blue eyes intently and trying it again. He looked at John with a frown before putting back the older man's tea and collecting his own. 

"Not a fan of that?" John asked with a smirk and Sherlock shook his head. Giving a little laugh, John, put a hand to Sherlock's back and rubbed with his thumb. 

"You two suit each other, you know," Lucy smiled at the two men who slowly nodded back.

"Thank you," John smiled and Sherlock looked at him then back over to Lucy. 

The doorbell rang at that point and John got to his feet to answer it and when he did, in came May's mum with a smile. 

"Hello, come in," John grinned as he let her through and she came in with a bag for May. She took a seat next to Lucy with a smile and offered a hand to Sherlock.

"Ruth," She smiled as she shook his sturdy grip.

"Sherlock," He smiled back. "And my husband, John." 

"Nice to meet you," John smiled as she nodded. "Would you like any tea?" 

"Ooh, whatever your all having seems nice," Ruth grinned and John looked at Sherlock.

"Your the best mint picker there is," John smiled at Sherlock who got to his feet.

"I do not understand how you enjoy that stuff," Sherlock huffed as he slid the door open and exited. "Man, it's raining!" He exclaimed. "John Hamish Watson-Holmes, it's a good job I love you so much." He paused as he emerged, just a little soaked. "And a good job I love our daughter so much to be polite to her friends parents."

"It's much appreciated," Lucy smiled and Sherlock smiled back as he slid the mug of fresh mint tea infront of her. He nodded. "How have they been...about Abayomi?" 

"I don't think they've had a chance to grieve yet," John said. "She didn't have a funeral, the search for bodies at the site of the crash is ongoing. We've been clear that they can speak to us, especially with the whole cannibalism suspicions in the news." His hand rubbed Sherlock's knee under the table.

"We feel for our own kids, yes," Ruth smiled. "But Sammy and Atlas, they were Aba's friends first. She loved them and they loved her. I can still remember May's face the day she found out...the just, sheer sadness in her eyes." 

John just nodded before he gave a little cough, time for a change of subject. "What do you work as Ruth?" John smiled to Ruth who seemed quieter.

"I'm an artist," Ruth smiled.

"Which medium?" Sherlock asked, suddenly intrigued. 

"Paints, oils, pastels, watercolour, whatever takes my fancy of the day. I'm working on a little sketch at the minute." Ruth smiled. "Trying to sell some paintings in my shop." She paused. "Who painted that?" She pointed at the picture of Sammy's family on a picnic blanket in a field.

"My sister," Sherlock smiled as he looked at John and back at the other side of the table. 

"She's a talent," Ruth smiled before the door went again and there was the sound of laughter, boots and the padding of dog paws. 

"Daddy!" Rosie shrieked as soon as she saw them. "Daddy!" She screeched to a stop next to Sherlock's legs. "Jeff's got a hole in him, daddy!"

"Oh dear," Sherlock exclaimed, Sammy signing in the corner. "Shall we see what we can do about that?" He paused, turned to John, took his glasses off his face and put them on before inspecting the toy. "Why don't you go with papa to the sewing box and find the right green?"

"I'll take her," Atlas smiled as May followed whilst Xerxes and Sammy held back. "Come on Ro." She smiled and led her to the cupboard under the stairs up the side of the room onto the music landing. Pulling out the box Atlas opened it and showed it to Rosie, who plucked bobbin of a dark green out and smiled. Running back over to Sherlock she handed it to him before Atlas came over with a needle and a little pair of scissors. 

"Thank you, love," Sherlock smiled before he looked at Rosie who looked like she was about to cry. "Go see papa for a hug, sweetheart." Giving a nod the young child went around and clamboured onto John's lap and leaned against him.

"Who?" She asked pointing at the two ladies at the other side of the table. 

"This is May's mum," John smiled. "And this is Xerxes' mum." 

"Oh," Rosie said.

"Who's this?" Ruth asked stretching out a finger to the green dinosaur that Sherlock was sewing, and tapping his head.

"Jeff," Rosie giggled. 

"Jeff goes everywhere," John said as Rosie nodded. "He always has and he always will." Rosie giggled. "And it's also why he needs to be washed regularly and also needs to go into surgery." John glanced over at his husband who was stitching the toy's neck up.

"Will you lot be going to prom?" Ruth asked and signed whilst Atlas sighed. 

"No," Xerxes signed, Sammy speaking aloud. "None of us like to party so we're going to have a society meeting and hang out." 

"Sounds like a plan," Ruth signed and spoke, looking over to Lucy who was grinning. 

"I must admit, I really like your dress," Lucy smiled at Atlas, Sammy signing. The dress was, infact, one she had made with Wanda and it was blue with flowers and a Peter Pan collar.

"See, I told you that you looked nice," Sherlock said as he reached the halfway point on the hole. Atlas rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I win."

"Dad," Atlas groaned before Sherlock just tilted his cheek at her and beckoned at it. To which she responded and kissed his cheek before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Love you." 

"I love you too, sweetheart," Sherlock smiled before Atlas pulled away and beckoned her friends behind the island. 

"What are you lot up to now?" John asked turning his head around to look at them.

"Baking unicorn muffins if Rosie wants to help?" Sammy signed and said, crouching infront of her and rubbing her knee. Her eyes lit up and she nodded, hopping off her papa's knee and taking Sammy's hand. Once they reached the island he lifted her up onto it and she giggled as he ruffled her hair. 

"Right," Atlas signed. "Xerxes, you and me are going to start work on the batter whilst May, Sammy and Rosie can start looking out colourings, icing and other things. Baking cases too." 

"Atlas is in charge," May signed with a giggle to which the dark haired girl smiled and began looking out the recipe book and ingredients. Xerxes weighed whilst Atlas collected the ingredients, a similar arrangement occurring on the island as Rosie put the cases in the tray. 

"What's up there?" Ruth asked pointing to the stairs.

"Would you like a tour?" John smiled.

"If your obliging?" Lucy asked, exchanging a smile with Ruth.

"That we are," Sherlock smiled as he finsihed tying off the hole and handed it to Rosie before getting to his feet. "Please, follow me." He smiled as he led them up the stairs and onto the music landing. 

"This is where, what I call, the magic happens," John smiled as his husband smiled back at him. 

"Ah, I can see this is where the music is," Lucy smiled as she nodded to the piano. 

"Some days it feels like I have a mini orchestra living with me," John smiled. 

"That sounds like a dream," Ruth smiled. "I only ever have heavy metal drums or endless guitar riffs, which in truth I love but classical is beautiful." 

"In that case," John smiled before he looked over the banister. "Atlas!" The girls head shot up. "Do you have a moment to come and play?" 

"Yeah," Atlas smiled as she came up the stairs, followed by her friends. "I'll play the cello, that way Xerxes can feel the vibrations." She signed before pulling it out the case as John pulled a seat up for her. "Dad, if we're going to give these people a show, will you play with me?" 

"Of course," Sherlock smiled before he pulled out his violin, tightened the bow before looking at her. "Bach?"

"No," Atlas smiled. "For Tommorow."

"Its not finished," Sherlock said, furrowing his brow as Atlas just stared at him. "But I suppose we can improvise, it's what we do best."

And then Sherlock began to play, Atlas joining not a moment later and it was beautiful. The way the two instruments complimented one another as Xerxes came to sit by Atlas' feet, his hand flat against the instrument. He kept his head well away from the bow to prevent an ugly accident.

And when it finished, they were all smiling, even Xerxes who had admitted he could only feel a handful of notes, and could hear none of them. The smile he shared with Atlas was bright though and when she looked away Sherlock saw the light blush spreading across her cheeks.

"How are you two managing parents evening on Thursday?" Lucy asked with a grin, signing as she went. 

"Neither of them have been in recently, but I think we were going to head in and see Mr Fraggerty and a few others," John smiled, Lucy signing in translation. 

"Makes sense," Ruth smiled back as Atlas put away her cello and stood to look at her dad.

"Dad, dad, dad," Rosie said as she came and stood on his feet gripping onto his hands, Jeff tucked into her jumper. "When are grandma and grandad coming?" 

"They'll be here soon, and guess what?" Sherlock said in a dramatic voice to Rosie, who was gripping his fingers tightly.

"Wot?" Rosie asked grinning at him with John's blue eyes. 

"They're bringing Basa Kejeree and some other things and then we're going to have a get together with May and Xerxes and-" Sherlock stopped and looked at the two women. "Would you two like to stay for tea? Your welcome to?" 

"Well, I was going to be eating alone," Lucy smiled and signed. "Everyone is off doing things tonight and Xerxes' dad is offshore." 

"I can't, I have to go pick up Lewis," Ruth smiled.

"Mum," May groaned. "It's normally just you, me and Lewis."

"Bring Lewis here," John smiled. 

"He's five," Ruth smiled. 

"So am I!" Rosie exclaimed. 

"Bring him here," John tried again.

"He's autistic," Ruth said flatly.

"So am I!" Sherlock said mimicking Rosie with a smile and everyone looked at him. Ruth looked mad, like he'd made fun of her. "What? I actually am autistic." 

"Oh," Ruth said. "So you really don't mind if I bring him by?" 

"Of course not," Atlas grinned.

"He's a fan of dogs," Ruth said, nodding to Redbeard who was sprawled across his dog bed between the piano and the instrument cases stacked against the red sofa. 

"Redbeard is a soft lump," Sammy grinned before stroking the dogs head. He looked up at Sammy, wagged his tail before flopping back down. 

"Alright," Ruth smiled. "Let's finish the tour and then it'll be time for me to go pick him up from his dad's." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN Ruth returned it was with a small ginger haired boy who was holding a blue pterodactyl to his chest. His hand was in hers as she led him into the house that smelled nice and was quiet. And when Lewis' eyes attached to the dog he made a beeline for him and hugged his neck. 

Silently after sometime, Rosie came over and sat next to him stroking the dogs head. He looked at her before back to the dog and they sat wordlessly.

"So," Ruth smiled as she stood opposite Eurus. "I have been admiring your paintings and I was wondering if you'd allow me to sell them in my art shop in Soho." 

Eurus snapped her head up at her. "Really?" 

"Of course," Ruth smiled. "You have an unbelievable talent and this sense of style that I haven't seen before." 

"I would love to," Eurus smiled as she looked at her. "Thank you." 

"Alright," Ruth said pulling a business card out her pocket. "This has my number on it, put it in your phone and send me photos of your work and I'll put some in my shop." 

"Thank you," Eurus smiled before she beckoned Mycroft over. "Can you look after it?"

"Of course," Mycroft smiled at her. "Now, Ida!" 

"Uncle Mycroft," Atlas said coming over and rolling her eyes. 

"I'm putting you in charge of something _super duper_ important," Mycroft smiled.

"What?" Atlas smiled, looking at Eurus curiously. 

"Your going to help Eurus get her pictures into Ruth's art shop," Mycroft said handing Atlas Ruth's business card.

"Okay," Atlas smiled before she looked at Mycroft with a grin.

"What're you so smiley about?" Mycroft asked with a smirk. 

"Everything," Atlas smiled. "Just...everything." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

ONCE meals had been eaten, the family departed leaving the Society, Rosie, John, Sherlock and Redbeard to enjoy an evening in.

"Say goodnight Ro," John said as she held onto his hand. She let go and ran over to the group of four who were sitting on the rug infront of the TV. 

"Goodnight," Rosie said to May before leaving over to Sammy and asking how to sign it. Once he showed her she copied it to Xerxes before hugging his neck. 

"Goodnight," Xerxes signed back once she withdrew and went over to Atlas.

"Goodnight Rosebud," Atlas whispered into her ear with a smile.

"Goodnight," Sammy said when it was his turn. "Love you."

"I love you too," Rosie said before letting go of his hand and running back over to John, latching onto his hand. "Daddy!"

"I'm coming," Sherlock said catching them up and lifting her in a whirlwind onto his hip as she giggled.

"Do you guys wanna watch Glee?" Atlas signed with a grin and the rest nodded in confirmation. Jumping onto the sofa, Atlas opened Netflix. Switching on subtitles they began to watch it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Little Holmes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This really is only a place to store works. 
> 
> But if your reading, enjoy!

"PANCAKES!" John hollered before he heard thumping footsteps descend the stairs. 

"My papa has a really good blueberry pancake recipe," Atlas smiled at Xerxes as she signed and spoke. 

"Your papa is awesome, where can I buy one?" Xerxes signed with a laugh. 

"You can't, he's one of a kind," Sherlock signed before kissing John's cheek as he wafted him away. "Love you," he whispered in the older man's ear. 

"Hey," Xerxes signed to Atlas again. "Didn't you have an operation?" 

"Yeah, I forgot about that. Does it hurt?" May asked and signed. 

"Yes," Atlas admitted speaking and signing. "Not all the time but bio oil works wonders. Did good on my scar from when I was shot that one time." She paused. "Sometimes I find myself having to lie on my right side because it hurts or when I catch a train or bus I have to sit on a certain side so I don't hurt myself." 

John looked up at her with a sad smile which Atlas returned. Xerxes, May and Sammy sat as Rosie joined them and Sherlock brought a plate with a stack over. Before Atlas came over with a huge smile towards him. 

"Alright, papa?" Atlas grinned. 

"Just proud of you, sweetheart," John smiled as his hand creeped around her shoulder and squeezed it. She rested her temple against his.

"I love you papi," Atlas smiled.

"Aww, you just called me papi," John smiled.

"Well, you are," Atlas giggled before she just hugged him close.

"Right, go eat," John said before he watched her go with a smile and sit down with her friends and siblings, engaged in conversation. 

"You look sad," Sherlock came over and hugged the man to his side. 

"I'm not," John said adamantly.

"You are," Sherlock said.

"Just," John began. "She's been through so much and she never stops smiling, ever." 

"I know," Sherlock said. "But it's who she is and I'm also incredibly proud of her too."

"Our children are all so brave," John said with a smile as Sammy looked over with a grin. 

"I can't believe that Sammy's still standing," Sherlock muttered and John smiled at him. 

"None of us can," John smiled. "They're all amazing."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THAT afternoon once the friends had left, it was just the five of them, all getting ready to pack before they headed for Scotland in three days. Sammy was sat on the bed with a frown looking at his suitcase blankly when John knocked. 

"Alright?" John smiled at Sammy who frowned even further as he scrutinised the empty case. Closing the door behind him, John came over to sit on his bed. Sammy's eyes remained fixed on the hard suitcase which was sitting open on the floor. 

"Your family," Sammy started, scuffing his stocking foot on the carpet. "They won't mind me being there? Right?" 

"Of course not," John sighed as Sammy continued to scuff his foot. 

"Just Atlas was telling me about the time she first met John Senior and I'm worried that the rest of your family won't like me because I'm so openly gay and fully plan on taking makeup," Sammy said quickly before John put a hand to his shoulder gently.

"Then it's not your problem but theirs," John smiled. "You do what makes you happy and if any of them, _any of them_ say or do something that makes you uncomfortable or upset, come to me or Sherlock." 

"I just," Sammy started. "I really like wearing makeup and pink two piece suits and stuff and I'm comfortable as a guy but everybody is always watching me but its who I am."

John put an arm around the teens shoulders. "Its who you are and that's okay. That's wonderful infact." Sammy's head dropped onto John's shoulder gently as he shut his eyes and gave a quiet whimper, which should have saddned John. But it didn't. It inspired him, the boy inspired him and it warmed him. The thought that this young boy was so, undoubtedly brave to be able to go through what he went through and still be standing was amazing. "Alright, your okay."

Sammy let out another sob before putting his arms around John and shaking in his grasp. 

"It's alright, it is what it is," John said into the blonde curls on top of the boys hair. 

"My aunt wants me," Sammy sobbed, John's head snapping back. "My aunt wants to take me. I told her no. I want to stay here with Atlas and Rosie and Sherlock and you and Redbeard and Mou. She keeps ringing me and I keep telling her we've settled it with child services and she won't leave me alone." 

"Breathe, just breathe," John whispered into Sammy's hair. "I know it's hard, Lord do I know." 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sammy muttered repetitively. 

"Okay, I'm here. I'm always going to be here for you," John smiled. "I love you." 

"I," he gasped. "Love...you...too. I can't...breathe." John moved from where he held the boy and kneeled infront of him. 

"Take a deep breath," John said to him. "In and out, in and out. Here," John said grabbing the teens hand as he placed it over his own chest. "Feel me breathing."

"John," Sammy rasped.

"Don't speak, just try to breathe. I'm here." 

But Sammy's gaze was directed at the door where a pair of dark blue eyes were peering around the door. 

"Sam," Rosie squeaked as she slipped in and shut the door. "Take Jeff. He always makes me happy when I'm sad." She shoved him against Sammy's chest and he felt himself warm. The effect was immediate and the boy's breathing slowed, John rubbing the boy's knee under his thumb. 

"Alright?" John asked but Sammy just shook his head. "Okay, shall we go downstairs and watch a film?" 

"Where's Atlas and Sherlock?" Sammy asked, looking at his feet, rubbing two fingers under his eyes. 

"In the lab," John smiled.

"Okay," Sammy whispered. 

"We were supposed to be at parents evening tonight but I think me and Sherlock are going to stay here, we can have a family night in," John smiled before Sammy nodded warily before John rose to his feet, pulling the teen up with him. 

"Okay," Sammy whispered before he walked into the older man's embrace after handing Rosie Jeff back. "You and Sherlock are my dads too you know."

"We know, Sam," John smiled into his cheek before planting a kiss against his temple. 

"Instead of watching a movie, can we take Red out for a walk?" Sammy asked looking at John who smiled and nodded back.

"Course we can," John smiled. "We can go try to pull Atlas and Sherlock out the lab and go to that forest they went walking in and then we'll make a curry order and pick some up on the way home."

Going downstairs they made their way to the lab before knocking on it, entering they saw Atlas peering through a microscope with her dad peering over her head, a hand on her shoulder. 

"It's for the wrong strand!" Atlas shrieked before she whizzed away from him and began pouring over the books that Sherlock had laid out. 

"Ahem," John said with a smile as the two pairs of blue eyes shot up to look at him. "Dog walk?" 

"We could do with a break," Sherlock smiled as Atlas glared at him. 

"We're nearly finished," Atlas groaned, looking at him.

"No," Sherlock said to her sternly but she glared at him. "We've been out for hours." He said coming around the edge of the bench. "And you need some fresh air, so, come on. We'll come back to it later." 

Atlas rolled her eyes before getting to her feet and removing her lab coat and goggles, hanging them up and putting them in the cubby below. 

"Alright?" John asked as Atlas came over and she nodded.

"We were just getting close," Atlas pouted.

"We will come back to it," Sherlock grinned. "Yeah?" 

"Alright, yeah," Atlas sighed before they left the lab and went into the kitchen. "I just want to get it all done before we leave." 

"We know," John said as he rubbed her shoulder, the rest of the family pulling on their walking boots. "But you work too hard and stress too much and the fresh air will do you good." John smirked prodding at her to walk forward to the door. "Rosie, have you got Jeff?"

"Yes!" Rosie shrieked as she held the toy aloft. 

"Dog lead?" 

"Yup!" Sammy said holding it up before Atlas sulkingly bumped shoulders with him as they walked to the car.

Sherlock opened the boot and the dog jumped in, wagging his tail excitedly. "Right, come on then." Sherlock smiled before hopping into the passenger seat, the rest of the family following and hopping in. Pulling off the drive, John put on the radio and they all watched the city pass them by. 

Turning down the radio Sherlock looked to John and then to their children. "Are we all looking forward to going away soon?" 

"Yep!" Rosie giggled holding up Jeff. 

"I am too," Sammy smiled before Atlas grumbled in agreement. 

"You seem less enthusiastic about it, Atlas," John said and Atlas just shot him a glare in the wing mirror.

"Oh, um, Sherlock?" Sammy said. "The solicitor wants to see me again tommorow and I need you to come. It's in the morning."

"Yeah, I'll come. Rosie is seeing May's little brother tommorow morning for two hours and we need some shopping for sandwiches while we travel," Sherlock said with a smile, looking back at them. 

"Okay, thank you," Sammy smiled. "You know, you don't have to do this. I know its a lot."

"Hey," Atlas said flicking a hand against him. "We don't mind." And she rested her head against his shoulder. "We love you. I love you." 

"I love you too," Sammy said back, straight faced.

"What she said," Sherlock smiled back to him. 

Pulling in to the forest they all hopped out of the car, opened the boot and began walking along the forest track. Sammy and Atlas hanging near the back.

"Are you alright, sis?" Sammy asked, looking at Atlas with a little smile. 

"Yeah...just what if papa's family don't like me?" Atlas asked quietly, looking at Sammy. "They'll like _you._ Because well...your you and I'm me...I'm...I'm..."

"A wonderful, amazing, kind person," Sammy said wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

"No I'm not. They're going to hate me because no-one ever likes me and they'll probably say things and they'll probably say something about papa not being my papa but he is and-"

"Atlas," Sammy said stopping where they were going and pulling her to face them. "Just breathe. Don't worry about that. I'll be here and dad and papa and Rosie and Jeff and Redbeard and you know that Jo and Harry would defend you too." 

"I'm just really scared Sam," Atlas whispered as he put his hands either side of her face. 

"I know," Sammy said. "And I know it's easy for me to say this but they'll love you as much as we do."

"But what...what if I have a seizure?" Atlas whispered. "They'll think I'm weird."

"Atlas," Sammy whispered looking at her gently before pulling her to his chest. "I'll kick their asses." 

"Thank you," Atlas smiled before she pulled away and they began walking again. Their parents and sister just dots against the canvas of the sky. 

When they got halfway along the walk they stopped and, opening his rucksack, Sherlock produced a flask of hot water and a water bottle which he offered to Rosie. She took it before drinking some and handing it along to Sammy who smiled at her. 

"Atlas? Sammy?" John said after having exchanged several strands of incoherent muttering with his husband. "Would you two like a hot drink?"

"No," Atlas smiled. "I'm fine, thank you papa." 

"Sam?" 

"No, I'm alright. Thank you." Sammy grinned before he hopped onto the verge next to Atlas who was still pouting and obviously thinking. 

"Atlas," Sherlock started from where he was sat next to Atlas. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" 

"Yes," Atlas replied sharply before he just glared at her and giving up she leaned against him.

"What's up?" Sherlock said, burying a nose to her hair.

"Papa?" Atlas called to the man in question.

"Yes?" John smiled.

"Plug your ears," Atlas frowned before she began. "What if papa's family don't like me?"

"That's never bothered you before," Sherlock frowned. 

"Dad," Atlas complained. "Its just, what if they don't? Then I've ruined it for everyone and papa and-and myself and I don't want-"

"Atlas," Sammy tried but she just glared at him.

"I don't want to ruin it because we're going to have fun and-and-and it'll be nice-"

"Atlas," Rosie also tried.

"But what will they say about me because I'm not easy and I make your lives difficult. Will they make you put me ba-"

"Never." John said finally before he came round and stood in the ditch opposite her. "Atlas, never. That would never happen and will never happen." 

"But-"

"No but's," John scolded, glaring at her. "No but's, alright? Since when did it matter if people did or didn't like you?" 

"Papa," Atlas complained. "Can we see Martha tonight? Can she come for tea? I really miss her." 

"Will that stop you grumping?" John smirked.

"Now, can't promise that," Atlas smiled back before he put his arms around her shoulders, and leaning forward pulled her into his arms. 

"I love you," John said to her and she grinned against his chest.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"YOO HOO!" Mrs Hudson said, stepping into the warm home which greeted her with the heat off of the fire. Shrugging her coat off a herd of elephants began to descend the stairs and when she turned around to face the noise, she saw Sammy, Atlas and Rosie standing in age order, grinning at her. "Oh my dears, look at you!"

She walked over to Sammy with her arms outstretched and she put her hands on his cheek. 

"Look how you've grown! I swear, Samuel, you've grown at least another foot!" Martha smiled.

"No, pretty sure I only have just the two," Sammy grinned before she pulled him into a hug. 

"Hope your alright?" 

"Great," Sammy smiled before Martha moved over to Atlas.

"Oh Atlas," Mrs Hudson said pulling Atlas into her arms. "Oh, its so lovely to see you well and smiling and-"

"Thank you," Atlas said when the woman found herself lost for words. "I love you."

"I love you too," Martha grinned. 

"And Rosie, my darling," Mrs Hudson said, bending down to her. "Your wearing your bow."

"I always wear my bow, nana," Rosie grinned before Mrs Hudson smiled at her. 

"Where are your dads?" 

"Getting the food," Atlas smiled. "We just needed to lay the table which we've done and greet you." 

Martha smiled before the three of them led her into the open space and they all sat on various items of furniture, each of them smiling. The warmth from the circular stove was flowing through them and Mrs Hudson sparked up conversation, Redbeard settling at her feet.

The door creaked open around about ten minutes later and they could hear both men laughing.

"Well, that is true," John could be heard saying before they entered the kitchen, putting the bags of takeout onto the cabinets. 

"Oh," Mrs Hudson smiled as she clapped her hands together and got to her feet. "Boys, my boys!"

"Mrs Hudson," Sherlock said with a smile coming over and putting his arms around her. 

"Oh, Sherlock," Martha grinned rubbing his back. "I'm going to miss you."

"We'll facetime you everyday," John called from where he was wiping his hands on a tea towel. He was grinning at her.

"My other boy!" Mrs Hudson smiled bustling over to John before clamping her hands either side of his face and kissing each of his cheeks in turn.

"Hello," John grinned before he hugged her tightly. "We got you balti, hope that's alright?"

"Oh you know me so well," Mrs Hudson laughed before they all took a seat at the table. 

"Right, that's for Sam," John said handing it along the table. 

"Thank you!" 

"Atlas."

"Thanks papa."

"Rosebud."

"Thanks.

"Mrs H."

"Thank you."

"Sherlock."

"Thanks."

"And me." 

"Enjoy!" Sherlock cheered as he came over with some wine. "Martha?" 

"Go on then," Mrs Hudson grinned.

"Not driving, Mrs H?" 

"No, no, someone is coming to pick me up," Mrs Hudson said.

"You've met someone!" Atlas exclaimed round a mouthful of rice and curry. 

"I may have done," Mrs Hudson said looking at her with a grin. 

"Your absolutely smitten too!" Atlas giggled.

"Maybe. Anyway, are you all looking forward to going up north?" 

"All the way!" Rosie exclaimed as she divided out the coloured rice on her plate.

"Not quite all the way, sweetheart," Sherlock smiled at her. "Now come on, eat your curry before it gets cold." 

"Chilly curry?" Rosie asked, looking at him wide eyed.

"Cold curry isn't very nice, not nice at all," Sherlock said to her before Rosie started to eat away again.

"How are you Sam?" Martha asked smiling at her. 

"I'm good," Sammy smiled. "I'm actually really good. I'm happy and this is a pretty good life at the moment."

"Which will all shatter when you turn eighteen," Atlas smirked looking at him, Sammy laughing. 

"Well," Sammy smiled before he ate some more. "In conclusion, Mrs H, I'm very content and very good. Thank you. How have you been?" 

"Well, Atlas?" Mrs Hudson grinned.

"Good," Atlas smiled. "I'm good too."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

AFTER the meal, the group settled infront of the fire with wine. Rosie, curled up against the dog on the floor, Mou coming to settle near them. 

"Ah, I haven't seen Mou yet," Mrs Hudson remarked from where she was sat in an armchair next to Sherlock who was sat in another one. Sammy, Atlas and John huddled up on the sofa. "She's got such pretty fur." She watched the fluffy white and black cat with blue eyes settle on the floor, the white mustache disappearing as she stuck her face into the back of Redbeard. 

"She's outside most of the time," Sherlock remarked with a smile. "She comes in on evenings and such like, for food. Lovely temperament though." 

"It's quite funny 'cause Ro picks her up and carries her around by her armpits and she doesn't seem to care, just purrs," Sammy smiled. "Oh, the simplicity of animal life."

"True," Sherlock chuckled with a smile before he looked to Mrs Hudson. "The new house settling well?" 

"Perfectly, and I'm living with Sarah so that's nice," Mrs Hudson grinned.

"I'm sorry who?" Sherlock asked abruptly.

"Oh Sherlock," Mrs Hudson chided with a grin. "Sarah is my friend and we decided to get a little cottage in Surrey."

"Surrey!?" Sherlock exclaimed. 

"Yes," Mrs Hudson chuckled. "Jem has settled in too."

"Does Sarah have a cat?" Atlas asked, tilting her head.

"No she doesn't, you monkey," Mrs Hudson smiled before Atlas jumped up and kissed her cheek. 

"I'm glad, it's common post menopause. It's easier. You haven't met someone, you've just met your friend for the rest of your life."

"Oh, your so like your father Atlas," Mrs Hudson smiled before as Atlas moved away, she patted at Sherlock's hand with a smile. He smiled back at her before Mou came over and jumped up onto his lap, his hand going to her fur. However, she didn't settle and instead she walked on the side table before going over to Mrs Hudson and settling in her lap. "Oh, your so soft. How old is she?"

"About seven or eight," Sammy grinned as Atlas put her head on his shoulder, his head resting against her crown. 

"Look at that," Mrs Hudson smiled after some time as she nodded to the pair of them sat on the sofa. 

"Papa," Rosie whispered as she came over and climbed into his lap. 

"Alright, lovebug?" John asked, stroking the loose hair out of her eyes. 

"I want a hug," Rosie whispered before she leaned forward and rested her cheek against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her protectively as he had done so, so many times in his life from the day she was born. 

"Sherlock," John said looking at his husband. "I never asked, did you know you were having a little girl?"

"What? When Atlas was born?" Sherlock asked with a smile.

"Yes, yeah," John nodded.

"No, uh, no, Mary-Anne said she didn't want to know because we were going to get rid of the baby and I couldn't argue against her. To be honest, I think it's one of life's last mysteries, one you have to wait to find out. I didn't want to know and at least I knew I was going to give the baby the second name Atlas regardless of sex." Sherlock smiled as John smiled at him.

"It's a lovely name. Ida Atlas Elizabeth Watson-Holmes." Mrs Hudson smiled.

"I think so too," John smiled as he looked over to Atlas who was sitting to his right.

"Double barrel, check me," Atlas smiled before Sammy giggled too. 

"What's your full name, Sammy?" Mrs Hudson asked as Sammy blinked open his eyes. 

"Samuel Alexander Walters," Sammy grinned. 

"Ah, Mycroft has Alexander in his name too right?" Martha smiled, Sherlock nodding.

"Oh, that reminds me," John said with a smile, picking Rosie up and plopping her down on the sofa before he disappeared upstairs. 

"What's he doing?" Atlas asked with a smirk before Sherlock shook his head and shrugged.

"I found these," John said returning. "Sherlock must have kept them hidden." Within his hands he had a box filled with CD's. "And they all have Atlas' name on them."

"They were experiments," Sherlock said as he offered a hand and took the box from John whose brow was furrowed. He cradled them against his stomach and looked at them. "I made a compilation though...of the best bits..." His hand carefully went inside of the box and rooting through it a bit he came across the CD he wanted. Pulling it out he handed it to John who got up and went around to the other seating area and opening the CD player. The rest of the family including Mrs Hudson moved away to the other side and sat infront of the TV, both Redbeard and Mou following. 

"Before you start it," Sherlock whispered. "You should know that it's...well yeah...some of it might be a little difficult to watch." 

"Will Rosie be alright?" John asked, furrowijg his brow.

"Rosie needs bed, let me put her to bed and then we can watch it," Sherlock said picking up Rosie who was already falling asleep. "Say goodnight Ro." 

"Goodnight nana," Rosie said running over and kissing her cheek before kissing Atlas, Sammy and John as well. 

"Come on then, Little Watson," Sherlock smiled before she grabbed his hand.

He came downstairs a while later and sitting down on the sofa they hit play on the video, Atlas leaning against Mrs Hudson on the two seater sofa.

The first video showed Sherlock holding a baby with a head of dark hair over his shoulder patting her back. The room behind them was lit up by outside street lights and John could see Sherlock's chair, a desk with a similar layout to that of 221B but in reverse. Big windows looking onto the street. Sherlock was doing the steps around the room to the Scottish waltz and in the background you could hear a recording of a violin. 

_"It's alright, Atlas," Sherlock whispered as he carried her little form around the room. She gurgled something and when he came over to the camera he showed her to it._

_"Look, your not going to remember this, any of this. Some of me is thankful for that but I want to remember this too. This is your life, Atlas, and it's not going to be easy but then again it never is. Basically, know I love you yeah?" He showed a baby Atlas to the camera and all the viewers could see she was very newborn, premature. His baby. "Always will."_

The camera then stopped and a screen came up with a date and several details about Atlas and her growth. 

_Sherlock held a screeching child to his chest who can't have been more than a few months old. The dark curls were nestled into his neck as we walked around the room._

_"She's not going to hurt you, cause I'm not going to let her. You hear me?" Sherlock was whispering. "You hear me? I know your scared but your ok, I'm okay." Then the child could be heard incoherently babbling about something. Then Sherlock's face looked at the camera and there was a black eye and split lip. Atlas looked unharmed but still unhappy as he pulled her to his chest. But she pulled away to look at camera with the brightest blue eyes, her face streaked with tears. She held up Whisper and pushed him against Sherlock's face, babbling._

_"Dada, dada," Atlas could be seen saying. "Whisp, whi."_

_"Yes, that's whisper. Look after him, he'll be there when you need him," Sherlock said smiling at her. "Your ok."_

The screen showed another date and information and it suggested that they were about to see Atlas at about one and three quarters. 

_"We're home now," Sherlock could be heard saying as he walked into shot with a child in his arms._

_"Dada," the child whimpered._

_"Oh, sweetheart," Sherlock smiled. "What am I going to do with you?"_

_"Daddy, stay?" Little Atlas asked, looking up at him with these huge bright blue eyes._

_"Daddy's staying," Sherlock could be heard whispering. "Daddy's staying right here sweetheart, right here."_

_"Dada," Atlas said again._

_"Now, your not going to know what I'm going to say but you had a seizure and that's why we haven't been home in ages. We've been in the hospital and mummy hasn't been around."_

_"I don't like mummy. Don't like." Atlas said resting her head against his chest. "Daddy."_

_"Will keep you safe," Sherlock smiled. "Always."_

The screen flickered again to show more information before the footage began again. Everyone's eyes, yet again, transfixed.

_Atlas was tottering her way around the room whilst clattering could be heard. The curious eyes with Whisper clutched between her fingers, lingered on the camera before she began to toddle towards it. Her fingers outstretched as she walked._

_"What are we up to little miss Holmes?" Sherlock could be heard saying as he appeared into shot before disappearing as Atlss put her face right up to the camera._

_"Dada," Atlas said looking back at him. "Daddy."_

_"I'm coming," Sherlock said before leaning infront of the camera and poking at it too._

_"Wot?" Atlas asked pointing at it._

_"Its a camera sweetheart," Sherlock grinned._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I want to record your life to show to you," Sherlock said. "Because it matters to me." He put a hand on top of her hair and ruffled gently._

_"Why?"_

_"Because your my daughter._

_"And I love you?" Atlas asked looking up at him._

_"Exactly," Sherlock grinned, bumping his nose against hers in an eskimo kiss._

John paused it and looked at the screen before looking over to Atlas and flickering his eyes between her and her father, who had a shine of tears over his eyes. Getting up from Mrs Hudson, Atlas sat down between her parents, Sammy getting up to sit with Hudders before Atlas hugged against her dad.

"I love you," Atlas whispered against his chest. 

"I love you too, sweetheart," Sherlock said back before John hit play again.

_Atlas and Sherlock stood looking at each other, violins to their chins and Atlas can't have been more than four years old. There you saw Sherlock teaching his young daughter his craft, bows in hand._

_"And what string is this one?" Sherlock asked kindly, pointing to the highest sounding string._

_"Eh," Atlas exclaimed._

_"Good girl. This one?" Sherlock asked pointing to the lowest._

_"g," Atlas giggled._

_"Good girl," Sherlock praised again. "Now, can you remember this one?"_

_"d?" Atlas asked._

_"No, that ones ah," Sherlock smiled._

_"Oh," Atlas said before putting down her violin, Sherlock copying her movements before her bottom lip wobbled._

_"Hey, hey," Sherlock said putting his hands either side of her face. "It's alright Atlas."_

_"Dad," The child said quietly._

_"I'm here," Sherlock said. "Look at me, its okay. Your allowed to get things wrong."_

_"My head hurts," Atlas whispered, Sherlock looking at her kindly._

_"I know," Sherlock whispered back. "Are you-"_

And then the recording stopped.

"There's more, of her a little older but I think that's enough for one night," Sherlock said hoarsely, the remote control held in his hand fiercely.

"What happened at the end of that dad?" Atlas asked looking up at him. 

"Take a guess," Sherlock said as a tear fell from his eye. "My fault really, I forgot about your-your me-medic-ine."

"Dad," Atlas said sharply before hugging him tightly. "Its not." Sammy came over and joined the hug, Sherlock thankful for the bodies to hide in as tears fell from his eyes. "Dad."

Sherlock choked out a little sob to which he received a rubbed shoulder from John and a rubbed arm from Martha. 

"Oh Sherlock," Mrs Hudson whispered. "You raised a wonderful daughter and are continuing to do so. Its not your fault."

"It is," Sherlock said. 

"Sherlock," John tried. "Sherlock, listen to us. They're not your fault."

"They are," Sherlock whispered.

"We'll go to bed," Atlas said before kissing both her parents on the cheek, smiling at her dad before leaving. Sammy doing similar.

"I'll leave soon," Mrs Hudson frowned before she kissed his cheek. "Sherlock, you listen to me. This is not your fault. We love you all so much so don't be so sad."

Sherlock gave a hiccup his breathing speeding up and Mrs Hudson frowning. 

"Hey, hey," John whispered. "Hey, Sherlock." 

"Sherlock," Mrs Hudson whispered. "Oh Sherlock, your alright."

He let out a shaky sob. "Sherlock," John said quietly. "Take a deep breath." 

"John," Sherlock whispered. 

"I'm here, love," John whispered back before Mrs Hudson nodded and John and took her leave. 

"John," Sherlock said again before he looked at him, the older man still sitting beside him. "I failed her, I failed her. I failed you. I didn't mean to. I promise I didn't mean to."

"Sherlock," John said softly, looking at the sad blue eyes staring up at him. "C'mere." He outstretched his arms for Sherlock to fall into and he did so, tentatively at first, but soon enough he was melting into his husband's embrace. With Sherlock's head just under his chin, John kissed his temple and kept his nose in his hair. "You didn't fail her, you didn't fail me and you haven't failed us. Your ok. I love you. Your ok."

"I love you too," Sherlock whispered back, looking up at John. "No walking away?"

"No walking away, I promise," John said putting a hand to the younger man's cheek. "No walking away."

"I love you," Sherlock said again through his sobs, still desperately clutching at John's t-shirt.

"I love you back, too, more," John said in reply, squeezing the detective closer. "Just breathe."

"Those days were the best days and as you can tell, there were never very many," Sherlock whispered.

"But she remembered more. She loves you Sherlock," John whispered.

"John," Sherlock sniffed into his partners chest. "John."


	4. You Always Cry When I Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bed wetting and seizure.
> 
> You've been warned.

"ATLAS!?" John called out into the house, frowning when he didn't hear her reply. He remembered the last time. And getting slightly worked up, he made his way up the stairs. "Sweetheart?" 

"I'm in here," Atlas said as she called from the bathroom. The door unlocked and she stood and looked at him, before stepping back and picking up her toothbrush. Slowly, she began to brush her teeth, aware that he was watching her but when she finished she frowned. Her knuckles gripped the edge of the sink and she looked at her papa wide eyed. 

"You've gone awful pale," John said with a furrowed brow and then Atlas shook her head and looked at him. 

She took slow steps past him, into her bedroom and then she looked at him again as he followed her.

"Sweetheart, is something wrong?" And then her knees began to buckle and her eyes roll. "Christ, okay, okay." Lurching forward he attempted to catch her as she fell to the floor. Luckily, he caught her, head not making contact with the floor, her body sagging against him. She was now sitting, unconcious against his legs. With as much strength as he could muster he pulled her up onto her bed and lay her down. And in good timing as her arms came up and shook against her chest. Her entire body began to convulse brutally, her head back and neck straining. Soon, her hands were down next to her sides, clenching and un-clenching fists next to her thighs. "Oh, love." 

Collecting some tissue, John came back over and kneeled down near her. She wasn't dribbling but shaking violently, her hair going everywhere. 

"John?" Sherlock said, coming up the stairs quietly. He walked along the hallway and poked his head in the door, his eyes going wide.

"She's not been going long," John smiled softly a she moved away the blankets and anything that could put her in a tangle.

"Okay," Sherlock said as he came and kneeled, Sammy turning up in the doorway.

"Aren't you supposed to be seeing Mrs Thomson?" John asked, looking up at him.

"I can't afford it," Sammy said with a shrug. "Nevermind." 

"She's slowing," John said as her body began to slow before she stopped, her eyes opening after a moment. And then her eyes went wide in horror and she looked at Sherlock.

"Dad," Atlas whispered looking at him. And he knew that look, the fear in her eyes that seemed to come off her in waves. A fear that Sherlock hadn't seen in years. _Years._ "Can everyone leave?" 

"Okay," Sherlock said before he nodded to John and Sammy in turn. John looked at her before they all began to move away, John nodding to his husband.

"Dad," Atlas said around the lump in her throat. "Dad, don't be mad at me." He shook his head.

"I'm not mad sweetheart, I know," Sherlock whispered to her.

"I've wet myself," Atlas whispered, staring at him. 

"Oh sweetheart," Sherlock said with a small smile. "I'm not mad, go take a shower and I'll change your bedding." He reached out a hand and rubbed her cheek as he helped her to a sitting position. "Don't be embarrassed, okay?" He paused. "And don't worry about it." 

Atlas' head stuttered a nod as she got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom, collecting towels from the airing cupboard. Hopping in the shower she felt the need to cry and so, under the loud combined hum of the shower and the extractor fan, she did. Where no-one could hear, no-one could see and no-one would be able to tell.

Sherlock removed his blazer and slung it over the arm of her chair before beginning to pull away the duvet. A full change of bedding would be necessary so everything could match and a change of duvet, he noted, would also be required. Collecting all the dirty sheets and duvet he began to descend the stairs and he stopped at the foot. Next to the stairs was a little crevice, where, they had a washer, dryer, iron and ironing board that all fit perfectly. (Entirely thanks to Sherlock's meticulous measuring skills, but not thanks to his blatant disregard for anything slightly humane as he had overlooked the need for such items completely.) Opening the door to the washing machine, he tossed the bedding in before setting it to wash and just as he was about to get up from his squatting position he felt eyes on him.

"What's going on, Sherlock?" John insisted before Sherlock shook his head.

"I can't tell you," Sherlock said. 

"She wet herself, didn't she? Completely normal when people have seizures, especially women and young people." John said Sherlock rolling his eyes and nodding. 

"I have to go finish changing her bedding," Sherlock muttered before John put an arm on his bicep, holding him in place. 

"Let me help," John said and Sherlock shook his head. "I'm different to her mother."

"I know," Sherlock said, a smile threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth. "I know." But then he frowned and shook his head. "Just, not now." 

"Sherlock," John tried as the younger man brushed past him. "Sherlock." He tried again as he disappeared up the stairs, a mass of dark curls slowly disappearing. 

In Atlas' room, Sherlock collected his daughter a comfortable pair of trousers, a long sleeved t-shirt, underwear and a cardigan and placed them neatly outside the bathroom door. The shower had turned off and so, he knocked lightly. "There's some clothes outside the door for you." 

"Thank you," Atlas returned before she could be heard moving about. "I..." There was a pause in her voice. "I just started my period whilst I was in the shower, luckily for us all, and could you...maybe...please...get me...?" 

"Course I can, sweetheart," Sherlock said before returning to her room and in about two seconds flat deduced where she kept her sanitary products and collected one, placing it on top of her clothing. "It's just outside the door."

"Okay," Atlas said. "Yeah, thank you." 

Once he had moved away he heard the door click open and close again. He began to clean the mattress, it would need some time to air before they flipped it.

"Here," John said quietly from the door. "Your going to need this." He said holding up a spray bottle to his partner. "50/50 vinegar water solution and a little bit of detergent, and baking powder." He produced the tub of rising agent in his other hand.

"Thank you," Sherlock said as he took it from him.

"I'll...uhh..." John said as he stepped back. "I'll...yeah..." The man turned away and walked down the hallway. 

"John," Sherlock smiled. "I love you." 

"I love you too," John said in return. 

Sherlock went back to work and blotted at the stain before getting the vinegar and applying it. It would be 10-15 minutes till he could but the powder on.

And then he felt a presence. At the door.

"Atlas?" He said swivelling and there she was, at the door, looking at the floor. And he felt awful. And sad. 

"I'm really sorry, dad," Atlas whispered before he went over to her.

"Hey, hey, none of that," Sherlock said, pulling her to his chest and kissing her hair softly. "It's part of the process."

"I know," Atlas sighed, sagging against him. "I just hate it." 

"Oh sweetheart," Sherlock said rubbing at her back. "Go take a seat in your chair, I have to put baking powder on it soon." 

"Okay," She whispered before getting to her feet and making her way over to her chair. She tucked her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her arms. Sherlock nodded at her before shaking baking powder over the stain, picking up a few items he'd thrown off the bed. "Where's papa?" 

"Downstairs," Sherlock said.

"Oh," Atlas said quietly. 

"Do you want him?" Sherlock asked with a small smile, Atlas just nodded, her eyes welling up in tears. 

"John!" Sherlock called downstairs after exiting her room and then he saw the mans head appear. "Come on." 

"Papa," Atlas said as he came in, her chest heaving.

"I'm here, love," John said, coming over to her and kneeling infront of her, hands on her knees, rubbing with his thumb. "Just breathe." 

"Papa," Atlas whispered again through ragged breath.

"Right here, sweetheart," John smiled as he put a hand to her cheek. 

"Papa," Atlas whispered yet again looking at him. John got to his feet before pulling her to his stomach, her temple against his abdomen. "Papa." 

"I'm here," John whispered again, bending to meet his nose with her hair. "Just breathe. In and out. In and out."

"Papa," Atlas whispered.

"It's alright, love," John said quietly.

"I'm really sorry," Atlas whimpered, John rubbing her cheek with his thumb and kissing her hair again.

"Hey," John said quietly. "Listen to me, you cannot control this." She gave a little sob at that. "I know it's hard, I know. But we're here." John said, his eyes meeting with Sherlock's who had just finished laying out the baking powder. Sammy popping in the door, coming round to kneel by John's feet.

"Papa," Atlas said quietly squeezing her eyes shut.

Sherlock kneeled infront of her and put his hands on her knees, rubbing with his thumbs. 

"Dad," Atlas whispered, Sherlock looking at her. 

"Sweetheart," Sherlock grinned at her. "I have never been mad at you when things like this have happened. I never was. And I never will be. And not only for this. Me and papa, no matter what it is will always be able to help. Both of you," Sherlock put a hand to Sammy's knee too. "Now I know we go away in two days and you'd probably rather you were packing and getting ready, but anything. Truly, anything, from if your somewhere and your drunk and you need picking up, if your in trouble. If you just need to talk, either of us or both of us, will come and see you. Okay?" 

Atlas and Sammy nodded in sync. "And Atlas, if this happens again when you have moved away and you need us, or even for a different reason, don't be ashamed to call us. Alright?" 

"Yeah," Atlas whispered before she smiled quietly. 

"Alright," Sherlock said. "This has to sit a while before I can hoover it off, but we missed Gogglebox last night, shall we go catch it on ITV Player?"

"Yeah," Sammy smiled as Atlas nodded before they all got to their feet. Sherlock and Sammy led the way as Atlas looked at John. He rubbed her shoulder. 

"You look glum," John said as she looked at him.

"I am," Atlas whispered.

"Oh, sweetheart," John said with a little laugh. "Don't worry about it."

"But I'm not five," Atlas whispered again. 

"Your still a child, your only sixteen and these seizures and tremors are not things you have any control over," John said rubbing her arm. "You are a wonderful, beautiful person and don't let this put you down."

"Papa," Atlas said looking at him. "You always know just what to say." 

"I'm glad," John laughed.

"Does it get better?" She asked as they walked over to the door.

"What?" 

"PTSD."

"Not always. It differs from person to person. Is that something else that's troubling you?" 

"Don't sound so poetic about it papa," Atlas scowled.

"Alright," He said pulling her to his chest. "You need anything you can speak to us, we love you." 

"I love you too," Atlas sighed into him. "Let's go watch Gogglebox." 

John nodded before they descended the stairs together. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"RIGHT, me, Sam and Rosie have to head out again this afternoon, Rosie's seeing Lewis and Sam and I have to go see his aunt," Sherlock said as they finished gogglebox. 

"Alright," John said before Atlas just looked at the blank TV screen. "You guys go, I think me and Atlas might go out for a little walk in a bit."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

LATER, once everyone had left, John frowned at Atlas from the breakfast bar. The girl was sat looking at the breakfast bar surface, her lips downturned.

"What's up sweetheart?" John asked, throwing his tea towel over his shoulder and resting his elbows on the bar.

"Dad," Atlas whispered. "He was crying most of last night wasn't he?"

"He was, yes," John said before Atlas nodded. 

"It was my fault, I should have told him we didn't need to watch the video-"

"Stop," John said. "Alright? You made him realise how much he is loved and you gave him love in those earlier years. You filled his life with so much joy and you continue to do so." He came around to stand next to her, a hand resting on her back. "Now I can't pretend to know the things you went through, but I can tell you that I do know that your dad loves you so very much...and I know you love him too. Last night was a good reminder to hold onto those little good things."

"Since when did you become the philosophical one? I thought that was reserved for Aunt Harry," Atlas said back. "And Aunt Eurus." 

"Well, seems they're rubbing off on me," John smiled as Atlas looked up at him, tears in her eyes. She sniffed a little before looking down again. "Love." 

"Its just, yes I'm a cause for his happiness but I'm a cause for his pain too. He told me he's had nightmares about me dying aswell and I just...I don't..." 

"Atlas," John said softly before he pulled the crown of her head to his lips. "Its alright." 

"Papa?" Atlas whispered.

"Yeah?" John asked gently, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome, sweetheart. Now, would a walk with Redbeard turn my little girl's frown into a smile?" John said before he pulled away and brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. 

"Yeah," Atlas smiled. "Your like the best."

"I know I am," John smiled at her before frowning as she looked away. "Alright?" 

"Yeah, I want to go out, I'm just thinking, that's all," Atlas said before getting to her feet and looking at him. "Hug?"

"Of course," John smiled before pulling her into his arms. She rested her chin on his shoulder. 

"Papa?"

"Yes?"

"Can we go to...um..." Atlas said. "Umm...the graveyard?"

"Yeah," John said as he pulled away and held her arms. "You wanting to see your mum's grave?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Atlas said looking at the floor. "Just once...I just...I found this photo in the bottom of the box...of her and she's like smiling..." She looked up at John. "At me and she's happy and I think...no..." She had tears in her eyes. "I know...I need to apologise to her."

"Okay," John smiled. "I'll pick up some flowers and see Mary." 

"Oh," Atlas said quietly looking at him. "Okay, I'll give you lots of hugs." 

"Much appreciated, but times have changed and passed and I love your dad so, so much that it doesn't hurt to see her anymore," John said before he put his hand to her cheek. "And in time, that will happen for you."

"What if it already has? I have you and dad, I have two parents," Atlas smiled.

"But there's something different between mother and daughter," John said with a quirk of the eyebrow.

"But my mother was a bitch, I know nothing different and I have always been much closer to my dad," Atlas said with a smile. 

"You should have seen Mary with Rosie though, its different," John said.

"Papa," Atlas frowned. "I should know and I'm telling you now, I don't need a mum your my mum and my dad. You make me so happy and loved and I just-" She paused. "Your crying, you always cry when I speak."

"Well, yes," John smiled, wiping a tear that fell from his eye. "Always where your concerned because just like your father, every word, every sentence you say is beautiful." 

"And that, papa, is because your my dad," Atlas smiled. "Dad's cry at everything there daughter's do but do you know something else?" She paused thoughtfully. "So do mum's."

"There you go setting me off again," John laughed as he wiped away some tears. 

"Now, would walking Red make my papa's frown turn into a smile?" Atlas giggled.

"He always does," John said smiling as he glanced to the dog who was wagging his tail and turning in circles at the door. "Walk?"

And the dog just looked at him as if he were stupid.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"OUR daughter has finally gone to sleep," Sherlock huffed. 

"You were gone a while," John said as he held up the book with one hand and used the other to rub Sherlock's back as he pulled off his shirt. "Sherlock, it's nearly two AM!" He exclaimed as he finally looked at the clock.

"Well, after cleaning the bed, me and Atlas had what can only be called a long needed chat and now I feel dead," Sherlock said before dramatically flopping backwards, his head landing in John's lap. 

"Alright?" John smiled, rubbing his hands through Sherlock's hair. 

"I need to get changed," Sherlock laughed, getting up suddenly, shrugging the remainder of his clothing and pulling on a pair of pyjama trousers and a t-shirt. "She was upset, like I've never seen her before." 

"She's going to be upset for a while but going to Scotland, that'll be a bit of a drag away. She has lots to make her sad." John said before Sherlock disappeared into their en suite. 

"Well, the chat we had was good and I think we've agreed...finally...that we love each other and that we forgive and...what was it she said?" Sherlock said between brushes of his teeth. "Oh yeah, forget. I don't know. Anyway...John? John!?"

"I'm still listening, love," John said loudly, his face pointed to the door of the bathroom where he could just about see Sherlock in the mirror. 

"I tidied her bed up for her and it was good, yeah..." Sherlock smiled before he exited the bathroom. "What is it they call it?" He paused. "I feel...lighter."

"Yeah?" John asked as Sherlock slipped beneath the covers and nestled into the older man's side. 

"Yeah," Sherlock nodded before he pulled John's arm away from holding the book and held it to his chest, the older man's hand encapsulated within his. "I'm in love with you, John."

"Good job," John smirked as he put down his book. "Cause I married you and 'cause I'm in love with you too." He wiggled his fingers and with a grin in Sherlock's hands as the younger man stretched and put his feet against John's shin. "God, Sherlock! Your feet are bloody freezing!" And in reaction, the older man pulled his legs away. 

"John," Sherlock whined. "Come back." The younger man paused as he looked up at John in the light. "I sounded like a five year old there."

"Enviable of Rosie," John giggled as he looked down at his husband. He smiled at him before planting a kiss on his lips. 

"John," Sherlock said again looking at him. "I'm happy."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah, look at us. With children and pets and it's all so great..." Sherlock was grinning and bright eyed before his face all fell and he suddenly looked deep in thought. 

"Sherlock? Have I lost you there?" John asked rubbing his shoulder and looking down at him, pushing up his glasses with his fingers. 

"I don't want to loose it," Sherlock whispered, slowly shutting his eyes. 

"Hey, hey, Sherlock," John whispered. "Who says your going to loose it?"

"I do, I always do because I say something stupid and I loose it, I loose it all," Sherlock said before he rested his temple against John's chest, his cold nose bumping against the older man. 

"And I won't let that happen to you again," John said as he heard Sherlock sob. "No more of that, okay? I'm here now and we, _we_ are not loosing it. Infact, right now, right now we make a pact, that we don't walk away. Okay? We don't walk away from a fight with each other or our kids or just our family in general."

"That doesn't stop it because what happens when I push you too far? Or Atlas wants to leave or Sammy or Rosie or-or it all comes crumbling because my enemy finds me?" Sherlock rattles, sitting up to look at John fiercely.

"Sherlock, breathe," John chided with a smile. "It's okay. Stop panicking alright? I'm here to help you, okay?" John's face soon fell however as he attempted to soothe Sherlock. "Sherlock, look at me. Sherlock, will you look at me?" He lifted up his hand and wiggled his finger that held his wedding band. "What's this?"

Sherlock looked at John's chest, mouth parted slightly. 

"What is it Sherlock?" John asked again. 

"You wedding ring," Sherlock whispered.

"And so? What does that mean Sherlock?" 

"That your my husband."

"No, what does it mean, Sherlock?" 

"That you love me."

"And?"

"That this is a partnership." 

"Exactly, anything you loose, I loose...Anything I loose you loose. And I'm not going to let us loose anything." John said, his hands holding Sherlock's face. "Just relax." 

"John," Sherlock whispered, a sob concealed by breath.

"It's alright Sherlock," John smiled. "It's going to be alright."

"But-"

"Sherlock," John said roughly. "Do you trust me?"

There was a long drawn out pause. "Yes."

"Then trust me on this then, I'm not leaving and I won't let our kids either. They _adore_ you Sherlock." John smiled down at him, stroking through his hair. 

_He didn't deserve this beautiful man._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the relaxation of muscles post seizure, someone wetting themselves is an occurrence that is normal.
> 
> Hope you stick around.


	5. Rosie's Germaniums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

"INSTRUMENTS," Sherlock said, clapping his hands together. "Line up, by the car in five minutes. John?...John?" 

"I'm here love," John said, poking his head from behind the kitchen counter. 

"Will you bring my fiddle? Everyone else is responsible for their own items to be packed," Sherlock announced as he looked at Sammy, Rosie and Atlas lined up on the sofa infront of him in that order. "I'll be at the car."

"Alright," Sherlock smiled before he turned on his heel, his coat flouncing behind him as he headed for the door. 

One by one, they made their way outside, Rosie bringing up the back. 

"One fiddle," John smiled as he handed Sherlock his case and the man smiled. "Don't get too stressed out if it doesn't all fit, alright love?"

"Luggage in the roof box, rucksacks and instruments in the boot held down with cable ties and a section for Redbeard," Sherlock muttered, arms over his chest before John pulled him down into a kiss with a smile. "I love you."

"Love you too," John smiled before he grinned at him and took a few steps back, Sammy stepping forward. 

"You got picks?" Sherlock asked Sammy as he took the hard case with the guitar inside. 

"A few inside and then me and Atlas were making up a little bag of picks and roisin and my capo," Sammy smiled before Sherlock smiled back and nodded. Turning back he ruffled the boy's hair and he skipped over to John with a huge grin. 

"Atlas," Sherlock said as his daughter stepped forward and handed him her fiddle. "Duets." 

"Of course. And, we'll be in Scotland where our instrument is at its best. We'll come up with some of the best music we can. Shall I take us some manuscript?" She asked with a grin.

"Already packed some," Sherlock smiled before Atlas walked forward to him and clamped her arms around him. "Alright." And when she moved away Sherlock gave a warm smile. "Miss Rosie Watson-Holmes, what have you got there?"

"A twiangle!" Rosie screeched holding it aloft. Her eyes bright and Sherlock smiling. 

"I'm not sure we have any space," Sherlock smirked.

"Dada! Daddy! Pwease? Pwweeeaaasseee?" Rosie grinned holding them up.

"Alright," Sherlock smiled before squatting down to her height. "As long as you promise to play it at the right times?" He put a hand to her face and brushed the hair out of her face. She nodded before he stood to full height and put the triangle in.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"ATLAS," Sammy said just before they went inside. 

"Yeah, Sam?" Atlas smiled looking back at him.

"I want to go see Aba. The news has gone mad over the search in the mountains, and i just, I'm scared and I want to hang out with my bestie," Sammy smiled, slinging his arm around her shoulder, grinning at her. "I'll drive us over to the other side of the city."

"Sam," Atlas whispered to him. "I do miss her you know. I don't know how to show it, I just...I don't know." 

"I know," Sammy smiled looking at her with a kindness in his eyes. "We'll tell them that we'll go, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Atlas grinned at him. "I haven't been to see her since I went into hospital." Her face fell fast and she just stared at him quietly. 

"Yeah, I know," Sammy smiled. "We won't go for long because we leave tommorow...finally."

"Excited?" 

"Very. That and, it's about time Georgia, my mum and dad all get put where they need to go," Sammy smiled.

"Oh, Sam," Atlas said, smiling sadly. "We will always remember them."

"Yep," Sammy smiled. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THE Hill was quiet when they went up and it was nice. The little lump in the ground that cast a view onto the city still had a memorial dedicated to all of the Aduba family who lost their lives that fateful place crash. As they made their way to the memorial she heard Sam sniff and wrapping an arm around his waist, she pulled him to her.

"Its alright, Sam," Atlas soothed as he rubbed at his eyes and took a shaky inward breath. 

"Atlas?" A voice asked and the teens head shot up unbelievably fast. 

"Dr Aduba?" She asked with a smile as the man smiled back. 

"You two are looking well," He smiled. "And please, call me George. I feel like we're past those formalities now."

"Understood," Atlas smiled.

"Taking both medications?" He asked with a grin. 

"Yes and the GP has put me on digoxin alongside the seizure medication and the tremors. The seizure medication has been helping with the pain and I kept your advise about upping the dosage if the pain is extreme and I have those other back up meds for that that my papa has in liquid form and tablet form," Atlas smiled.

"Good," Thomas smiled before he gestured to the memorial.

"Heading for Scotland, tommorow," Sam smiled before he looked at Atlas. "Worrying about the reports coming out of the search and rescue teams and praying, just praying that she died peacefully. But we know...that that probably didn't happen."

"Unfortunately," George said with a sad smile. "Its certainly unlikely. But, you two, you stay strong yeah? Depending what happens me and my wife have plans to do a funeral for them all of which both of you and your dads will be invited to." 

"Thank you," Sammy said quietly.

"No problem, you were her best friends. And also, condolences Sam. I heard about your family," George smiled.

"Yes, yeah. Thank you," Sammy said with a gentle smile. 

"Well, we best be off," Atlas said with a smile. "Nice to see you again."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"ARE you packed yet, love?" John asked knocking and entering Atlas' room to see her sprawled on her bed and a half packed suitcase on the floor. Her mouth was partially open, eyes shut whilst Sammy was perched on her window seat reading a book.

"I'm packed, she's not. We were just chatting and then she just sorta lay back in the middle of conversation, still chatting and promptly fell asleep," Sammy giggled from where he was huddled under a blanket. "Thought I'd leave her to it since she and Sherlock never do sleep enough." 

"You were right to," John smiled as he came over and sat by the boy's feet. "Do you know what else she was going to pack?" 

"All that stuff laid out, I didn't know if I should pack it. She's really particular about it...well, you know about the school lunches," Sammy smiled.

"I do," John smiled back. "I'll get Sherlock in to pack it for her, she could be out until tommorow morning." 

"Okay," Sammy nodded before looking back at his book. "Alright?" 

"Yeah, fine, fine," John sighed. "Knackered but a good night's sleep and then we'll be ready to go. I've also extended our time in Edinburgh to two full days, three nights. Atlas has to go to a grave there with her dad and then we were thinking about taking Rosie to th Castle and something about a Harry Potter shop," John laughed as he looked at her.

"Yeah, it's on a rainbow street. Now that we have a second day...I mean...is it possible that me and Atlas can go on our own little tour. She probably has a map of Edinburgh in her mind palace," Sammy giggled as he looked up at John. "Where's Sherlock?"

"Haircut," John laughed.

"Haircut?" Atlas moaned from the bed sitting up with her hair all over the place, face frowning before she smiled. "Dad hasn't had a haircut in agessss."

"I know," John laughed. "He likes it at that length but I don't know what he's getting." 

"I do," Sammy chirped. "But I'm not telling you." 

When Sherlock finally made his way through the door, tea being made by John. Some vegetable curry by the smell of it. Sammy and Atlas were laying the table and putting out the drinks, Rosie helping John add in the final few spices. She was stood on a chair, looking into the pot, John's hand resting lightly on the little girl's back. 

"Sherlock," Sammy said suddenly, turning his head with a smile as the man came in. The man's hair was curly on top, short at the back and sides almost similar to Sammy's if the boy's were not changing to a head of messy blonde curls. 

"Dad, you look just like you did when I was little," Atlas grinned walking over and hugging him. He gave a grin and kissed the crown if her head. 

John's eyes kept looking at the pan before he finally looked up.

"Oh Sherlock," John said with a small smile. 

"Daddy, daddy," Rosie squealed clamouring off the stool and running over. He lifted her up as she plunged her little hands into his remaining curls.

"Hello, love," Sherlock grinned before he put her down. "You don't like it." He said to John, his face falling. "It'll grow back, I promise, it'll grow back." 

"No, Sherlock, I think it suits you," John smiled as he walked towards him, hands on his waist. "It makes you look lovely." And then, he whispered into the kiss. "Hot." 

"I'm glad you like it," Sherlock smiled before Rosie's hand was leading him to show him the curry that she had _made all by herself!_ "It smells beautiful Ro." 

"Alright, let papa serve it little miss," Sherlock said lifting her up and carrying her over to the table. She jumped into her usual seating place next to Atlas whilst Sammy hopped onto his seat opposite Atlas, next to Sherlock. John usually sat at the head of the table between Sherlock and Rosie. 

"Alright," John said, sitting down to eat. "Atlas and Sam, it would be appreciated if you two would get a good night's sleep. It's 7 hours driving tommorow of which me and Sherlock are taking turns."

"That's a long time driving, Papa," Atlas said quietly.

"Yep, but early doors remember. We're leaving at about 7 in the morning so make sure your all up and ready," Sherlock smiled.

"Yeah, okay," Atlas sighed. "Shit-"

"Language," John scolded.

"I haven't finished my packing yet," Atlas said with a smirk. 

"I'll come give you a hand after tea," Sherlock smiled, nodding at her as she nodded in return. 

"This is really good, Ro," Atlas smiled down at her. 

"Thank you, At," Rosie smiled as she ate some more.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"WHAT'S wrong John?" Sherlock asked as he made his way into the bathroom and leaned against the counter. Hands perched on the sides. John's face was etched in an unfamiliar worry as his hands were poised over his stomach. 

"Sherlock," John said quietly, looking at him and back to his reflection in the mirror. "Am I...? Am I fat?" When Sherlock didn't reply John's hands pulled at his t-shirt. "I am fat. I'm overweight. Obese even. What are they going to think, Sherlock? What...?" He swallowed as Sherlock's hand slipped into his before he found himself looking up at Sherlock again, the taller man's arms wrapped around John's waist.

"They're not going to think anything," Sherlock comforted, kissing John's neck. "Your beautiful."

"Sherlock," John said with tears in his eyes.

"John," Sherlock started. "I don't care if your overweight or underweight or whatever. You are beautiful, John and I love you." John was still facing the mirror, hands still attached to his stomach. 

"John," Sherlock started. "It's alright. If you want to loose weight I'll support that but you don't have to worry about it either. It's alright."

John let out a little sob.

"Have I done something wr-" Sherlock started but stopped when he found he had John standing there in his arms. And he waited.

"I was bullied," John whispered as Sherlock kissed his head and then his cheek on top.

"Mhm," Sherlock hummed.

"Because I was overweight as a teenager. They called me ugly and disgusting and..." John stopped there because he couldn't continue. "My family used to take the mick out of me aswell." 

"John," Sherlock whispered. "I'll never do that and besides, what was it Rosie called you the other day?"

"Comfortable," John mumbled.

"Exactly, and I can testify. And you smell nice which Atlas also agrees and you are nice to hug which Sammy says. Your good for advice, you light up the entire room, your kind, your generous, you look after people..." Sherlock stopped. "Truly, my list goes on." 

John laughed at that before sniffing again before going to the sink and washing his face. However, Sherlock wasn't finished and wrapped his arms around John's chest and pressed his chest against his back. 

"What's up Sherl?" John asked looking at him in the mirror.

"Your beautiful, John," Sherlock said resting his chin on John's shoulder. "Don't let these things get you down. You are wonderful. You are everything to me."

"Thank you, Sherlock, for making me smile," John said quietly leaning back against Sherlock, his hair kissed by the cupids bow and he smiled. The reflection smiling back.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THE following morning, Atlas got up promptly at 5:30am, wandering through the house to get a shower. As she made her way down the hall a little she caught sight of someone moving, just at the music landing. Cautiously but without fear she walked across to find her dad sitting pensively on the coffee table. 

"Alright?" She asked walking towards him and sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, fine," Sherlock muttered. 

"Your stressed, dad," Atlas said quietly, looking up at him. "That's alright. Your allowed to be stressed." 

"Papa's up aswell," Sherlock moaned. "I'm ready to go, slept well last night but papa..."

"Papa what?" Atlas asked putting an arm around his back and leaning her temple against his shoulder. 

"Papa thinks that he's fat. And overweight and that people are going to joke and make fun of him," Sherlock whispered, Atlas rubbing her nose against his shoulder. 

"But he's not. He's papa," Atlas whispered. "Anyway, I need a shower."

"Okay," Sherlock said before she just about skipped away into the hallway and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Right, I've made sure to put all the medication into the one place. The bag in your rucksack," John said, fussing about when he came upstairs. "Do you think we need to take Atlas some extra of her medication? I've measured out exact and then some but I mean the emergency stuff...for the pain...?"

"I think that sounds good," Sherlock smiled before John sat down next to him on the coffee table.

"I've got the heart meds, seizure and pain and then the tremors. That's the main three and then the other emergency stuff. Ive-"

"Stop. Relax," Sherlock soothed.

"I just don't want to forget because its important. Then again, we can always take her prescription with us," John smiled. 

"We'll do that, John," Sherlock smiled. 

"I'm not fat," John whispered. "I'm comfortable."

"Exactly," Sherlock whispered. "Now, I was thinking of feeding our kids scrambled eggs and beans on toast." 

"To fill them?" John asked with a smile.

"Yes, I've made a pack up too," Sherlock smiled. "And yes, there's coffee in there."

"Thank you," John smiled. "Once Atlas is out the shower I'm going to pop in before Sam is up." 

"I'm excited," Sherlock said, with a grin.

"Good," John nodded. "Good."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"I SPY, with my little eye, something beginning with 'R'," Atlas said as she looked past Sammy, who was sat in the middle and over to Rosie.

"Hmmm," Rosie said quietly. "Red sign?"

"No," Atlas laughed.

"Redbeard?" Rosie asked, looking at Atlas.

"No," Atlas smiled.

"Inside or outside the car?" John asked from his position in the drivers seat. 

"Inside," Atlas smiled.

"Red fleece?" Rosie tried.

"No," Atlas giggled.

"Red rucksack?"

"No."

"Rosie," Sammy said quietly. "What about-"

"Me!?" Rosie squealed as Atlas nodded. Sherlock could be heard laughing as they continued along the road. 

"Yep," Atlas laughed back. 

"Alright, alright, my turn," Sherlock laughed. "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with G."

"Grass?!" Rosie asked enthusiastically. 

"No," Sherlock smiled. "But it is outside."

"Green grass?!" Rosie tried again before she was launched into a cackle of laughter. 

"No," Sherlock smiled. 

"Geraniums," Sammy whispered in Rosie's ear.

"Ger...ger...germania...geraniums!" Rosie squealed after many attempts.

"Yep! Well done Ro," Sherlock smiled. "Right, nap time I think." And, Sherlock slipped in an Enya CD and before long the music lulled all three young people into a sleep. 

"They were probably up late last night," John said, smiling into his rear view mirror. "Thank god, we have a moments peace." 

Sherlock laughed at that. "Are you alright today, John?" 

"Of course I'm..." He paused. "This is about last night."

"Yes," Sherlock smiled.

"Then yeah, yeah," John smiled. "You make me feel better. The kids make me feel better."

"Good," Sherlock said, pausing. "I love you."

"I love you too Sherlock."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"LUNCH stop," John found himself saying a few hours later. 

"Food!" Rosie squealed already unbuckling herself as John pulled onto a forest track and they walked over to the bench for some food. 

Atlas took a seat next to John and as Sherlock unpacked the bag, she looped her arm into his and he kissed her hair.

"Alright, sweetheart?" John asked and Atlas nodded. "Sore?"

"A little. Think it's the cold," Atlas whispered before she felt herself engulfed in a wooly blanket as the dog gathered at her feet. 

"I covered some of the luggage in the back with some blankets," Sherlock smiled before he handed one to Sam who had Rosie sitting in his lap.

"Do you need anything for it-?"

"No," Atlas mumbled before she leaned against him. "Food."

"Food," John said trying to move his arm but Atlas remained latched onto it. He took a sandwich and gave it to Atlas who took it with a nod. 

"Thank you, papa," Atlas whispered. And chewing on it, her grip on him didn't loosen, only tightened. 

"Atlas, love, what is it?" John asked when he'd finished his sandwich. "You just needing a bit of love or something?"

"Yeah," Atlas whispered. 

"You've not been having flashbacks have you?" John smiled weakly.

"No, pa," Atlas whispered. "I'm just tired of having a disorder that's not life long but will certainly come back and PTSD and heart palpitations and some of that's never going to leave me papa. I'm just tired and I like to know your there."

"Oh, thank you," John said, sounding surprised before he exchanged a worried look with Sherlock. "Did you sleep alright last night?"

"Yep," Atlas hummed before she let go of his arm and ate some more food. Perking up suddenly and starting to joke with Sammy. 

"Are we walking the dog?" Sammy asked suddenly, out of the blue.

"No, I think we'll drive a bit more before we do. And besides, he's getting a bit of a mooch here so he should be okay," John smiled as Atlas resumed her position attached to his arm. However, he shrugged her off, rolled his shoulder then put an arm around her.

When they finished they packed the car back up and Sherlock took up the position driving. 

Music on, they toddled along the road, past scenery and views as they reached the North of England. 

"So, have you ever been to Scotland Sam?" John asked, looking back at him. 

"Just Loch Ness and Glasgow. Nowhere else," Sammy smiled at him. "Where's Ro been?" 

"She hasn't been yet," John smiled.

"Wow! Ro, it's your first time going to Scotland, are you excited?" 

"Yes!" She shrieked. "And then we're meeting Aunty Harry and Jojo and Isla."

"Yep," Atlas smiled. "We're seeing Jojo." 

Sherlock giggled as Rosie grinned and clutched Jeff to her chest. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN they crossed the border Rosie squealed in the dying light, pointing out the window excitedly whilst Atlas dozed.

She missed the whole thing, not that she really cared.

"I've tried waking her," Sammy says quietly before John looks back at Atlas.

"Atlas, sweetheart, are you alright?" John asked Atlas who finally looked up, opened her eyes before shutting them and going back go sleep. 

"Ida Atlas Elizabeth Watson-Holmes, sit up," Sherlock said suddenly and Atlas sat upright like a young child being reprimanded. "Are you alright?" He asked in the wing mirror.

"I don't know...I just feel a little fuzzy and everything's tingling," Atlas said, bowing her head before Rosie placed Jeff in her lap. "Thank you Rosebud."

"Jeff makes me happy when I'm sad," Rosie smiled before Atlas handed him back and looked at her dad in the rear view mirror. His hand reached back and rubbed her knee gently. She grasped his hand momentarily, before letting go as he placed it back on the steering wheel. 

"I'm going to have a nap," Atlas said before she leaned against the window, only to have her body pulled into Sam's right side instead. Rosie leaning forward to watch him. 

"This way you don't whack your head off the window," Sammy laughed.

"Good point," Atlas smiled as she wriggled against him and shut her eyes. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

SHERLOCK found the spot to park their car easily next to the hotel. Small, several stories and dog friendly on the top most floors, he smiled to himself as he hopped out. 

"Right, we'll grab our rucksacks and the dog and head in, yeah?" Sherlock asked as Atlas nodded and got out into the dimly lit car parking block. Herself, Rosie and Sammy had squeezed all their Edinburgh stuff into one rucksack with John and Sherlock doing the same with their belongings. Collecting the dog and the little plastic bag of dog food, bowl, toys, lead and harness they began to walk to the doors. 

When they arrived in their room, they were presented with two double beds and a single.

"We can manage," Atlas grumped before she walked forward and flopped onto the double bed, Rosie flopping down beside her. Before Sammy joined them, Redbeard sniffing around the room. 

"Should I take the single?" Atlas asked poking her head up to look at her parents.

"I think it might be best," Sammy answered with a small smile. 

"Okay," Atlas frowned, as she got up and instead flopped onto the single. Then she smiled at Sam before sitting up right bolt fast. "Dad?" 

"Yes?" Sherlock asked putting down his rucksack and coming down to sit beside her, removing his shoes. 

"Can we take Sam, Rosie and Papa to that really nice pizza place run by Gordon and Beattie for tea tommorow night?" Atlas asked very quietly as Sherlock nodded. 

"I don't see why not," He smiled before putting a hand to her hair. 

"Thank you," Atlas smiled before she leaned against him and sighed. Before she shut her eyes and went quiet again. 

"I was going to pop out and see if we can get some takeaway food from the Tesco just around the corner," John smiled, as Rosie looked up at him. "Are you wanting to come with me Rosie?" 

She nodded before jumping off the bed and going to stand by the front door.

"You coming Sam?" John asked.

"No, I think I'm gonna nap," Sammy laughed as Atlas nodded.

"I'm doing the same," Atlas smiled before Sherlock got up.

"I'm gonna go too," Sherlock smiled before Atlas smiled and lay down.

Once they left Sammy and Atlas scrambled to their feet and looked out the window.

"Its beautiful, isn't it Sam?" Atlas smiled at him, before he smiled back.

"It sure is," Sam smiled. "Its truly wonderful." 

"Sam," Atlas whispered, looking at him. 

"Yeah?" He asked gently, holding her shoulder. "You okay?" 

"I think I need to lie down," Atlas smiled before she lay down right next to his feet. 

"Seizure?" Sam asked.

"Yep," Atlas mumbled before her eyes rolled and exactly that happened.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN John, Sherlock and Rosie walked in 38 minutes later, they saw the pair of them sitting on the middle double bed, watching Brave on the TV. Atlas appeared to be dozing, quite happily, whilst Sammy was sat next to her, water bottle in hand. 

John walked into view first and gave Sammy a look, to which Sammy mouthed "Seizure" and looked back at the TV.

"How long?" John whispered.

"Five seconds," Atlas grumbled from beneath the covers.

"How do you know that?" John asked with a smiled as he toed off his shoes and sat down on the bed beside her knees.

"It was twenty two seconds and little. Really little. You know those little jerky movements," Sammy smiled as John nodded quietly. 

"Yeah," John said, placing a hand to Atlas' back. "You guys ready for something to eat?"

"Yeah," Atlas groaned before she say up, looked at him, frowned then smiled and threw her arms around John's neck. "I love you."

"I love you too," John smiled. 

"You've got your cardigans out again!" Atlas exclaimed. "Hallelujah."

"What do you mean?" John laughed.

"Well, in summer you wear shirts and then in winter you wear them with cardigans which softens your features. Dad should take a leaf out of your book," Atlas smiled, before Sherlock glared at her. "But then, I do like dad's style."

"Alright," John said. "What're we eating?" Getting to his feet he handed out a plantain wrap to Atlas, then a prawn pasta to Sammy before they promptly swapped. Rosie had a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, Sherlock a pickle and cheese and John a tomato pasta. Switching off the TV Atlas began her food and grinned around a mouthful of pasta.

"Me and Sherlock were chatting," John said with a smile. "How do we fancy going out for a bit of fresh air after tea?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Atlas smiled as Sammy nodded in agreement.

"Fresh air!" Rosie squealed as she tried to feed Jeff some tuna and sweetcorn sandwich but he wasn't having any of it. "Jeff, eat up or there won't be any pudding at all." She paused. "Alright, fine I won't force you to. I'll just have your helping instead. Yes, I do love you." She brought the toy into a hug. "I promise."

"Alright, miss, sandwich," John smiled as Rosie bit into it happily and tilted her head side to side. 

"How's your wrap, love?" John asked, looking at Sam. 

"Oh! Uh, very nice. Thank you for getting it for me," Sammy smiled before he leaned against John with a smile. "Love you."

"I love you too," John smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware the title of the chapter is misspelled, this is intentional.


	6. Eddie and Gordon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is bad but hope you enjoy.

THE following morning, Atlas was standing beside an open window, letting the fresh, Edinburgh morning breeze wash over her. The dog was lying beside her feet and there was a little but of a few over the city. Without warning, a presence appeared at her shoulder, momentarily startling before relaxing. 

"Up early?" Sherlock asked, placing a hand on top of her head.

"Couldn't sleep well," Atlas frowned before looking back out across the city. "You don't suppose we could go to the grave now. Before the city wakes up. Breakfast is served till 9."

"Fair enough," Sherlock smiled before she looked at him bright eyed. "Come on. We'll take Red and save Papa from having to walk him this morning." 

"Okay," Atlas smiled before she pulled on her wooly hat, fingerless gloves, scarf and finally her coat - which was a blue version of her dads, only a little shorter. "Dad."

"Yeah, love?" 

"It feels like I'm home," Atlas said quietly. "Not that Rosewood isn't but..."

"It feels different," Sherlock agreed. "Clean."

"Clean," Atlas smiled before they quietly called the dog and left the room. 

"I was doing research," Sherlock smiled. "On...bonds."

"Between atoms or between people?" Atlas smirked as they reached the dedicated dog lift. 

"People," Sherlock whispered.

"And?"

"And what?" Sherlock asked as he pressed the button for the ground floor.

"What'd you find?" Atlas asked quietly.

"That there isn't just a mother daughter bond," Sherlock frowned. "There's a father daughter bond." 

"Duh," Atlas said as the lift began to move. 

"And depending on circumstance it can be stronger or whatever," Sherlock smiled. 

"Dad," Atlas smiled. "I have a strong bond with you because mum was a bitch."

"Fair," Sherlock smiled. 

"You were a single parent from the day I was born, dad," Atlas frowned. "Your one of my favourite people. Of course my bond with you is strong."

"Same here. I just...I guess I didn't really believe it," Sherlock said as they walked through the lobby. "I didn't really know any different."

"I get it. Its different when you don't know if it goes two ways. I just, I know I should have said I love you more," Atlas smiled. "But, I can rectify that so...I love you, dad." 

"I love you too, Ida Atlas Elizabeth Watson-Holmes," Sherlock said as they got out onto the street. "Man, that's a pretty name. Good job."

"Dad," Atlas rolled her eyes. "Mind you, grandma and grandad did a really good job with your name. William Sherlock Scott Watson-Holmes. It truly suits you and....its better than Alexander Mycroft Chad Holmes and Jessica Eurus Tiffany Holmes." 

"That I can agree with," Sherlock laughed as they walked onwards, the dog on a lead as they walked through the early morning traffic. "Fancy Salisbury Craggs? Should be able to let him off up there at this time in the morning."

"Yep," Atlas smiled before she did a little hop in excitement. "Graveyard's on the way too."

"So it is," Sherlock smiled before stopping next to an off licence. Atlas kept walking until she realised that he'd stopped, and, turning around she walked back towards him. "Here." He said producing a ten pound note. "Get some flowers and please get me a coffee."

"Alright," Atlas said before handing over the dog and stepping inside the dimly lit store. 

"Morning," The man at the checkout chirped before Atlas promptly found a bouquet of Roses which she collected before making her way over to the Costa machine at the side. Two Cappuccino's later and Atlas was walking to the checkout, and handing everything over. "Early morning today?"

"Yes," Atlas replied, looking around the shop. "It's beautiful right now. When everyone is just waking up and the air is fresh."

"I can certainly agree with that," The man smiled. "You don't...it's just...I recognise you..." 

"Oh?" Atlas smiled before she recognised him.

"Can't be! Is that you Atlas Holmes?" The man exclaimed bustling round the counter to get a proper look at her.

"Yes," Atlas startled. 

"Sorry, maybe you don't remember me. Mr Thomson," He held out a hand to her. 

"No way," Atlas laughed. "Oh, you were the best teacher."

"I was so sorry to hear about you having to go into a care home and then Foster care etc," he frowned. 

"Its quite alright. I spent nine years in there and then I found my dad again. I live with him now and his husband, my papa, my sister Rosie and my brother, Sammy," Atlas smiled before she felt a presence at her shoulder.

"Mr Holmes," Mr Thomson smiled. "Lovely to see you. You look well and haven't aged a day." 

"Thank you," Sherlock smiled, taking his hand.

"This is Mr Thomson, remember. He taught me through primary school," Atlas smiled.

"I do remember. You were the man who never insulted her intelligence," Sherlock smiled. "And for that I am grateful."

"Still violinists? And a pianist?" 

"Yes, me and dad both still play violin and I do still play piano but I also play cello, ukulele and baritone ukulele," Atlas grinned as her dad held her shoulder, rubbing firmly.

"Still got seizures?" Mr Thomson asked.

"Unfortunately," Atlas frowned. "But, we know its because of something called FND. Functional Neurological Disorder." 

"Long name," Mr Thomson frowned. "What does it cause?" 

Atlas looked tongue tied so Sherlock stepped in. "Pain, tremors, fainting, the seizures...is that about it?" 

"Yeah. But then I got PTSD..." Atlas frowned. 

"From..?"

"Care and my mother," Atlas frowned. "She was abusive towards me and my dad."

"I remember. I reported it," Mr Thomson said with a smile as Sherlock's eyes went wide and Atlas trusted her impulse to hug him tightly. Wrapping her arms around him she smiled.

"Thank you," Atlas smiled. "Thank you." She said again pulling away, she collected the flowers and handed her dad the caffeine. "It was nice to see you."

Just as they were about to leave, Sherlock stopped short.

"Dinner?" He asked turning around sharply. "Would you join us for tea tonight? At Gordon and Beattie's pizza House?" 

"If your sure?" Mr Thomson asked.

"Please, Mr Thomson. You should meet my family," Atlas smiled. "And besides, I'll tell your brother you turned down the offer to dine at his fine establishment.

"Alright, fine. And please, call me Eddie," He smiled before Atlas nodded and waved her goodbye. 

"That was nice," Atlas grinned as they walked along the pavement, the flowers and coffee in her hands. Sherlock with the dog whom he'd tied to a drainpipe throughout his chat inside. 

"It was, wasn't it?" Sherlock grinned as they made their way to the graveyard. Atlas nodded before they approached the gates to the graveyard. Taking a deep breath, she looked at her dad carefully.

"Alone?" Sherlock asked gently.

"Alone," Atlas smiled, before she took her coffee and flowers to a grave in the distance. 

Walking up to it her feet felt like lead, mind racing, heart thumping, mouth gone dry. Standing there, she felt....well lonely and suddenly she wanted her dad. This was all too much, too much to think about too much to, to, to, to cope with. How did people do this? How did people manage to visit people to love? She was halfway there and she just kept walking, mechanically, robotically. And there, James Buchannnan. The name etched on the stone as if it were yesterday. 

The stone opposite, June Willis, had greyed and gone pale but James' hadn't. It had stayed quite the same. She's stood there, by June Willis' grave at the funeral, a social worker attached to her side. And she'd sobbed and sobbed until she felt like her legs might just give way. She wanted to curl up in a ball and go home where he sat with the piano and violin and his banjo which he played the best music on. Back to the Scots ballads and now...Atlas felt like she was going to throw up. 

She placed the flowers before standing up, sharply and sighed. Her eyes stung and she could feel every piece of clothing that was sticking to her skin. All the labels, all the sweat that made it harder to escape. It was too much. It was all too much.

Meanwhile, Sherlock was stood on his phone when the dog began to pull at the lead. Aggressively, as if wanting to go after something. Phone in pocket and looking up all he saw was Atlas standing by the grave. 

It was all coming back to her now. Every moment in care, every moment with her mother, every moment spent with him and the other Foster parents. All of it. Like a movie behind her eyelids. Playing and playing and playing on repeat. Until it stopped, suddenly. On the day he died.

She found herself walking through the long hallway before stumbling across him in his rocking chair, blanket over his lap. 

"Jam," She called out and he didn't answer, so thinking he was sleeping she crawled onto his lap. There she said. "Jam...Jammy." She said again before looking up at him. "Jam." She tried again. "Jam," She said knocking his face with her hands only for it to roll forward and hit her forehead. She'd looked taken aback before trying to wake him and then she knew. She knew what death looked like. 

The next thing, she was being pulled away from his corpse, kicking and screaming, tears streaming down her face. "No," She screamed, arms fighting. "No, let me go back." 

"Atlas, shhhh, shhhh."

"No," She screeched again, her voice going hoarse.

"I know, I know, love. I know."

The grip on her was tight and she was carried down the hallway and out the door. 

"No, no, no, let me go! Let me go!" She screamed. 

"Atlas, breathe. Just breathe."

"No," She said through tears. 

"Atlas, sweetheart, I'm here. I'm here."

"No," She whimpered.

"Okay, okay, I know, I know my darling," Sherlock whispered as his grip around her waist never loosened. "Atlas stop. Stop screaming, your alright. I've got you. I've got you. Dad's here. Dad's here. I've got you." 

She was just a mess of heaving sobs now and Sherlock, grabbing a firm hold of her shoulders, swivelled her around to look at him. 

"Dad," Atlas cried looking at him.

And Sherlock just held her, whispering about science and equations and telling her that he was there. He had a hold of her. He wasn't going anywhere. Pressure round her shoulders, her waist and gradually she began to calm down a little. 

"I know, I know it hurts," Sherlock said quietly, holding her still, the dog lying on her feet. She pulled away and looked at him. "Are you back now?" 

"Yes," Atlas whispered before she looked back at the grave. "I think I need to leave. Salisbury Craggs?" 

"If you still-"

"Please," Atlas said, grimacing a smile before they headed off towards the hill. "That was a flashback, wasn't it?"

"Appeared that way," Sherlock said before slinging an arm around her shoulder, he squeezed it gently. "I shouldn't have grabbed you, your supposed to leave people alone during flashbacks...but...you were going to hurt yourself and you seemed panicked so I thought pressure...pressure normally helps her." 

"Well, thank you, dad," Atlas smiled. 

"Alright then," Sherlock smiled. "Redbeard." He called. "Sit." The dog sat before he let him off and the dog bounded away along the path. Torch lights lit the just before sunrise light effectively as they ascended the hill. 

They walked in silence before reaching the top of the hill and looking across the city as it began to wake up. 

"Promise me something?" Sherlock asked Atlas, looking at her with a side eye.

"Yeah?"

"Never let me be a vegetable but most importantly, never let me be alone."

"I won't," Atlas smiled. "I promise. But if I die soon, donate what organs you can including skin etc and maybe donate my skull to be used as Yorick. I should quite like to follow Tchaikovsky's iconic footsteps."

"That's my girl," Sherlock giggled, slinging an arm around her shoulder as they watched the sun rising over the city.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN they re-entered their hotel room, they walked in to find John sitting on the bed reading a book whilst Rosie was colouring in on the little desk - Redbeard made a beeline for her and sniffed at her pocket of dog treats eagerly.

"No," She squealed. "Papa?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" John asked over the top of his glasses.

"Can I give Redbweard his breakfast now?"

"Yes," John smiled as she picked up off the desk next to her pencils and put it on the floor as the dog began to eat away. "Sam's in the shower." 

"Ah," Atlas said before Sherlock removed his coat and took up a seat next to Rosie to look at her colouring.

"We'll go for breakfast when he's finished," John smiled before he looked back at his book. Atlas then, removed her own coat and boots and walked over to John. Sitting on the mattress next to his knees she waited for him to put the book down. He did so quite quickly and looked at her expectantly before she leaned forward and hugged his middle. Cheek to chest. "Alright, love?" 

"I just wanted a hug from you," Atlas whispered. "Your comfortable. Not fat. Comfortable. I love you."

"I love you too," John said into her hair. "You smell nice, love. Like fresh air. Did you enjoy your walk?" 

"Yep," Atlas smiled before her face fell and she looked at him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, hand to her cheek.

"I just..." Atlas whispered. "Something happened...keeps...uh...happening. They were short to begin with. Just little flashes," Atlas said quietly.

"Seizures? Do you know where you are when these...flashes happen?" John asked quietly.

"What I'm trying to say is..." Atlas paused. "They're flashbacks and they were little-"

"Were?" John asked quietly.

"Let her speak, John," Sherlock said with a small smile, just as Sammy appeared, clean and changed.

"And then...this morning whilst we went to the grave and I had a flashback but...this time it was longer," Atlas said quietly. "And Dad had to get a hold of me." She looked down at his jumper with sad eyes. 

"Atlas," John said quietly. "When did they start? The flashbacks?" 

"Just after we had that night in with the family and we saw May and Xerxes. In conclusion, no papa, I can't see a pattern. Everything was fine..." Atlas whispered as Sammy sat down on the bed next to John.

"And now it's not?" John asked.

"Everything is fine. It is. But I don't know. I just...no...I don't know," Atlas whispered said quickly, slowly becoming more and more worked up. 

"Hey, hey," John said. "It's alright sweetheart." 

"But I don't want them to start happening, I don't want them to," Atlas whispered beginning to hyperventilate.

"Atlas, swing your legs off of the side and put your head between your knees," John said pushing her out of the hug and trying to force her to sit.

"No," Atlas said latching back onto him.

"Ida Atlas Elizabeth Watson-Holmes!" Sherlock thundered, Atlas' head snapping to look at him. "Do as your asked!" 

Hanging her head, still hyperventilating, she put her head down and began to shake.

"Do you need your weighted blanket?" Sherlock asked and when Atlas didn't respond he tried again. "DO YOU NEED YOUR WEIGHTED BLANKET!?" He shouted before Atlas slid off of the bed, hands clamped over her ears. Shaking and heaving in a ball.

"Crap," John whispered as Sammy killed the lights before pulling on his trainers and grabbing the car keys to get her weighted blanket. Rosie began to cry then, and Sherlock shushed her.

"Rosie, Ro, I know it's scary but you need to be quiet. Atlas needs you to be quiet," Sherlock whispered as John sat on the floor next to Atlas. "Shh, shh." Sherlock whispered before he sat down on the floor near John. 

Sammy ran the entire way to the car and the entire way back, despite the added weight and when he came in he was heaving breath but bearing he blanket. He handed it to John who gently wrapped Atlas in it as she lay in the fetal position. 

After a few minutes, Rosie had calmed enough and John tried something. As his child continued to hyperventilate and shake under the blanket, John lifted her upper body despite her protestations and pulled her back against his chest. Wrapping her up in a cocoon of blanket, her hands still covered ears as John began to rock her. Sammy reached out a hand to place gently on her leg which at first startled before soothing her as John's armed wrapped tightly around her chest and torso.

"Just breathe," John whispered. "Your alright." His eyes tracked Sammy who collected Rosie from Sherlock and took her over to the dog who was lying on his dog bed in the corner of the room. Sherlock then made a move towards Atlas but she only shrunk even more into John - if that was even possible. 

"Hey, hey," He whispered, crawling towards her. "Atlas, sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you." 

She just looked at him, John applying more pressure. 

"You...shouted..." Atlas sobbed, pulled against John. 

"I didn't," Sherlock whispered.

"You did," Atlas hiccuped.

"I didn't. I was just a little stern with you," Sherlock said before it dawned on him. "You were going into a sensory overload." 

"Oh," Atlas said quietly before she sat forward a little to grasp at Sherlock who shuffled forward to hug her. 

"Your alright," Sherlock said, rubbing her back. "It's alright."

"Just a little overwhelming, yeah?" John said quietly before she pulled out of her dads hug and looked at him before she tilted her head up and looked at the ceiling obsessively. They waited, patiently, before she blinked a few times and looked at John and Sherlock in turn. 

"I think..." She paused to cough. "Its doing the grave, seeing my teacher, being back here, in this city and then the flashback and I can't quite seem to organise it all." 

"Alright," Sherlock smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," Atlas sobbed before she lurched forward and looped her arms around his neck. Just as he was about to move, Atlas clutched harder.

"Just a little longer?" Atlas asked quietly.

"Just a little longer," Sherlock smiled. "We're too late for breakfast here but we'll go for brunch at that pancake place." She pulled away and smiled at him. "Always gets you to smile."

"Thanks," Atlas smiled as Sherlock moved away and stood up. Atlas slowly stood up and gripped onto John's hand as he got up aswell. 

"Alright now?" John asked again as she nodded before Sammy came over and sat down next to her. 

"Yeah," Atlas smiled. "Feeling better now." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"THE key thing to do in cities like this is..." Atlas said slowly before snapping her head to the sky. "Look up!" 

Rosie gazed at the buildings and then she saw the castle, far in the distance. 

"Dragon house!" She squealed pointing and showing it to Jeff with a wide grin. 

"Yeah," Sherlock plied. "Dragon House! It's really awesome, isn't it?" 

"Yes," Rosie smiled as she swung on Sherlock's hand. "Daddy?" 

"Yes, sweetheart?" Sherlock smiled.

"How much further till food?" Rosie asked, just as Atlas and Sam ran to the outside of the pancake shop. 

"There's your answer," John smiled as Atlas looked back at them with a smile, Sammy looking in the window. Before long, they all crowded themselves into a little booth, Rosie wedged between Atlas, John and Sherlock sat opposite, smiling. 

"So did you two frequent this when Atlas was little?" John asked with a small smile.

"Yep," Atlas smiled. "For birthdays and other occasions." 

"I used to take Atlas here when her mother wasn't around or after...well...after we had to go to the hospital because of the seizures or whatever," Sherlock smiled as Atlas slipped out of her side of the booth and hugged his shoulders, tightly. 

"Thank you, dad," She grinned before kissing his cheek then leaning over him to kiss John's cheek. 

"Oh!" John said surprised. "Thank you, love." 

Atlas then sat back down on her side of the booth just as a waitress appeared to ask for their order.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"SHE was," Sammy giggled as they walked along the street. 

"She wasn't," Sherlock insisted, Atlas and Sammy linked to an arm each.

"She was, dad," Atlas smiled. "Of course she bloody was." 

"She was not flirting," Sherlock tried again.

"Sherlock," John said firmly, spinning around to look at him. "People flirt with you all the time. I mean, truly, why wouldn't they? Your beautiful."

"Oh," Sherlock said, taken aback looking at Sherlock. "Thank you." The dog trotted along on the end of the lead that was clutched between Rosie's fingers. 

"You are quite pretty, dad," Atlas smiled.

"You know, by extension you flatter yourself," Sammy giggled, Sherlock joining in. "Im looking forward to meeting Gordon, Beattie and Eddie."

"They're lovely people," Atlas smiled. "And they make the best pizza. Gordon's dad was Italian and Beattie moved here from Italy when she was three after her parents emigrated from here to there. That's why they have a pizza place."

"Ah," John smiled as Rosie suddenly became excited by a street of coloured buildings. The small girl with a big dog attracted some attention as she pointed up at the tops of the buildings, wide eyed and wide smiles.

"Daddy! Papi! Look up there! Look at the colours! Daddy! Look! Papa! Papa! Look!" She was pointing and jumping excitedly, Jeff waggling about in one hand.

"Oh wow, Rosie!" Sherlock exclaimed. "Look what you've found!"

"Papa! Papa! Hurry up!" Rosie shouted as John walked faster, Atlas and Sammy trailing behind. She was jumping and pointing at the buildings.

"I'm coming, love," John smiled as he made his way over to where Sherlock was crouched down next to Rosie. 

"They're all wellow, and wed and bwuw," Rosie exclaimed. 

"They are," Sherlock smiled as a passer by glanced in their direction. 

"Can we go for some fly?" Atlas asked as they approached a coffee shop further down the street.

"Of course," Sherlock smiled before he looked at it. "There is also outdoor seating too and it's dog friendly. A lot of places in Scotland seem to be." 

They continued along and, with a smile, sat down at a table whilst Sherlock and John popped in to collect some beverages and cake. When they reappeared it was with a variety of items but most importantly, a bottle of Irn Bru. 

"Now, Miss Rosamund," Sherlock said affectionately as he took a seat next to her. "We got you something to try. But you can only have a little bit so your not high as a kite."

"Do you like it?" Rosie asked, prodding Atlas' chest.

"No, I don't, Ro," Atlas smiled. "But that doesn't mean you won't." 

"We don't share blood," Rosie said with certaintity and Atlas, sat, shocked for a moment. 

"Rosie," Sherlock said sternly. "We don't say that."

"Why?" Rosie asked. 

"Because, Rosie, it doesn't matter that some of us share blood and others don't and because you've made someone quite upset," John said grasping Atlas' hand as the girl blinked back tears. 

"Oh," Rosie said quietly. "I didn't know." And then she got to her feet and walked to Atlas. She pu her arms around her neck as Atlas cried. "I'm sorry, At. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." And now Rosie was crying too.

"Thank you, Ro," Atlas said quietly and then she pulled away and looked at her. "Promise you won't say it again?"

"I promise," Rosie said before she swung her arms around Atlas' shoulders again. "I love you."

"I love you too, Ro," Atlas smiled. "I love you too." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"WATSON-HOLMES, we booked a table," Sherlock smiled as he told the waitress, Rosie swinging off his fingers. 

"Ah yes," The waitress said with a smile. "If you give me the moment I need to get something and then I'll show you to the table." 

It was not the waitress who returned, but instead a short, grey haired man with a beaming smile..

"Sherlock!" The man exclaimed wide eyed and beaming. "I don't believe it, look at you!" There was a hug before he caught sight of Atlas. "Oh, Atlas! Look at you aswell, my goodness! Look how you've grown!" He bustled past the rest of the family and hugged her tightly, then with hands either side of her face he smiled. "Still got those eyes. Still playing fifty different instruments?"

"Not quite fifty but...yes..." Atlas grinned. "Where's Beattie?" 

And then his eyes cast downwards and Atlas frowned. 

"When?" She asked, quietly.

"Last year. Stroke. Then dementia, death comes to us all," Gordon frowned before Atlas smiled gently at him. "Anyway, introduce me!" He turned around and offered a hand to Sammy who was hanging in the doorway

"Sammy," Sam smiled, hand out with a grin. 

"Nice to meet you," Gordon smiled. "Musician fingers."

"Trumpet, saxophone, guitar and drums," Sammy informed with a small smile, just as John put a hand to his shoulder. 

"And you must be the famous blogger, Dr Watson-Holmes, congratulations on the marriage by the way," Gordon smiled as he shook John's hand.

"Thank you," John smiled.

"Ah, Eddie! I expect your catching up with them all this evening?" Gordon smiled as the man nodded. 

"I brought a plus one, if that's alright?" Eddie smiled, another, older man appearing by his shoulder. 

"I'm sure we can fit you in," Gordon grinned. "This is?"

"James, my partner," Eddie smiled. 

"Would you join us aswell?" Atlas asked Gordon, smiling at him.

"It would be an honour, Little Holmes," Gordon smiled before he linked arms with her and led the group to the table. Sitting down, Atlas grinned as Gordon sat down on one side of her and Eddie on the other. Everyone began generalised chatter. "Been keeping well?" Gordon smiled.

"I've been keeping alright," Atlas smiled. "Been into hospital with a few different things." 

"Oh aye, I remember your seizures now," Gordon smiled.

He told stories to her as they ordered and ate and she giggled and giggled. 

And then Eddie joined in and she seemed so at ease and happy.

And John watched. Watched how she smiled and smiled and beamed with an unfamiliar excitement. A happiness he hadn't seen before. And he felt guilty and what was it...

Jealousy? Was John Watson feeling jealousy? He frowned, subtly, gently and continued to watch her. And he felt a little bit sad. She never normally smiled like that. Not when he was around. Was he a bad father or was he just being dramatic?

And then he hated himself. The flashbacks, he should have seen them happening. Getting worse. He should have paid more attention. He should ha-

"And John, John was just giggling away," Sherlock said patting his thigh with a grin and dazzled eyes. 

"Atlas," Gordon was saying on the other side of the table and it caught John's attention. His daughter was staring directly at him, blankly, and his own eyes softened. "Do you...?"

"It's just a seizure," John said quietly. "It'll pass, soon." 

"Does she still have the other ones?" Eddie asked quietly.

"Unfortunately," Sherlock whispered, just as John grabbed his hand and rubbed with his thumb.

Suddenly, she was blinking and looking around the room.

"Your alright," Eddie soothed. "Your alright." 

She looked at him and immediately she calmed down. Four words and John felt like scoffing. It took him four words.

"He's good with her," John remarked to Sherlock.

"Expected," Sherlock smiled. "Me and Eddie had a thing."

"It was a little weird," Atlas smiled gently. "My teacher in my house. Over on weekends." The she giggled. "But it helped, a lot." 

"Makes sense," John smiled weakly before Atlas frowned at him slightly. 

The room quietened before they began to chatter again and John was left to his thoughts. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

ATLAS' fingers graced over the piano, the sound she was creating sounding more and more beautiful. And when she finished she felt her own rush of emotion. This piece of music, the piece she had just played, it was written for her dads. And there was no mistaking that. 

"That was beautiful," Sammy said clapping his hands, angling them at her. 

The piano, set up in the corner of the restaurant was on a little platform, intended for open mic nights and such. 

"Thank you," Atlas said looking at them with tears in her eyes. 

"Who'd you write it for?" 

"Papa and dad," Atlas smiled, pointing at them. "Most of my music is theirs." 

"As it should be," James smiled. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"PAPA," Atlas said quietly. "Can I chat to you?" She asked, as she waited near the back of the room, Sherlock, Sammy and Rosie following in behind him. 

"Yeah?" He asked coming over to the single bed. She sat down and patted the space next to her, sitting she began.

"I just wanted to tell you that, Eddie was great. He was lovely to me and dad and kind and generous," Atlas said with a smile and John frowned. Her face then dropped and she looked at her lap. "But...he's not you. No-one is you, ever will be you. You make me feel so safe and happy," Atlas smiled. "I saw your face. Papa, no-one can compare to you, except for dad. But even then, you are still different." 

"It was just...four words," John said quietly.

"Four words?" 

"Four words. Eddie just had to say 'your alright' twice," John said with a frown. "And it always takes me a long time. I don't know, it was stupid. I shouldn't have felt jealous about that."

"Oh papa," Atlas smiled. "Have you ever had to say something to me after an absence seizure before?" John's mouth opened to speak before closing. "No...because just having you there is enough for me. Its all I need. And besides, your there for all the other bits, Eddie was great but he was never you. Not you. Could never be you." 

"Yeah?" John asked, rubbing a hand over his stubble.

"Papa, please," Atlas said. "I love you. I know your sorta new to this all and I know it's really scary-" She paused as Sherlock, Sammy and Rosie came over and sat on the floor, Redbeard sitting on Sammy. "But, I wouldn't be anyone else's daughter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol


	7. A Strad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont edit these. Thanks for hanging around.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

"CHRIST," Sherlock exclaimed, sitting upright. "Alright, okay, okay, Sam, your okay." He jumped out his bed and sat down on the bed that the boy was in. The scream he'd just let out had turned his voice hoarse and he coughed. "Come here." He opened his arms and pulled Sammy's sobbing form into his arms. "I've got you. I'm here. I've got you. I've got you." 

Atlas had woken up and sat down on the bed next to a wide eyed Rosie, pulling her into her own lap. John was kneeling on the floor next to Sammy, stroking his knee gently with a kind smile. 

"Do you want to talk?" Sherlock asked gently, holding Sammy's face between his hands. 

"No," Sammy whispered before he sobbed again and Sherlock pulled him back against his chest.

"It's alright. I've got you," Sherlock whispered. 

"It was my mother," Sammy said quietly. "I was there." 

"You were where?" John asked gently, rubbing the teenagers knee.

"I dreamt I was there when she shot herself. I don't want to have that again. I d-" Sammy sobbed.

"Okay," Sherlock whispered, pressing a kiss in the blonde hair. "Okay, love. Okay." 

"Dad," Sammy whispered. 

"I'm here," Sherlock whispered with a small smile. "I'm here."

"It was so real," Sammy sobbed again, and Sherlock rubbed his back. "It went everywhere." 

"Okay," Sherlock said gently before he pulled Sammy out of the hug and put his hands either side of his face. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sammy sniffed. 

"And I'm so, so proud of you, okay?" Sherlock said. "And your one of my favourite people."

"Wow, an upgrade," Sammy giggled.

"No, not quite," Sherlock said softly. "You've been one of my favourite people since everything at school, driving Atlas to see John, taking her to Mr Fraggerty's office, trying to stop her getting suspended. You care about people. And when I came with you to your house, you were so, so impressive." 

Sammy looked at his lap as Sherlock removed his hands. 

"That's why..." Sherlock started, looking at John for confirmation who nodded. "We filed for adoption of you before we left. They can't stop you living with us but if anything happens to you, we want you there."

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THEY remained quiet the rest of their time in Edinburgh. They took Rosie to the Harry Potter shop and showed her the castle and the tearoom where JK Rowling wrote the famed seven parter. 

"Daddy!" Rosie shrieked just before the family were about to leave the hotel room. "Papa!" 

"Yes, little Watson?" Sherlock asked Rosie gently. 

"Will we see that bridge thing in Harry Potter? Atlas said that the bridge or via...via...Glenfinn-"

"Glenfinnan viaduct," Sammy smiled as Rosie giggled.

"Is near where Grandma Jojo lives?" Rosie said. "So, papa, daddy, can we go?" 

"Yes," John said. "I've already mentioned it to grandma, Aunt Isla and Harry and they said we'll make a day of it. Yeah?" 

"Okay," Rosie grinned. "I wuv you papa." 

"I love you too, sweetheart," John said gently.

"I wuv you daddy," Rosie smiled.

"I love you too, little Watson," Sherlock smiled.

"I wuv you Disney," Rosie said looking up at Sammy.

"I love you too, Ro," Sammy grinned.

"I wuv you At," Rosie smiled, looking at Atlas.

"I love you too, Bumble," Atlas giggled.

"I wuv you Jeff," Rosie grinned.

"I love you too, Rosie," Sammy imitated. 

"I wuv you, Redbeard," Rosie exclaimed running towards the dog who barked. She wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Are we ready to go now?" John smiled as Rosie nodded. 

"Yep," Rosie giggled.

"Come on you two," Sherlock said to Atlas and Sammy who quickly caught them at the door. "Dinner?" He then asked John.

"Starving," John grinned before they left the little room.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THE following morning they packed themselves away into the car and began the longer car journey up to the Highlands. 

"I'm so excited!" Rosie squealed. "I've missed Jojo and Harry so much." 

"I have too, Rosebud," Atlas smiled. "I've really, really missed them."

"Me three," Sammy smiled, as Atlas put her head against his shoulder. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"DO I see my eldest child helping?" Josephine said, shocked, as she entered the kitchen to see Harriet helping her Aunt Isla to bake some scones. 

"I thought that I'd make some blueberry scones," Aunt Isla said, bustling around the room. "Don't tell me they don't eat them?"

"No, they do," Jo smiled. "They're going to love you. And your going to love them. Rosie is absolutely adorable, Sammy is charming and kind and Atlas is hilarious and so, so smart."

"Preach," Harry smiled. "Mum, you don't happen to know how Atlas has been do you?" 

"Alright, I think. John keeps me updated and she's been about the same," Jo smiled. 

"I feel for her," Jo smiled, softly. "Bless her." 

"She's been having flashbacks, John told me this morning," Harry frowned. "He texted me an update telling me when they'd left. Rosie is apparently, very excited to see us." 

"I'm very excited to meet them," Isla grinned.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"HELLO," Atlas said into her phone. 

"Hello, Ida," Mycroft said on the other side.

"I need your help with something," He informed. 

"I'm listening," Atlas said. 

"Which colour does Rosie prefer? Purple or pink?" Uncle Mycroft asked.

"Purple or yellow," Atlas said into the phone. "I miss you."

"It's been about three days," Mycroft sighed.

"But your still awesome, Mycroft," Atlas smiled. "Good luck with your case, I love you."

"I love you too, Ida," Mycroft said. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

THEY had been sat in static traffic for two hours. Everyone was beginning to get restless and people were starting starting get out their cars and kick up a fuss, but the lights above the motorway were clear. They weren't going anywhere. 

Atlas' legs were beginning to get restless and her right one had already began to tremor.

"Ugh, is there an accident or something?" Sammy asked, putting his head back against the headrest. 

"Yep," Sherlock said. "Worst bit is it's three miles up and there's no junction." 

"Dad," Atlas said quietly as both her legs began little jerking movements, barely visible.

"Hold on a second, love," Sherlock said.

"Papa," Atlas tried before she undid her seat belt and her pelvis began to tremor. Both legs were going wild.

"Have you lost your speech?" Sammy asked gently and Atlas opened her mouth to speak and ended up just nodding. 

Sherlock looked at her gently. "It's alright, sweetheart." He reached out a hand and placed it on her knee. "Do I need to get out?" 

Atlas shook her head as her legs continued to shake. 

"Intermittent tremor in pelvis and below," Sherlock said to John. 

"Okay, love, it's okay," John said, reaching his hand back too. And Sammy out an arm around her shoulder as tears began to fall. 

"Hey, hey," Sherlock said quietly looking back at her. She sighed loudly as she shut her eyes in exhaustion.

"Love," John said quietly before the traffic infront began to creep, but only a little and then it stopped again. A police officer was making his way along the cars and he turned up at theirs. 

His first concern was Atlas.

"Hello," The police officer said. "I was just coming to update you but I've noticed your daughter shaking in the back. Is everything okay?" 

"She's got a neurological condition," John said. "It's a tremor, it should be over soon." 

"Alright, so, there's a multi-car pile up and we're having to airlift the injured to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary," The police officer said. "It's the nearest. We'll be stuck for maybe another two or so hours. So, I just wanted wanted check if you have food?" 

"We do, thank you, sir," Sherlock smiled as Atlas' tremor subsided and she looked down at her lap.

"Feel free to get out and stretch your legs," The Police officer said before disappearing and Atlas burst into tears. 

"Atlas," John said turning in his seat. "Come on, sweetheart." 

"Were you embarrassed?" Sherlock asked gently before Atlas sobbed with a nod before putting her face in her hands. 

"Atlas," Rosie said quietly, unbuckling her seat belt and hopping onto Sammy's lap. "Breathe." 

"Sorry," Atlas cried. 

"At, please, breathe," Rosie pleaded, thrusting Jeff at her. 

"Come on, love," John said softly. 

"Papa," Atlas whispered. 

"I'm here, sweetheart," John said, reaching a hand back to rub her knee. 

"Dad," Atlas said again, before looking up at Sherlock, eyes shining with unshed tears. 

"I would give you a hug right now but I can't," Sherlock said gently before he reached over to her shoulder. Atlas nodded before Sammy slipped his arm over Atlas shoulder. 

Sherlock got out of the car and opened the boot, telling an obedient Redbeard to stay in the boot whilst he collected a flask and a packet of biscuits and some fruit. Hopping back in he looked back at Atlas, breathing still a little uncontrollable and handed her a wagon wheel. 

"Thank you," Atlas said quietly before she opened it a little, whilst sniffing. 

"Just breathe," Sherlock said. "It's alright, the police officer was very nice. Alright?" Atlas nodded. "Would you like any fruit?" Atlas shook her head and sniffed again as John looked at her in the rear view mirror. 

"Fruit or biscuit, Sam?" Sherlock asked.

"Biscuit, please," Sam smiled before he took a wagon wheel.

"Rosie?" Sherlock asked.

"Biscuit, please, daddy," Rosie whispered.

"Alright," Sherlock said before he turned to John.

"John?" Sherlock asked.

"I'm a doctor," John said.

"Off duty and a dad. So, biscuit," Sherlock said handing him one that earned him a kiss on the cheek. 

"You know me well," John smiled before he turned in his seat and looked through his headrest gap at Atlas. 

"Alright now, love?" John asked gently Atlas nodded before the dog, thrust his nose between hers and Sammy's headrests. "That's it Redbeard. You snuffle in Atlas' ear and cheer her up for me." 

Atlas giggled at that before he stuck out his tongue and kissed her cheek. 

"Redbeard," Atlas exclaimed. "I do love you but not when you lick me on the face." 

Traffic started to move just as it was getting dark and once they pulled off the motorway they stopped at a fuel station for fuel, before going to the local services. 

"Right, come on, food," John said before he pulled up in a car parking space and they all got out. 

"And you," John said pointing at Atlas as she got out. "C'mere." 

"Pa," Atlas whined before he walked towards her and hugged her himself. 

"Your never too old for hugs," John said as he put his hands either side of her face and kissed her forehead. "Now go give your younger old man a hug aswell." 

Atlas did as she was told and when Sherlock came round the bonnet he was met with a bone crushing hug.

"Alright?" He asked.

"Just giving you a hug," Atlas said before she followed John over to the little cafe.

"My legs feel like jelly," Sammy said before he did a knocking knees impression which made Atlas and Rosie giggle.

"They will," Sherlock smiled. "That was a long time." He paused. "John?"

"Yeah, love?" John asked Sherlock gently.

"I'll drive," Sherlock smiled and John smiled in return. "And then you can sleep."

"Thank you," John smiled before he kissed Sherlock's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sherlock smiled as he opened the door and beckoned his family inside. 

"It's basic, but it's food," John remarked before he took Rosie's hand and they went into the Costa for toasties and coffee. 

"I'm so hungry," Atlas said dramatically before they got to the counter. 

Five toasties later and three cups of coffee later - Atlas was not allowed coffee because they knew how crazy it would make her. 

"Did you enjoy that Rosebud?" Atlas asked Rosie with a smile. She nodded before slipping off her seat and climbing up onto John's knee.

"Your getting a bit old for this Rosie, love," John smiled before she looked at him then shook her head. "Alright then."

"I love you," Rosie smiled at him.

"I love you too, sweetheart," John said rubbing her back as she leaned against him. Atlas put her head on the table, temple on the wood before Sammy stood up and himself, Rosie and John made their way to the shelves of sweets and food for the remainder of the journey. 

Sherlock's hand rubbed Atlas' back gently before caressing the back of her head. 

"Are you-" Sherlock started.

"In pain," Atlas muttered.

"Where?" Sherlock whispered.

"All over," Atlas whispered in return before sitting up and looking at him. "Don't make that face, I'll be fine." 

"What face?" Sherlock asked.

"The face you make when you pity me or are offering up sympathy that I don't, quite frankly desire or deserve," Atlas bit at him harshly before pausing. "Sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that, dad. I'm grateful for your concern." 

"I don't like to see you in pain, Atlas," Sherlock said softly. "I never do."

"You cry," Atlas whispered back. "Everytime."

Sherlock didn't know what to say to that.

"You cry every night, don't you dad?" She was sitting upright and looking at him. "Or at least on the evenings of my worst days because somehow and somewhere, someone has led you to believe all this is your fault." 

Sherlock looked at his lap.

"And its not. It's no-one's," Atlas said before he looked up at her. "If it's anything, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you." 

"Well..." Sherlock said. "I believe your capable of handling yours-"

"Dad," Atlas said sternly before holding his hands. 

"I saved your life," Sherlock said, lips curving into a smile. 

"On more than one occasion," Atlas added before he gave a little smile in return. "I love you dad."

"No matter what," Sherlock offered with a smile. "I love you too." Atlas smiled back at him before they got up and went off to find the rest of their family. 

"Alright, now?" John asked as they met up with him just outside the little M&S right next to the Costa.

"Yep," Atlas smiled before they all made their way out to the car. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

IT was nearly midnight when they arrived at a little cottage up a hill. It had taken several attempts to find the cottage as the sat nav had no idea and they were going solely off of John's memory and outdated ordnance survey maps. 

"You collect Rosie and I'll get the dog," John smiled before Sherlock pulled up outside the house and they stepped out into the cold, Highland air. "Ugh, it smells the same way it did." He said before collecting their dog and making their way up to the door. Sherlock followed behind where he carried Rosie, the teenagers taking up the tail.

He knocked, twice, before the door opened to reveal Harry.

"John!" Harry exclaimed before throwing her arms around his shoulders. "I missed you." 

"I missed you too," John said into her shoulder before she took hold of the dog lead.

"I'll take Redbeard through to the kitchen-come living space," Harry said. "Isla got a wooden extension onto where her original stone kitchen is and now it opens up onto this amazing dining with double doors into her garden. It means that kitchen is now this big seating area with a fire and-"

"It's a bit cold out here," John said with a pointed look. 

"Oh yeah, sorry, John," Harry smiled. "Come in, come in." 

They deposited their shoes in the lobby before John helped Sherlock remove his coat around Rosie who was sleeping in his arms. 

"Come on through," Harry said before they followed her through to the kitchen and living space. 

"John Hamish! John!" Isla grinned with flour hands as she walked towards him. "Oh look at you." She clapped flour hands on his cheek which when she moved over to Sherlock he wiped away with the wet cloth tossed at him by his mother. 

"Aunty Isla," John said gently. "This is my husband, Sherlock and my daughter, Rosie." 

"Oh, look at her," Aunt Isla crooned. "John," She said looking at him. "She's beautiful." There was a pause. "And he's beautiful." 

"Thank you," Sherlock smiled before he moved away to allow John to introduce her to the others. 

"This is Sammy," John smiled. "And then Atlas."

"Oh my dears, oh my dears," Isla smiled before kissing Sammy's cheek and then Atlas'. "It's lovely to meet you both." 

"Hello, my love," Jo said as Rosie woke up and Sherlock put her down on the floor.

"Jojo!" She screeched, her eyes lighting up as she ran towards her, arms outstretched.

"Hello!" Jo said cuddling her close, adorning her temple with littered kisses. 

They all made their way into the living space of the room and sat down, Atlas sitting next to Harry. 

"So you split up with Clara then?" Atlas asked looking at her, catching everyone's attention. 

"I did," Harry smiled gently. 

"And you don't have anyone new," Atlas said. "But you like your friend named Ally."

"Yes," Harry said quietly.

"Not good?" Atlas asked looking at Harry and then around the room.

"No your alright," Harry said. "It wasn't good but it wasn't bad either." 

"Okay," Atlas smiled gently before leaning her head on Harry's shoulder and conversation continuing again. 

"Alright?" Harry asked Atlas who was lying with her eyes shut. 

"I've got a headache," Atlas whispered before tucking herself up against Harry. "I should probably go to bed." She unravelled herself before getting to her feet.

"Come on Ro," Sherlock said getting to his feet. "Time for bed." He offered an outstretched hand and she bounded over and grabbed a hold. Sammy got to his feet and walked with them. "Room?"

"Oh!" Isla exclaimed. "Harry, you know the rooms their in?" 

"I do," Harry smiled before she too joined them and they went up the stairs. 

"How's things?" Jo asked John who smiled at her. 

"Good," John smiled. "Actually, very good."

"How's Atlas?" Harry asked.

"Not good," John sighed rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. "She's started getting flashbacks and fainting episodes and the seizures, while slowly becoming less are becoming longer, more sustained and quite violent." 

"You worry," Isla said gently.

"Of course I do," John said quietly. "She's my baby." 

"You knew her as a child?" Isla asked, in disbelief.

"No," John said quietly. "But she's still my baby. She's still so small and young and full of life and everyday it gets harder and harder like this darkness suppressing in the light that flows inside her being." He looked up at them. "And it's hard to watch." And then his face screwed up and he put his face in his hands. "I'm sorry." He drew in a shaky breath and covered his eyes, elbows resting on his knees. 

And when Sherlock came down the stairs and saw John, he sat down next to him and leaned back against the back of the sofa, pulling his husband to his chest. Eyes still covered, John's tears subsided and Sherlock continued to rub his back. 

"Bless," Isla whispered before she disappeared behind them and stuck the kettle on. 

"What were we talking about?" Sherlock asked softly, the rumble in his chest soothing John. 

"Atlas," Jo supplied helpfully and Sherlock's mouth just opened and closed.

"Bed, John?" Sherlock asked gently before he spotted the mugs of tea. "May we take these upstairs with us? We've had quite a long day." 

"Of course," Isla said before Sherlock stood, bringing John with him. The older man continued to hide his face in embarrassment before he looked up and faced them.

"I apologise," John said quietly.

"John Hamish Watson," Isla said, standing and placing her hands either side of his face. "Don't you dare apologise for loving someone. Ever. Okay?" 

John nodded at that before following Sherlock upstairs and when they got into the bedroom Sherlock disappeared into the bathroom. And as soon as the bedroom door shut John began to blubber again. Great rafts of emotion through his core that left him sitting against the wall head in hands, ragged breathing in the middle of complete emotional turmoil. 

"John," Sherlock was pleading, choking out his words. "John, please, John please. Open your eyes." There was a pause. "John, your scaring me." 

"Sherlock," John heaved before he looked up and reached out his hands to take Sherlock's, the younger man almost sitting on his feet. 

"It's alright, John," Sherlock whispered, barely holding the tears in himself as he hugged John's legs. "Whilst not practical, I'm not sure how else to comfort you." 

That made John smile a little and chuckle which warmed Sherlock as he just sat with him. 

"Sorry, I just-" 

"It's alright, John," Sherlock soothed. "Don't speak. Okay?" He rested his forehead against John's as he blubbered. 

"Sherlock," John sobbed.

"Come on John," Sherlock said. "We've had a long day. We should shower and change yeah?" 

"No shower, just sleep," John whispered, choking on his words, hands shaking violently. 

"Come on then," Sherlock said, patting his husband's right knee gently. The younger man got to his feet and pulled John up after him.

"I don't know what came over me," John mumbled.

"I do," Sherlock said gently. "Pain." He gave a gentle smile before he went into the bathroom, John following. 

John lay with his ear on Sherlock's chest, listening to the irregular breathing of his husband. 

"Sherlock," John whispered.

"Shh, John, sleep," Sherlock reassured. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"ATLAS, Sammy?" Isla asked, entering her kitchen. 

"Shhh," Atlas whispered as she cracked an egg into the bowl. 

"What're you two-" 

"Got it!" Rosie squealed as she put the dog food down for Redbeard and came over.

"Three," Isla corrected. "Doing to my kitchen?"

"Making dad and papa pancakes for breakfast," Atlas smiled.

"Well then," Isla said with a smile. "I suppose I should help." 

Half an hour later, when John and Sherlock came downstairs they were greeted by a table adorned with jams, curds and spreads. Lemon juice and sugar. There were two plates with pancakes stacked on either end of the large table. Coffee pots and tea pots with mugs around the table, with plates and knives and forks. 

Atlas, Sammy and Rosie were stood on the other side of the table, flour in their hair and on their faces. Harry, Jo and Isla were standing off to the side.

"We made breakfast," Sammy smiled. 

"You did all this yourself?" Sherlock asked with a grin. 

"With a little bit of help from Aunt Isla," Atlas admitted with a small smile. 

"Come on then, before it gets cold," Isla grinned before they all sat around the table. 

"Who's idea was it?" John asked as he spread some jam on a pancake. 

Sammy and Rosie both pointed at Atlas who gave a little smile. 

"I should've guessed. You'll have been dictated to," Sherlock smirked as Atlas smirked back. "Also, fiddle lesson today." 

"Dad," Atlas complained, rolling her eyes.

"No, we've nearly managed to get that piece by Telemann down," Sherlock smiled before Atlas groaned.

"I like hearing you play," John said before Josephine nodded in agreement.

"Alright then," Atlas agreed. 

"I've heard it's wonderful and all this talk of music has me remembering your cello, John," Isla said before John went wide eyed and shrunk.

"Cello?" Atlas asked looking at John across the table.

"I played cello, poorly, as a child," John said with a smile. "Maybe for about a year and the cello is a family one passed down through our generations." 

"Do you play?" Isla asked.

"I do," Atlas said.

"She doesn't just play," Harry exclaimed. "She makes her instruments sing." 

"Well then, I should have to get the cello out the loft to let you have a look at it," Isla said with a smile.

"It's-"

"I insist," Isla said. "That thing hasn't seen the light of day in decades." 

Atlas cautiously looked at John who gave her the warmest smile and then to Sherlock who smiled at her too. 

After breakfast, the cello was collected from the loft between Sherlock, Sammy and Harry before it was brought downstairs. Atlas sat on the sofa as the hard case was brought in and Atlas kneeled, opening it. Inside was one of the prettiest cellos she had ever seen and also one of the most expensive. 

"Papa, you had..." Atlas paused. "No." 

"It's..." Sherlock exclaimed.

"A strad," Atlas completed. "They are rarer than the Strad violins of which two are in our possession, dad's and Eurus'."

"Not yours?" Harry asked.

"No," Atlas smiled and she laughed. "No, mines a stradivari design but not a strad. But it means a lot to me. Dad...left it to me. So, it means a lot." She paused. "This is...beautiful." She paused again. "It's going to need re-strung." 

"Do you have a music shop close?" 

"About twelve miles away but if we go now," Harry said, glancing at her watch. "We should make it back before more of our guests appear." 

"Alright," Atlas smiled. "Me and dad'll go....unless...Sam?"

Sammy looked at her.

"Fancy a nosy?" 

"If you don't mind?" Sammy said quietly.

"Why would we mind?" Harry said, touching his shoulder before they got to their feet. 

"Let's go."


	8. A Dance and A Symphony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seizures. But your still here so....

"YOU ready to go, love?" Paul called out to Sophie in their small, yet respectable home. 

"Yes, yes, alright," Sophie exclaimed, pissed at him for asking so much of her in such a short period of time. Trailing their way out to the car, the expecting couple hopped inside and pulled out of their driveway.

Today, they were heading to see Sophie's mother Isla who was currently housing her cousin and his family. She had heard much about her elusive cousin and did not feel that his current partnership was quite appropriate. 

Peter, her brother, however, disagreed entirely and upon getting in the car made that note quite plain.

"Soph, look," Peter said. "John was always good to us when we were kids."

"Yeah, because he was a whole ten years older and he had to be," Sophie exclaimed, angrily, beating her feet like a stroppy child.

"Oh come on," Peter said, eyeing up Paul who made no attempt to comment. "John's happy so you should be happy for him. Don't be jealous of his fame."

"Fame? What _fame?"_ She spat.

"You know, Sherlock Holmes, the detective, John's husband. His daughter Atlas Holmes - although, I believe they are Watson-Holmes - who is also a detective and an author. The writer Timothy Holmes?" 

Sophie scoffed before offering no reply.

Peter didn't want to push it any further so he sat in silence.

"John's marriage is a shame, though," Sophie said.

"Don't make assumptions about someone till you meet him, he might be wonderful," Paul smiled.

"Yeah, Soph," Peter chided before they were launched into yet more uncomfortable silence. 

"Yeah, no," Sophie said after more silence. "I don't want my baby to be gay."

"Our baby," Paul said.

"What the hell?" Peter exclaimed. "Sophie, since when did you have a vendetta against everyone within the LGBTQIA+ community?"

"Since our cousin married one," Sophie bit out. 

"Stop the car," Peter said and Paul just kept driving. "Let me out the fucking car." 

"Alright, alright, I think your being unreasonable though," Sophie said as Paul slowed down. "How you going to get there?"

"I'll hitch hike or walk. Anything's better than dealing with you," Peter exclaimed before he got out the car and slammed the door, Paul driving away.

Sitting on the verge, Peter waited...and waited until in the distance he could see a black land rover. And it was slowing down. 

"Hop in," Sherlock said poking his head out the window.

"I-"

"Get in Pete," Harry said leaning forward to look at him as Atlas shuffled into the middle seat. 

Peter opened the back door and slid onto the seat with a smile.

"Fall out with Soph?" Harry asked as Sherlock continued driving.

"Aye," Peter sighed.

"Warning, Sherlock, Atlas, Sam, Sophie is handful and a homophobe," Harry said. 

"Most of our family are," Peter sighed resting his head on the window before sitting up right. "Nice to meet you, Sherlock."

"Nice to meet you too," Sherlock smiled. "We're heading to the music shop."

"Oh right, okay," Peter smiled. "My friend works there, ill be able to get you a discount."

"Thank you," Atlas beamed at him. "Atlas." She offered a hand.

"Peter," He smiled, taking her hand before he caught sight of Sammy with make up and nail polish.

"Sammy," Sam said, hand out.

"Nice to meet you," Peter smiled as he nodded. "Is this..." He inspected Sam's fingers. "It is, you've got some good quality polish there. Although, you need to make sure you top coat properly to avoid much more scratching." 

"Oh," Sammy said. "Thank you."

"Don't seem so surprised, I dress drag queens when I'm at home in Glasgow," Peter sighed. 

"Ballsy trying car share with your sister then?" Harry pointed out with a smile.

"What else was I supposed to do?" 

"I don't know, say...no?" Harry laughed slightly before it died. "Anyway, if it's any help, there's a spare bed at Isla's. She's your mum so I'm sure she'll take you if you ask."

"Thank you," Peter smiled with a grin. 

"Oh, dad!" Atlas exclaimed. "Papa just told me that a string on my violin has snapped. He thought to check it considering changes in temperature and everything." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"WENDY!" Damien shouted at the top of his lungs as she hit her sister Lily on the cheek. His wife Kate audibly sighed as they continued driving. "You two better not behave like this when we get there."

"Does John have any children?" Lily asked, cautiously, her younger sister Wendy scowling at her. 

"Yes, he has Rosie who I think, oh, she must be about five and then Sammy and Atlas. Now Sammy is maybe, seventeen I think and then Atlas is sixteen. She's younger than you Lily but older than Wendy," Damien explained. "And you will be nice to them. Atlas is actually quite poorly and both of them have been through hell."

"What death or something?" Wendy asked, big eyes.

"Sammy's sister and parents all died of circumstances which are not mine to explain," Damien said. "And Atlas...well...is Atlas. I don't know the extent of hers but I was messaging Isla and she said that Atlas suffers from severe PTSD, FND which is health condition which I had to research and I'm a pediatric surgeon which causes seizures and a few other things. Atlas has seen more than few see in a lifetime. So it'll pay you to be kind and nice to her." 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

ZOE and Alex were Isla's sisters and as they drove along through the mountains and hills the air was cool.

"It's been a while, Al," Zoe said quietly. "Since we saw anyone."

"I know," Alex sighed. "We have to smile though and there's going to be a lot of people who we don't quite frankly know."

"It'll be okay though," Zoe smiled.

"That it will," Alex confirmed with a nod.

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"THIS is amazing!" Atlas exclaimed, looking at Harry who came over and stood next to her. 

"I'm glad you like it," Harry laughed, before putting an arm around her niece's shoulder. Before letting go to look around.

"Oh, Harry?" Atlas asked with a gentle smile.

"Yeah?" Harry smiled. 

"Could I...I don't suppose I can call you Aunty Harry?" Atlas asked. "I've just, never really had much of a family before, except for on my dads side and even then it's sma-"

"Of course you can," Harry said turning to look at her. "You don't have to ask."

"Oh, right, it's just, some people don-"

"Think that John's actually your dad?" Harry said. "Because you have two?"

Atlas bit her lip and nodded. 

"Well, those days are past girl," Harry smiled. 

"Okay, I didn't think you would think like that but I'm scared about the rest of papa's family," Atlas whispered.

"Hey, hey, brains, you don't have to be," Harry said. "I've already told them I'll kick their asses." 

"Okay," Atlas whispered. "I love you."

"Aww, I love you too," Harry smiled before hugging her. "Now come on, I'll buy you the strings...but only because your playing will make him cry." 

Several sets of strings later and ceilidh fiddle music, the group of five left the music shop.

"Fly?" Harry asked.

"Won't we be late?" Sammy asked, before looking up at Sherlock.

"The less time we have to socialise with the rest of our family the better," Peter swallowed. "Especilaly 'cause Damien and Kate are aye bringing Wendy and Lily." 

"For f-sake," Harry exclaimed. "Why do I dislike so many members of this family?" She paused. "Except for you Pete and all of you guys, Sherlock. I've also been chatting to your sister."

"Oh lord. Do not help her plan world domination," Sammy giggled as Atlas joined in. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

"IS that them then?" Damien asked as he pointed to a large black landrover, pulling onto the front drive.

"Will be," John said, looking out the window that looked onto it. "Looks like they picked up Peter on the way, Isla." He glanced back at her as she smiled. 

"Is that daddy?" Rosie asked John quietly as the man nodded sending the young girl running to the front door. 

"Hello, bee," Sherlock said as she jumped around his feet. "What have you been up to?"

She held up her A4 drawing of a pirate pig with one eye to him.

"Oh wow!" Sherlock exclaimed. "It's wonderful."

"Come on Rosebud," Atlas said to her, leading her to the quiet, unoccupied living room where all instruments were waiting. 

"Ugh, can I pretend I know how to play violin or something?" Peter exclaimed before harrumphing onto the floor by Atlas who was examining her instrument. 

"If you want," Atlas grinned before John came into the room.

"Come and be sociable, love," He held her shoulder as she shook her head. "They're not scary." He ended up sitting down next to her on the floor as she could hear laughter erupting next door, Sherlock's laugh and Rosie's giggle. Sammy however, appeared into the living room and sat down by Peter. 

"Do you just want to wait a moment?" He asked gently as she nodded. "Alright then." She looked away from him quietly, then back at him. "Alright, lovebug?" 

"Yeah," Atlas sighed. "They just sound...like really nice people." 

"They are," John said quietly, looking at her. "That doesn't mean you have to like them though." 

"But-"

"It's okay, love," John said gently, she looked at him before getting to her feet. He followed her. One deep breath and she entered the room making a bee line for her grandmother who was sat at the dining table and had an unoccupied seat next to her.

"Is anyone sitting here?" She asked quite quietly.

"Your papa was," Jo said with a small smile, glancing at him. 

"I'll get another," John smiled before going off to get a stool. 

"How was the music shop then?" Jo asked Atlas quietly who looked up to meet the eyes of the people round the table. 

"Pretty good, they have loads of string sets. And I managed..." Atlas paused and looked to her dad. "To get the good ones. The normally really expensive ones, and dad checked them."

"They the ones dad has to get through Mycroft," John asked as he put down the stool next to her.

"Yeah, papa," Atlas smiled before her face fell as she looked around. "Sam." She said, as the boy came in and budged her over on the dining chair she was on. They swayed against each other for a moment in laughter before stopping. 

"It's nice to meet you both," Damien smiled from the other side of the table.

"You too," Atlas smiled, Sammy nodded in agreement. 

"So, are you in school or?" Damien asked, Atlas looking to John for an answer, for confirmation.

"They are not," John said. "Atlas was...ill earlier in the year and well then Sammy's mum died..."

"Shot herself," Sammy corrected harshly, with a gentle nod from John and a shoulder squeeze. 

"My sister died whilst Atlas was in hospital, my dad just over a year ago," Sammy explained. 

"What did they die of? If you don't mind me asking of course?" Zoe asked gently.

"My dad died in a car accident, straight off the M1 into the traffic below. Multi-car pile up. Wrecks for metres," Sammy said quietly. "I was...at home. I'd fallen out with him the day before over something or another. I'd said he wasn't my dad because in truth he was my step dad. And then he died, on impact. Fast forward a few months and my sister is told she's got end stage leukemia and dies in Manchester miles from home and I hold her, whilst my mum drinks and drinks and drinks and once Georgia goes I get the next train home to see Atlas in hospital. And Sherlock and John go to Norway, and Atlas is back in hospital and I think she's dying. But she's not obviously. And I go to school, the last time I was there, and my mum shoots herself in a hotel by the River Irvine. I'm not there, I'm here. And I stay with Atlas and then my Aunt, she tries to take custody of me. But Sherlock doesn't let that happen. And John makes pizza." 

Atlas held his arm and rested a head on his shoulder. 

"He said you were ill?" Sophie asked sweetly.

"Yeah," Atlas whispered. "I was poisoned. Long story. Not very interesting and then I was ill. Not very exciting either." 

The room fell into silence.

"Those strings aren't going to sort themselves," Atlas said patting the table and getting up, Sherlock following her and the dog following.

"I best go too," Sammy said gently before he too entered the living room. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

AN hour later and they could hear a cello being played. It was low and frankly beautiful and so slowly, so, so slowly everyone in the entire house migrated towards the living room and filed in. Atlas' back was to them whilst Sherlock faced them with his violin. He looked over the back of Atlas' head briefly before down at her. She seemed to nod her queue to him and he began to play and it was...beautiful. Sammy picked up Rosie and kissed her temple, though she was too big and John made his way over. 

"It's beautiful," Sammy smiled looking at John who couldn't see for tears in his eyes. 

"It is," John choked as they began to play through a section of call and response. 

Isla weaved her way over to John.

"She can have that cello," Isla said with a small smile and John nodded. She too had tears streaking her face before the music came to a stop. 

Sherlock and Atlas nodded at one another before getting to their feet and when Atlas turned around and Sherlock looked up, they too were crying. 

Slowly, Atlas walked to John and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her temple on his shoulder. 

"It was wonderful," John said to Atlas who smiled at him.

"I love you," Atlas whispered.

"I love you too, lovebug," John smiled before Sherlock came over and kissed John before offering a hug to Isla who took it and then to Harry and then to Jo. 

"How'd you learn?" Sophie asked, a lace of malice.

"My uncle," Atlas said, straightening up from John. "And then my dad and my aunt taught me violin." 

"Hmm," She said quietly before she turned and Atlas looked at John. 

"Just ignore her, love," He said, stroking the hair out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. 

"I think I'll sit in here for a while," Atlas said to him as everyone went back into the kitchen. 

"Alright," John said before he too left with Sherlock and everyone else. 

Alone, she sat, quietly. The dog nudging at her with his nose.

"I know Redbeard," Atlas whispered under her breath. "I know." She looked around the room. "I'm thinking I need to go upstairs and I can be comfortable in the room. Away from people."

He sat and looked at her and tried to push his nose under her arm.

"Redbeard, this is loads of warning," She whispered before she got to her feet and made her way over to the stairs but he stood on the bottom step and then sat down again.  
"Red." 

He glared at her.

"Redbeard," Atlas said before he continued to refuse to move. "I need to get upstairs."

But then her knees buckled and her eyes rolled as she hit her head on the way down.

Hands crumpled, body unconcious on the floor head back, arched back. Damien, luckily, had just paid a visit to the loo and being a pediatrician, was beside her in moments.

"Okay," Damien said quietly, removing his jumper and fashioning it into a pillow for her, the dog walking away and lying down, watching her over the tops of his paws.

Meanwhile, the laughter in the kitchen had masked the crash for all except Sherlock who's decision to live at high tension meant he heard her. He heard a thump and slowly excused himself.

"Oh," Sherlock said as he exited the kitchen and saw her. "I'm here. I'm here, love." 

"She's lucky she wasn't halfway up the stairs," Damien frowned as Sherlock nodded before crouching down next to her. He caught sight of her temple, a gash adorning it and realised it was bleeding, trickling towards the carpet. A box of tissues were conveniently sat on the sideboard and Sherlock grabbed one, pressing against her temple lightly despite the seizure.

"I should get, John," Sherlock said quietly. "He'll be able to sort the cut on her head."

"I can fix the cut," Damien said with a smile. "But she'll want her dads, both of them." 

Sherlock nodded, Damien taking over in holding the tissue and went into the kitchen.

"John," He said quietly. "Will you?" 

"Yeah," John replied, getting to his feet.

"Isla, do you have plasters and antiseptic wipes?" Sherlock asked, the occupants of the room turning to look at him. "Atlas is having a seizure." John looked at him before leaving the room urgently. "Wipes?"

"Box on the top shelf, in that cupboard," Isla said pointing to the cupboard, Sherlock opening and finding the box he needed. Taking it out he rifled through and found that he didn't quite rightly know exactly what it was he needed. 

"Thank you," Sherlock smiled. 

When he was back in the hallway John had disappeared and he frowned.

"He said something about a weighted blanket," Damien said.

"Yeah, she can be a bit stressed and confused afterwards," He sat down and held the box to his chest. "And upset." 

"I got it," John said coming down the stairs and gently stepping over her. 

The seizure then stopped, back arching finished and headache starting, she lay unconcious a moment more. 

When she opened her eyes she was staring straight at Sherlock who clutched the box of medical gear tighter and tighter.

"Dad," Atlas whispered quietly, Sherlock nodding. 

"I'm here, sweetheart," Sherlock whispered.

"Where are we?" 

"Aunt Isla's, remember?" Sherlock said gently as John readjusted the cushion under her head. She turned to look at him and it felt like an eternity that he sat there waiting for her to speak.

"Papa," She said quietly. "Papa." 

"Yeah, love?" He asked.

"My head hurts."

"You've cut it. Will you let me have a look?" He asked gently as she nodded turning the other cheek to look at Sherlock again.

"You should thank Redbeard, Dad," Atlas said quietly. "He told me. He kept snuffling me and then he wouldn't let me go upstairs. Think he knew." She paused as she looked at her dad, flinching as John wiped at the cut.

"I know, love, I'm sorry," John said as Atlas placed a hand to his arm. He tried to wipe again and she pushed his arm away. "You have to let me clean it and put butterfly strips over the top." 

She shook her head. 

"Would it help if we went and sat in the living room?" Sherlock asked.

"I feel...dizzy...still," Atlas whispered.

"Here then," Damien, who had been quiet, said. "If you feel alright to sit." 

"Yeah," Atlas said quietly as she began to sit up. 

"Lean against John here," He smiled, Atlas putting her back against his chest, instantly warmed by him.

"Papa," She whispered drowsily as he got a hold of her wrists his forearms pressed to the backs of her arms.

"I've got you," John said quietly, rubbing her palms with her thumbs as Sherlock pulled the tub of medical supplies closer to his chest. Crossed legged, Sherlock began to rock, backwards and forwards and Damien gave John a concerned look. "Give him a moment." 

"Alright, Atlas, I'm going to wipe at the cut to clean it, okay?" Damien said with a smile as Atlas nodded weakly.

"Okay," Atlas whispered.

"Alright then," Damien said as Atlas continued to watch her dad whose eyes were transfixed on the patch of blood that had accumulated on the floor.

"Dad," Atlas tried, quietly. "Dad." She said louder before finally shouting. "Dad!" 

He looked at her sharply.

"Hand cream?" She asked before Sherlock got to his feet, put the box down, squeezed past John and went to the bathroom. There he retrieved some Lavender and Lemongrass hand cream and came back. He sat down opposite Atlas and took her left hand from her. "Thank you." Sherlock just nodded before massaging her hand gently. 

"Sorry," He whispered after a beat or two.

"Its alright, dad," Atlas said gently with a grin and he looked at her as she nodded before putting her head back against John. 

"How long have you had seizures?" Damien asked with a smile.

"Since I was one and a half," Atlas whispered, face neutral. 

"So a long time then," Damien said quietly. "Who caught it?" He asked. "The FND."

"Doctor George Aduba," John replied, holding Atlas' cheek with his free hand whilst she winced. 

"I've heard of him. Good catch," Damien smiled as John nodded.

"He was very good to us in the early days," John said. "Still is. Asks for progress constantly. Sam and Atlas were friends with his niece thought before she died. I was friends with her father, Thomas before he died." 

"Ah, I saw that, plane crash," Damien said as Atlas mumbled a reply, closing her eyes against John. 

"Yes," Sherlock rumbled, continuing to massage her fingers.

"Papa," Atlas whispered again as John kissed her hair. "No, your prickly." 

"I know, I should probably shave it soon," He smiled.

"No, pa," Atlas said urgently. "Don't. Dad likes it." 

"Does he now?" John asked before he exchanged a look with his husband who had begun to blush. 

"I'm about to start putting the butterfly strips on so this might sting a bit more," Damien smiled as Atlas nodded but her eyes began to droop. 

"Yeah, you with us Atlas?" John asked rocking her slightly before her eyes rolled.

"Atlas," Damien said to her but she was already having a seizure. Arms up by her sides, John unsure what to do. "Just stay there. If she hurts you, you move."

"Alright," John agreed. "I've got you, Atlas. I've got you my darling. I've got you." 

"Bless her," Damien said. "She's going to need sleep later." 

"Probably," Sherlock said. "And food and lots and lots of love." 

"I'll fix her whilst she's unconcious in post-ictal," Damien said. "OK, OK, we've got you." 

When the seizure stopped, Damien quickly got to work on neatly matching the skin together with medical glue and tape, John peeling back Atlas' hair as she sat up his front. 

"Oh, love," He whispered as he held her head still, unconcious. Tears in his eyes as he kissed her hair over and over again. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

WHEN she came to, she was on the sofa in the living room, weighted blanket on top of her and a quiet house.

"Where?" Atlas muttered, moving her head side to side. 

"Atlas, your....well...awake," Sherlock said quietly, rubbing her hair as he came to sit on the sofa by her legs.

"Where?"

"Isla's."

"No, the people," Atlas whispered. 

"They went home," Sherlock smiled.

"Why?"

"Because we'd finished for the day and you've been out a while," Sherlock smiled, rubbing the hand she gave him under his thumb. 

"What time is it?" Atlas whispered as she let out a breath.

"About half four," Sherlock said. "Everyone left when we told them you'd had two seizures."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Atlas whispered. "Where's Ro?"

"Rosie, Harry, Jo and Sam all took Redbeard out. Papa's in the bath and Isla is prepping tea," Sherlock said with a grin which faltered as Atlas tried to smile but it just looked like a grimace. "Hey, Atlas, sweetheart, that's alright."

"Is papa alright?" Atlas asked, sitting up sharply wide eyed.

"Of course he's alright, duck," Sherlock smiled. 

"You haven't called me duck in years, dad," Atlas whispered.

"It was your pout," Sherlock grinned at her. "The pout did it." 

Atlas giggled at that. "I missed you. All those years, I really, really missed you dad."

"Oh, duck, I missed you too," Sherlock smiled at her. "I really, really missed you. My baby, my little baby. You were and always will be the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Over papa?"

"Yes, because although you both came at a moment that I needed you and you both saved my life on several accounts and made my life worth living but you...you Atlas, your me. You are a part of me that is living and breathing and _alive..._ When I felt like dying I just had to think of you, this person who was alive. The alive part of me and all the best bits of me. All the bits that made me me. Atlas, you reminded me that I am worth it. I have self worth," Sherlock said, looking at her as she watched him keenly.

"Well I'm glad," Atlas said. "If it's any justification, I feel like I'm a piece of you too. I love you too."

"I love you more, duck," Sherlock grinned. 

"No matter what," Atlas finished before Sherlock smiled at her. They sat looking at each other for moment. "Somehow, sitting stating at you dad doesn't feel awkward."

"I was thinking the same thing, love," Sherlock smiled. "I've been talking with papa though."

"Yeah?" She asked. "What about?"

"Your seizures," He smiled. "We're going to have to see Thomas when we get back, okay? The medication is needing changed again, I think." 

"Where's papa?" Atlas asked again.

"Bath, remember?" Sherlock smiled, rubbing her cheek.

"Yeah, oh yeah," Atlas said, trying to smile a little. "Sorry." 

"It's alright," Sherlock smiled.

"I know you said I didn't hurt him but I can't help thinking I did. When I had the second seizure," Atlas said quietly.

"Well, you did catch his cheek," Sherlock said. "And his shoulder was aching."

"So I did then," Atlas said, looking at him sadly. 

"It's just a little nick on his cheek, nothing to worry about," Sherlock said as Atlas leaned back and looked at the ceiling, blinking away tears. "Come on, sweetheart. It's alright. Why don't I go get one of the emergency case files I brought with me?" 

"Alright," Atlas said, wiggling her toes as Sherlock got up. 

"I'll be back in a moment, Duck," Sherlock smiled before he disappeared.

He reappeared about a minute later, accompanied by a pencil case full of highlighters and pens. 

"Right," Sherlock said, stepping onto the sofa and squeezing into the gap between his daughter and the back of the sofa. "Thank god Isla has a nice and wide sofa." He rumbled as Atlas looked at him and nodded. 

"Closed case?" Atlas asked, looking at the cover of the file.

"Absolutely," Sherlock said with a smile. "They closed the case a few months ago but never found out who murdered them."

"Even better," Atlas smirked.

"Careful, you sound like me there, Duck," Sherlock smiled. 

Just then, there was a knock on the wall.

"I thought you were up," Isla said with a smile. "Look at you two." She paused. "You are so alike. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you want anything to eat or drink Atlas?" 

"I'll come get a glass of water and maybe...what biscuits do you have?" Atlas asked.

"My goodness, you can tell your John's daughter. We have custard creams, digestives, and I'll get your water," Isla smiled touching her shoulder, Atlas nodded with a grin. 

"Custard creams, please, thank you," Atlas smiled.

"No problem," Isla chirped. "Sherlock, would you like anything?"

"I'll have the same as Atlas, please," Sherlock smiled. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, I'll be back in a mo," Isla smiled.

"Okay," Atlas said, before turning her attention back to the case file, eager to look it over. 

When Isla came back in she found them sitting crossed legged, facing each other with bits of paper and photographs strewn all over the place. Sticky notes and highlighted phrases outlined suspects. 

"Closed cases?" Isla asked with a smile.

"Yup," Atlas said as she read over an article with a highlighter in hand. 

"Ah, I read about this. Spent weeks trying to solve it to impress my boss, didn't work out," Isla smirked. "Ended up getting sacked but I got re-employed and worked on murders in the Highlands. Some interesting cases of bodies in suitcases and caves. Rather interesting."

"Wait!" Atlas exclaimed. "You were a detective?"

"I sure was," Isla smiled. "John, didn't tell you?" She asked pulling the table over to place the biscuits and drinks.

"No," Atlas laughed. "He didn't." 

"Well, I'll be having words," Isla smiled. 

•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•

JOHN appeared around ten minutes later to laughter and he sighed in relief, shoulders sagging.

"Your alright," John said as he saw Atlas sitting opposite her dad, Isla on a stool as they poured over case file after case file. "Well, not alright but awake. That's good." 

Atlas looked at him with a frown before bursting into tears. 

"I'll leave you be," Isla said with a smile before disappearing as Sherlock began to tidy away the case. 

"Hey, hey, love, what's wrong?" John asked as he crouched beside the sofa, hand rubbing her knee.

"I hurt you," She whispered, not daring to look at him.

"What did I say to you, Atlas?" Sherlock asked her but she just shook her head and clamped her hands harder over her eyes. Sherlock moved then to let John in who pulled her despite protests to his chest.

"I've got you, it's alright. It's alright," John said, tucking her under his chin. 

"I'm scared," She admitted, looking at Sherlock with serious side eye. 

"We know," Sherlock said gently. 

"I don't know how to not be scared," Atlas whispered.

"Hey, it's alright," John said. "I'm scared too so how's about, you and me, are scared together?

"Papa," Atlas whispered as he clamped his hand either side of his face. 

"Yeah, lovebug?" John asked looking at Atlas.

"I'm sorry," Atlas sobbed looking back at John. 

"I know," John soothed. "Stop apologising."

"I can't help it," Atlas laughed.

"You and your dad are the same there," John said with a smile as Atlas looked off into the distance, waiting a moment longer. "Back with us?" 

"Yep," Atlas chirped. "Not having a good day, am I really?" 

"No, not really," John said with a sad smile. "But that's okay, we're all allowed a bad day." 

"How are you so good with words, papa?" Atlas grinned.

"He is rather, isn't he?" Sherlock giggled as he rubbed her knee. "I love you, Duck." 

"I love you too, dad. I love you, papi," Atlas smiled. 

"I love you too," John smiled before he sat, thinking deeply. "You've never called me papi." 

"Oh," Atlas said with a laugh before throwing her arms around his neck again, John's hands squeezing at the fabric of her jumper before rubbing gently. And when he tried to move away, Atlas just gripped tighter and tighter. 

"I've got you," John whispered, kissing her cheek gently. 

"I don't want to let go yet," Atlas said quietly.

"That's alright," John said with a smile. "I'll sit here with you as long as you need and want me to." 

"Thank you," Atlas mumbled, before kissing his cheek and burying herself back against him.

A while later, she looked at him.

"Papa," She asked. "What's for tea?"

"Me and your dad were thinking of cooking smoked basa kedgeree as Isla had a fish delivery," John said smiling. 

"OK," Atlas smiled. "Sounds good."

"Good," John said again. "Now, there's a storm coming in tonight so Isla's putting on the fire in a moment and we're due thunder and lightning. I just wanted to check if your okay with thunder and lightning?" 

"I can't believe we've never been in a situation where you've had to ask that," Atlas smiled. "But I'm grateful. The flashes may not be so great but the sounds alright. Counting the distance of it is far more interesting anyway." 

"Is it flashbacks?" John asked.

"Yes, but I'll be fine. Shut the curtains and I'll be fine," Atlas said with a small smile.

"I know you will and Rosie, well, she'll just enjoy it, won't she?" John laughed. "She'll be attached to Sherlock watching the thunder and lightning."

"It'll be a dance and a symphony to dad."

"That it will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's quite cringey and she has quite a few seizures but enjoy.


	9. I'll Be Here When You Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A love between two fathers.
> 
> Seizures again.

THE storm did arrive, and sure enough, Sherlock watched it eagerly from the window, his face lit by passing lightning. Rosie had jumped up and sat on the bay windowsill, watching how the rain battered the windows, the wind made the house groan and sing. 

Sammy, didn't think much of it and sat, watching Rosie and Sherlock, Atlas wrapped in her blanket. 

"Alright, love?" John asked, sitting beside her with a groan.

"Yes," Atlas whispered as he pulled her against him. "Are you in pain?"

"Its the cold air and then the air pressure too," John sighed. "That's all." 

"Oh," Atlas said. "Do you want a massage?" 

"No," John sighed. "But thank you, my darling." 

"Okay," Atlas whispered before shutting her eyes against him. "My head hurts." 

"Do you want something for it?" John asked gently, rubbing his thumb over the ridge of her shoulder.

"I mean, I was going to take some feminax but-" Atlas said quietly before her eyes glazed over and she sat still. A pause and she was back, blinking at him. "What was I saying?"

"That you were going to take some feminax," John sighed.

"Oh yeah, but I didn't. Can't remember why. I'm on my period though, just to clear that up," Atlas whispered before looking around the room, Sammy smiling softly at her when he caught her eyes.

"Do you want a hot water bottle?" John said before glancing at Isla to catch her attention. "I'm sure Aunty Isla has one." 

"I do," Isla smiled. "Drinking lots of water can help too, just to make sure everything is flushed through properly." 

"I'll go fill one for you," John said before himself and Isla left the room. 

"Where are they off to?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Hot water bottle," Atlas smiled. "I'm on my period and I have cramps." 

Jo looked confused for a moment before her eyebrows raising.

"Sammy has known me ages and he's my best friend and then it's hard to keep it from your dad's when one's a doctor, the other a detective. And the fact that they both care," Atlas smiled as Sherlock walked over and kissed her forehead. 

"I love you," Sherlock smiled.

"I love you too, dad," Atlas smiled.

"Makes sense," Jo smiled. 

"Yeah, papa and dad are good about it. They buy products and stuff and make me hot water bottles," Atlas laughed as Sherlock smiled once and returned to the window.

"This is why you and Sherlock win best parenting award," Isla smiled in the other room, John shaking his head as he waited for the kettle.

"I'm not sure about that," John frowned as Isla nodded.

"Oh, I think so. Your both good cop and bad cop but you love those kids through there. All of them," Isla said with a smile. "And that's what matters. That you love them." 

"I do," John admitted as he looked at her. "And I'm scared for them, all of them." 

"Why is that?" Isla asked gently.

"Because, they're at threat just from being our children. Rosie's at threat because her mother was a secret agent, Sam's at risk...because well he's Sam and Atlas..." John frowned.

"Is at risk because her mother was psychopath and her dad is Sherlock Holmes but most importantly because she's run undercover work herself. She's the biggest target," Isla said with a smile. "Figure?" 

"Yes," John sighed. "I just, I know I speak about her a lot. Like, a lot and I probably shouldn't but it's so, so difficult not to. I speak about her more than the others and I don't want them to think we have fav-"

"Of course you should think about Atlas, John, don't be silly," Sammy scolded entering with a smirk. "I worry about her too, all the time."

"I know you do, love," John smiled as Sammy came to stop next to him.

"Hug?" Sammy asked quietly.

"Yeah, come here," John said opening his arms and letting Sammy nestle his nose gently against his neck. "God, why do you have to be so tall?" 

"I'm not that tall," Sammy said. 

"You are. Close to being taller than Sherlock," John laughed rubbing his back. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too," Sammy whispered quietly before letting go as the kettle clicked and left the kitchen.

And then there was another click and the lights all went out. And then so did the heating. 

They could hear a screech from the living room before John quickly switched on his phone light.

"Could you hold the torch please?" John asked Isla. "We should use the hot water while we can and flask the rest." 

"Okay," Isla said as John filled a green hot water bottle up before opening the cupboard to the flasks, finding them and filling. 

"Thank you," John said before going into the living room. "Who's crying?"

"Rosie, she got a fright," Sherlock said from where he could be seen holding the child to his chest trying to ditract her with the lightning. "It's alright, my darling. The lightning just put out the lights." John gave Atlas her water bottle before he went over and took Rosie.

"Your getting a bit old," John said to Rosie as he took her but she only cried more. "Oh, Ro, love, it's alright. Have you got Jeff?" She just nodded before pulling away and looking at him.

"Papi?" Rosie asked gently.

"Yeah, love?" John asked.

"You smell nice," Rosie blubbered. "And your soft and I love you." 

"Hey, hey, hey," John said as she cried. "It's okay."

Harry got up and stood infront of Sherlock and Atlas.

"Hop up and help me move this nearer the fire," Harry ordered and Sherlock and Atlas stood, pushing the sofa infront of the fire and grabbing a chair to move closer too.

"Come on," Isla said. "Huddle. The heating's out." 

"Sammy, you come and sit here next to Jo," Harry ordered. "I'll go get some blankets." She disappeared.

"I'll sit on the floor," Sammy smiled. "I'm young enough and we can get some cushions." He went over to Rosie. "We can have a little den Rosie." 

"Yeah!" She exclaimed before she wriggled and ran over, sitting on the floor as the dog came and sat next to her. Eventually lying down. 

"I'll sit on the floor too," Atlas smiled as Sherlock nodded. 

"I'll sit with you," Sherlock smiled as he sat down, just as John sat down on the sofa behind them. Atlas' head resting head on her dad's shoulder, his arm looped around her. The hot water bottle nestled against her abdomen as she shut her eyes, her blanket wrapped over herself and her dad.

"John," Harry said handing him a blanket and sitting down next to him on the sofa, Isla sitting next to her, Jo in the chair on the end. John leaned against Harry gently, and she put an arm around him.

"Love ya," Harry smiled, kissing his hair like he was a child.

"Love ya too, Harry," John smiled. 

"This lightning is killing my head," Atlas whispered. 

"Have you got a headache, love?" John asked, gently touching her shoulder.

"Yes, yeah," Atlas whispered before moving to put her head in Sherlock's lap. "And I've got a funny feeling." 

"That's alright, just try to grab some sleep," Sherlock said, rubbing a hand along her arm. "It'll help."

"Not a good day," Atlas muttered as she drifted off to sleep, Sherlock's hand in her hair. Sammy, who had been sitting with Rosie, got up and lay down next to Atlas, his head resting on Sherlock's lower legs. He looked at her softly before he too shut his eyes. 

Rosie climbed into Isla's lap and her eyes began to close aswell, Jeff cuddled to her chest. 

"Those two," Jo smiled, her hands clasped in her lap as she looked at the two of them.

"Sherlock's family call them the twins," John laughed as he looked down at them. 

"Are you close with them all?" Isla asked with a smile.

"Yes, we are rather," John smiled. "Atlas is particularly attached to Sherlock's brother Mycroft and spends a lot of time at his. But we all see them regularly and spend time with them."

"For Sammy, he says it's because he's not used to a large family with loads of people who love and care about whether he lives or breathes. For Rosie, she knows no different-" John said.

"And for Atlas, she never really had a family except for me," Sherlock frowned. "And even then I left her behind for eight years of her life."

"What?" Jo said suddenly.

"I put Atlas for adoption," Sherlock frowned. "I had to."

"But why?" Jo queried. 

"I couldn't look after her. Well I could, but it became unsafe for me to do so. I was running a particularly dangerous case and it was better I had no child that they could use against me for leverage," Sherlock said quietly. "Not when that child was everything to me and didn't deserve anything that could happen to her. And it wasn't easy. She was the only thing I had, the only person who was mine. The only thing that kept me alive." 

"Well put," Harry said with a smile. "Aww, look, you've made my baby brother cry." 

"Sorry, sorry," John chuckled as Sherlock rubbed his cheek against his husband's knee. 

"It's why I love you," Sherlock grinned, John nodding back. 

"I love you too," John smiled before planting a hand into Sherlock's hair and rubbing. 

"You'll put me to sleep, John," Sherlock sighed, putting his head back against the older man's legs. "Thank you, though."

John just smiled at him before they looked down at Atlas with frowns. 

"I've been meaning to ask this question, and I hope you don't think it's like...rude or anything..." Harry said quietly. "But PTSD, do you both have it?" 

"Yes," Sherlock said shortly. 

"I got mine from the war," John said quietly looking at her sadly. "And one other thing which we don't talk about."

"I got mine in Serbia. I did...you could say time there...working...nothing much else really. Hardy people my family but that's one of the periods of my life I can't shake. And a few other things from when Atlas was a baby but nothing else, not much." 

"And Atlas?" Harry asked.

"Everything," Atlas mumbled from where she had been previously sleeping. "But I'm alright...most of the time." 

"You don't have to lie about it, love," John said.

"Alright, it's shit," Atlas said bluntly.

"Eh, language, miss," Sherlock said, as she looked at him. 

"What, I can't think of any word better," Atlas said and Sherlock gave a gentle smile. "Plus, Sammy's starting to show signs of potential PTSD too. Nightmares at least." Atlas looked at her dad with a frown. "I still feel funny." 

"Yeah?" Sherlock asked, as Atlas nodded and then her eyes glazed. "Oh, love."

"What's wrong?" Isla asked.

"She's having a seizure," Sherlock said quietly. 

"Hey," Atlas said after a moment. 

"Hey," Sammy said back to her, as he looked at her. "Wanna listen to music to chill?" 

"Yeah," Atlas smiled as he lay back down next to her and gave her an ear of his headphones.

"MIKA?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah or "I Was Born In The Wrong Generation,"" Atlas smiled at him as they lay down.

It was a while before anyone spoke again, Rosie dozing in Isla's lap.

 _"I look for joy in a strange place,  
At the back of a bar, from afar,  
I see the look on my mama's face,  
When her son's in the corner undone," _ Atlas sang, giggling as Sammy joined her for the next verse.

 _"She says that my life is over,  
'Boy you don't know what you got till it's gone,  
Come put your head upon my shoulder'  
She gave me her hand but I ignored her," _ Atlas smiled before Rosie crawled over and planted herself between the twins. Sherlock becoming excited for the chorus, he knew what was coming.

_Oh, Dr. John  
What am I doing, what am I doing wrong?  
'Cause I keep on trying  
Something ain't going, something ain't going on, Dr. John_

_I look for joy in a strange place  
In the back of a bar, from afar  
I see the look on my daddy's face  
When his son's fallin' over, undone_

_Father, my life is over  
I didn't know what I had, now it's gone  
Can I lay my head upon your shoulder?  
If I fall asleep, will it be over?_

_Oh, Dr. John  
What am I doing, what am I doing wrong?  
'Cause I keep on trying  
Something ain't going, something ain't going on," _ They all sang together, giddily, Sherlock grinning up at John, smile as wide as ears. John sighed before joining in, defeated.

_"Oh, Dr. John  
What am I doing, what am I doing wrong?  
'Cause I keep on trying  
Something ain't going, something ain't going on_

_You say I'm a big heartbreaker  
But Doctor, I'd never hurt you  
Isn't it obvious?_

_Oh, Dr. John  
What am I doing, what am I doing wrong?  
'Cause I keep on trying  
Something ain't going, something ain't going on_

_Oh, Dr. John (Another day, another break up)  
We hold on and on, we hold on and on and on  
I keep on trying (Another day, another wake up)  
We hold on and on, we hold on and on and on_

_Oh, Dr. John (Another day, another break up)  
And what am I doing (We hold on and on)  
What am I doing wrong? (We hold on and on and on)  
'Cause I, I keep on trying (Another day, another weak up)  
Something ain't going (We hold on and on)  
Something ain't going on (We hold on and on and on)_

_Oh, Dr. John (Another day, another break up)  
What am I doing (We hold on and on)  
What am I doing wrong? (We hold on and on and on)  
'Cause I keep on trying (Another day, another weak up)  
Something ain't going (We hold on and on)  
Something ain't going on (We hold on and on and on)_

_Dr. John, oh, Dr. John,"_ They all sang, smiling before Atlas sat up before falling forward onto her dad, he rubbed his hands over her back.

Their singing however, had drowned out the sound of someone hammering on the door. And when they finished, they heard it, loud.

"Someone's at the door," Atlas said suddenly as she scrambled to her feet and started to leave the living room.

"Atlas," Sherlock said coming up behind her, slowly.

"I'll answer it," She said stubbornly, her feet carrying her to the door. Whoever it was must be soaked by now and desperate at the same time.

"Alright," Sherlock said. 

Atlas slowly went to the door before flinging it open and in tumbled a man, accompanied by a suitcase.

"PETER!?" Atlas exclaimed before Sherlock ran into the darkness to see the man dragged into the hallway by Atlas. 

"Peter? Are you alright? Are you OK?" Sherlock asked before he pulled him to standing. "Torches, we need torches!"

"Papa!" Atlas shouted through to the living room. "We need your help!" 

"I'm coming," John said before the man in Atlas and Sherlock's arms collapsed.

"Papa! Quicker! Papa! Papa!" Atlas shouted as she helped her dad lie him down in the dark of the kitchen. "We need to strip him." Peter fussed at her. "No, I'm sorry Pete. I know I've only just met you but you'll become hyperthermic, okay?" 

"I'm here," John said. 

"It's Peter," Atlas frowned before herself and Sherlock pulled off his shirt and threw off his clothing. "Papa, your clothes or dad's? Whose will fit better?"

"Your dad's I think," John frowned. "I've put on a lot of weight. Mine won't fit." 

"Okay," Atlas smiled. "I'll go. I'm a girl. You and dad continue and I'll take Sam. Judging by the measurements I've just approximately taken, Sam's might fit." 

"Alright," John said nodding at her before Atlas left and shut the door.

"Sam," Atlas said poking her head in the door. "I need your help."

"Is it Peter? Is my son alright?" Isla asked urgently, fussing at Atlas.

"My dads will sort him," Atlas said. "I wouldn't go in the kitchen." 

"Okay," Isla said as Jo led her back to her chair beside the fire. 

Atlas and Sammy darted up the stairs to the bedroom they were both sharing with Rosie. 

"I was thinking my jumper. The one papa gave me because it doesn't fit him anymore," Sammy said as Atlas grinned at him. "What? Why are you grinning?" 

"You called papa....papa...it makes me so happy when you call them that," Atlas smiled. 

"Yeah?" Sammy asked as he pulled the light green jumper out of the duffel. "He tried to give me one of his dark blue ones but it still fit him and he suits that colour, so, so much. It matches his eyes." And then he burst into tears, sitting on the bed with the jumper clutched to his chest. 

"Hey Sam," Atlas said gently as she crouched next to him, kneeling on the floor. She put her torch upright on the floor and looked at him kindly. "Hey, hey, what is it?" 

"I love them," Sammy sobbed. "Dad and Papa." Sammy cried, Atlas sitting with him. "And I don't know if I can even call them that." 

"Sam, listen to me. Our dad's love you. To the moon and back," Atlas smiled at him. "We all do." 

"I love you," He sobbed. 

"I love you too, I'll run the clothes down and then we'll chat with dad and papa yeah? You come down when you ready," Atlas said with a smile, getting to her feet, she collected the jumper, t-shirt and then went to get a pair of trousers that belonged to Sherlock - It would fit his waist best. Collecting all the items, she went downstairs and knocked at the kitchen door with a towel. "I brought the stuff." 

"Okay, thank you, love," John said before going back with Sherlock and helping.

"Once your finished," Atlas said. "Sammy and I need to chat to you and dad." 

"Tonight?" John sighed and he seemed pissed.

"Yes, tonight, papa," Atlas bit back. "Don't be an asshole."

"Eh, Atlas Watson-Holmes, watch your language," John said, looking at her pointedly, forcing himself to peer.

"I was just asking you something," Atlas said, sassily. "And besides, I needed to tell you about a new symptom and I wanted to cross is by you." 

"Atlas," John tried again. "It's dark, it's late and I'm tired. I'm sure it can wait."

"It can't wait, papa. Not for me, not for Sam," Atlas said, frowning. 

"Atlas, I swear to god," John said, Sherlock taking half his stuff off of him. 

"Why are you speaking like that again? You sound angry," Atlas mumbled, staring at him.

"I'm angry with how selfish your being," John said before he shut the door completely on Sherlock and Peter and took her into the spare room that was being lit by the moonlight. "There's a point when it's appropriate-" 

"Papa, please," Atlas said quietly looking at him. "Your tired and-" She sat down on the bed. "And this is a lot and I'm not..."

"Not what?" He asked. "Atlas, everything is difficult at the moment. My dad died and now I have to face his homophibic family and it's a lot to deal with."

"I know, pa," Atlas whispered. "I'm not being selfish."

"Atlas," John said back. "It wasn't the right time to tell me about new symptoms. I'm trying to sort Peter out." 

"My sight is getting worse," Atlas spat, standing opposite him now. "That's what I needed to tell you, when I've got the headaches. And I don't know if I'm being more needy because I'm on my period and I'm probably super hormonal. And I've got heart palpitations starting up again several times a day." 

"Okay, but this wasn't the right time-" 

Atlas looked away and everything was too familiar again. The smell, the words and the sound. The thunder and lightning that echoed and cast light across the room. 

"Atlas," John tried but she had her back turned now and her breathing was heavy. Her hands were shaking and he could hear her chest heaving. "Can you-" 

"Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep," Atlas said repetitively and the dog walks through the open door, sniffing at her hand. "Sleep, sleep, sleep." 

"Atlas, it's not real," John said, trying to pull her away from what she was slipping into. "Is she about to have a seizure or is it just a flashback, Red?" He sighed. "She's stressed so frankly it could be either." He paused and stood oppistie her, tears in her eyes.

"I have to find out. Have to find out," Atlas said looking off to the side, eyes to the floor.

"Alright, Atlas, it's alright," John said, hoping against hope that she would look up at him and come back to the real world. "I think we need to get you lying down."

Atlas glanced around the room taking a seat on the floor, hand out. 

"Yeah," John coaxed. "That's it. Good. Good girl. I'm here with you." He paused as he then put a pillow behind her head as she lay down. The dog continued to sniff and then the seizure started. "Oh, love, it's okay. It's okay. I've got you. I'm here." 

"Is everything al-" Sammy said coming into the room his face stained with tears, Atlas' weighted blanket gathered around his shoulders. 

"She's not been going long," John said. "I've got you. I've got you." John paused. "I'm an awful dad. I'm sorry, Sam." 

"Your not awful," Sammy said before he sat down next to John. "Your wonderful." He then attached himself to John's arm. "I love you."

"I love you too," John said, an arm wrapped around the boy's shoulder. "Atlas said you needed a chat?"

"See, you are a good dad," Sammy said as he looked at Atlas. "We've got you. We've got you." 

"John?" Sherlock said into the hallway. 

"Do you need me?" John called out into the hallway as he held a tissue to Atlas' mouth. 

"Just to move Peter back into th-" Sherlock started before he appeared in the doorway and...faltered. "I can...I'm..."

"Sam, love?" John asked kindly. "Go help Sherlock and then come back here with him and we'll have a chat. The moon's putting a little bit of light over us all." 

"Okay, yeah," Sammy said before he got up and left the room with Sherlock.

They came back not a moment later, Atlas' back still arched, John still whispering reassurance. "She's just slowing now." John paused. "God I hope she is." 

"She'll be fine, John," Sherlock smiled at him, coming over. "She will be okay." 

"I don't know Sherlock," John frowned. "She had a flashback, or at least, I think that's what it was." The seizure stopped and moving back onto her back, he rubbed her side. "Alright. We're here. We've got you." 

"How long?" Atlas mumbled, eyes still shut refusing to look at them.

"Two minutes," John said back with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry, Atlas. I'm so sorry." 

"You don't have to apologise. I was being a bitch," Atlas said before John started to cry and she threw her arms around his shoulders. "It's alright, papa." 

"I'm sorry," John sobbed and he felt strange. The roles should be reversed she should be crying on his shoulder, not the other way around.

"Alright," Atlas said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too," John said back cradling her head to his chest. "I've got you." 

"No, papa," Atlas said pulling away and looking at him. "I've got _you."_

John then turned to look back at Sherlock who came around and shuffled with Sammy, the young boy sitting next to Atlas, propped up against the spare bed that was probably going to be Peter's. 

"Atlas said that you needed a chat, Sam," John said before more tears were shed as Sammy held his face in his hands. 

"Yeah," Sammy mumbled. "Atlas?"

"Yeah?" She asked looking at him with a frown. "You tell them." 

"Sammy wants to call you guys dad and papa but he doesn't know how to say it," Atlas said bluntly. "What?" She paused. "I wasn't going to beat around the bush." 

John got up and walked around to sit opposite Sammy. "Take your hands away from your face." Sammy didn't budge. "Come on." 

Sammy did with a blush and refusal to look remotely near John or Sherlock.

"Of course you can, Sam," John said before Sammy burst into tears and found himself gathered into John's arms. 

"I love you," Sammy sobbed against John.

"I love you too," John said gently, kissing Sammy's temple. "Right, they're going to wonder what's going on. We should probably go..." He paused. "Atlas, you OK?" 

She just held a hand up to silence him. 

"Today's a weird kinda day and I still feel fuzzy and funny. I thought it was the seizure and normally the feeling goes away but it hasn't and my head hurts and my legs and I just want to go to sleep and I'm mad..." Atlas grumbled. "I'm grumpy, I don't like being grumpy."

"Well, come on then," Sherlock said standing infront of her. "Your allowed to be grumpy just don't be mean." He offered a hand which she took gladly as she stood. "Let's go back, it's getting a bit chilly in here."

When they went back in Atlas sat down on the sofa with a huff. 

"Are you alright?" Jo asked, looking at her kindly.

"I had a seizure," Atlas whispered looking directly at the fire, her face devoid of emotion as John came and sat with her. A hand on her back. "I'm not having a good day."

"If it's any justification," Peter mumbled from where he sat on the other side of John. "Neither am I." 

"Twins," Atlas smiled before leaning back against the sofa and curling into John, Sherlock draping her blanket over the top of her before sitting on the floor. "I love you."

"I love you too," John smiled down at her as she rested her head just below his chin, her eyes closing. She pulled the blanket a little further over so it rested over him aswell before his hand met hers. 

"God, Atlas, your hands are freezing," John muttered a Sammy came and sat near his feet, leaning on Sherlock. 

"My feet are cold too," Atlas mumbled against him.

"I can confirm that," Sherlock muttered shuffling on her feet.

"Catch some sleep, lovebug," John smiled, looking down at her. "I'll be here when you wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotes. 
> 
> See you for the next one.


End file.
